Need a fresh look and opinion. relationship problem

[simon86uk]

My girlfriend asked me to give her space ....? ( here is the story to it...we are together for 6 years, recently she did start her new career, on the course she meet a guy that she considered a friend and nothing more(as she said) few months past they both successfully past their exams and they work in the same trade, they still talk a lot. Our relationship so far went trough almost everything that can test relationship. Recently we had some problems cos I am working more then use to, and to add to it the guy told her he loves her. She was confused, still is, we had a chat over it, she was really upset that she misplaced her trust in him, but cos all of this both of us me and the guy have to give her space. We have a lot of respect for each other, we talk about everything, we're still able to live together. She did clearly said that, she does not love him (considering options in my opinion). Yet still in doubt about me. She clearly said, that she will ask him to let her figure it out. Is there point to hang in there ? I do love her, I know what I did wrong to put her in doubt, I have to improve her attraction to me and show her in a way that I am the one she needs, but not verbally I need to show it with my behavior be a man worth being with. Any comments are more then welcome.

[myers5061]

I have to improve her attraction to me and show her in a way that I am the one she needs

This is self-deception. If she's put you and the other guy on the scales and is now 'trying to figure it out', it's a dead-end situation. There is no such thing as 'improving attraction'. She either like you or not. If she's playing games like these, quit wasting your time and move on. It's gonna be hard but at least you'll avoid the really nasty part where she suddenly dumps you for that man.

[dontaskme]

If she can't figure by now that it's you she wants, then she'll never figure it out in the next day, month, or year. It's either she likes you now or she doesn't. Don't waste your time by allowing her to play around with your feelings.

[smarta$$]

I must have missed the part where you described what you did that would make her question your relationship together... were you unfaithful? Abusive? If so, how recently?

[TheEvilJester]

Agreed with smarta$$. Though part of me would like to say I agree with the others, I can't necessarily say that for sure without knowing if there may be valid reasons why she has begun to doubt her relationship with you. You don't have to share if you don't want, but it could change the direction of the advice I would give. If there really is no reason, or at least not valid enough reasons, for her to be doubting your relationship, then I would agree with the others. However, if there have been issues in your relationship, then I could maybe understand if that would put either of you in doubt.

If she is being completely honest with you, then she's at least done the right thing. She had no intention of pursuing a relationship with this guy and thought them just to be friends. It was HE who confessed feelings for her. Not only that, but she did not reciprocate those feelings. (Again, all of that is said going with the assumption that she IS being honest with you. If she's not, then whole different story...) I will say this.... I don't necessarily like that it took some other guy falling for her to suddenly decide she needed time to figure "figure things out." That does kind of hit me as being a little fishy/convenient timing. If it truly has nothing to do with that guy, then that should have been something she was deciding to do on her own... not a sudden reaction to some other guy asking her out.

Six years is a long time, so if it seems like whatever issues there may be between you two could be fixed, then maybe it is worth trying. However, on the flip side ot that coin..... six years is already a long time. If it has been six years and she's still not sure of your relationship, maybe that is a sign that you need to get away before you waste any more of your time only for her to hurt you down the road anyway. We can't really know which is the case since we are not you, we are not her, and we are not privy to your interactions. Only you can really know, so I wish you the best of luck in figuring that out. I hope you are able to decide what is best, and I hope it works out well for you.