I Wish I Wasn't So Attached to Her! (Really Need Advice)

[Vin83]

Before I start I should warning you that it's gonna be a pretty long story.

In 2005, I knew a girl from a popular online game, I called her "SR". I didn't know much about her real life as she barely talked about it, all that I knew that she lived in other country and she was a student. I enjoyed playing the game with her, she was such a good gamer and also a good listener. It didn't take long before I realized I like her more than just a friend. But suddenly she quit the game due to her study and we lost contact.

In 2012, while playing another online game, I met SR again. It was pure coincidence, but I was so happy because she still remembered me. After some months, I asked her if I could chat with her via Skype. I didn't know why, that time I just really want to see her face and listen to her voice. She agreed. All that we talked about was game. Later we chat via Skype several times and we were really close, I was almost sure that she likes me too. One day I confessed my feeling to her and asked what she thought about it. It turned out she didn't believe in cyber love, which devastated me so bad. She told me something like "you never meet me in person, you probably just fall in love with your imagination about me".

Early 2014, I decided to visit SR to prove that I'm really serious about her. But I was really shocked when I knew about her life. She lives in a lavish apartment, and from the pictures I saw there, I found out that she was graduated from university at the age of 18. I remembered one of her real life friend who played the same game as us, once told me that she was a genius. I thought it was just a figure of speech because SR was really good at gaming. I should have known about it because I've always known that SR speaks 4 languages. She's also a CEO of a trading company (she really doesn't look like one!). I felt totally inferior to her. I spent 4 days in her town but I felt horrible. I had feeling that she was very excited of my visit, she even bought me expensive presents. Before I flew home, I told her I couldn't accept her presents and I returned all to her. I was so stupid to tell her that if I wanted those stuff, I would've bought it myself. She was stunned, but she took it rather calmly.

After I went home, via game, she asked me if she had made me disappointed. I told her honestly about my feeling. I asked her why she never told me about her real life before. She said it was unnecessary, she played the game for fun, bla bla bla, everything that sounds like bullsh*t to me. I quit the game that time and I never call her anymore. I also blocked her FB account from my friend list, because I thought it was useless, she only used it for games. I tried to forget her, but the more I try, the more I miss her.

Last December, I texted her only to wish her Merry Christmas. She replied warmly, but later she told me she was engaged. I knew her fiancee, it was her friend from university that used to play the same game as us. Here's what I knew about this guy. In game, he was a troll, he kept asking help and very selfish. He dated a player (a girl, not SR, but we all came from the same guild) and it turned out he was only using her to pay his account. He was dropped out from university because he played online game too much. From his FB, I knew that at the moment he worked as basketball coach in a local primary school. I couldn't stop thinking that he only wants SR's money. I didn't want to say that I'm a better person but why she chose him? Why not me? I might be not as smart of rich as her, but I have steady job, I earn more than enough for myself.

Half part of me wanted me to visit her again and ask her if I still had chance to change her mind. What do you guys think about my situation? Note, I really tried to forget SR many times. But I love her for years and I'm so attached to her.

[ayu]

You could always go for it again and tell her honestly how you feel. See her response, either she says yes or no. if she says no then you have a reason to move on and know that you really tried. If yes then obviously see where it goes.

Alternatively be her friend and try to be there for her.

Try not to feel anger towards her new partner, as for one it's not helpful to your emotional being and two even if you say anything it will just paint you as the bad guy. He will show his true colours if what you say its true and she'll see it and lose interest.

You did a very smart thing not contacting her for a while, it's good to get space. Maybe confessing could give you closure.

Sorry if that didn't help much

Good luck!

[Gladimeir15]

Oh what love story you have!!!!!! For sure her mind is already fixed because once a woman gave her yes and accepts a proposal, eventually she is thinking it a million times and her heart is already given to that guy.... So why ruin their engagement????? Find another woman that will make you completely happy... certainly there are other girls around that are still available, not committed and willing to get involve.... Good luck...

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Oh what love story you have!!!!!! For sure her mind is already fixed because once a woman gave her yes and accepts a proposal, eventually she is thinking it a million times and her heart is already given to that guy.... So why ruin their engagement????? Find another woman that will make you completely happy... certainly there are other girls around that are still available, not committed and willing to get involve.... Good luck...

- - - Updated - - -

Oh what love story you have!!!!!! For sure her mind is already fixed because once a woman gave her yes and accepts a proposal, eventually she is thinking it a million times and her heart is already given to that guy.... So why ruin their engagement????? Find another woman that will make you completely happy... certainly there are other girls around that are still available, not committed and willing to get involve.... Good luck...

[sabaazam]

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