What do you think hes thinking?

[Kgo1998]

My boyfriend who iv been with for one year is albanian. He lives in uk but most his family live in albanian still. They found out hes with an english girl and hate me because im english and dont want him to be with me. He wont let anything about us go on facebook which i hate! He never puts me first , he will let me down last minute for anything but then when i tell him he doesn't understand! I love this boy but wish he put our relationship first and didn't listen to others! Dont know what to do please help!

[julietsromeo]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation.

Anyway, it goes both ways. It may be due to the fact that there's cultures clashing. Pretty sure parents would want the best for their children no matter how irrational it sounds. If you were an Albanian girl and he's the English guy I am pretty sure they would react just as violently. Their ways are not your ways. They might want him to settle down with a proper Albanian girl and preserve their own traditions, I don't know. There could be compromises but it will not be without arguments.

He may be doing that Facebook thing to protect you. It's not necessarily it's because he's ashamed, or he isn't putting you first. You must think of a relationship as something you both have to have understanding of each other. He probably gets his ears chewed out by his own family because of your relationship, which he probably is trying to protect.

In a relationship we can't expect people to listen to us always, what we want, how we want it, etc. It's not all because of you. Or it's not all because of him. We can't demand things from our partners. So to say we must put relationships first over everything else sounds a bit selfish. I mean it will eventually lead to that, but you can't demand that.

Hope this helps.

[Wakeup]

He's hiding you from who is most important to him. That is a huge red flag and I can surely see you getting shredded as he refuses to go against his parents wishes.

You'd do well to break up with him so that you can grieve and then when feeling better, find someone more compatible and who isn't afraid to be proud to show you to his loved ones.

Sorry, but this is a red flag you'd do well not to ignore. Your gut is telling you something and if he won't announce your courtship then he's not going to continue on with you into your futures. Does his family plan on arranging a bride for him too?