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Thread: Am I overthinking this?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    1

    Am I overthinking this?

    I met this guy named "John" through Tinder. Typically I take Tinder for what it is, and rarely reach out to any guys I match up with, but John was different (for whatever reason). He was supposed to meet up with my friends and me 2 Sundays ago, but ended up going elsewhere with his friends and I wasn't going to migrate with mine. No biggie. We made plans to grab a drink before my softball game last Wednesday.

    Per the usual, as I was getting closer to our meeting time, I started REALLY not wanting to go. I've never really had good experience with Tinder, or guys for that matter. But I gave myself a pep talk and went.

    And I was REALLY glad that I did. To start, he was 100% my type physically. But the conversation was so easy and we didn't have any issues keeping it going. As it was getting time for me to leave for my game, we both joked about how we both thought about backing out of the date. That's when he told me that he rarely meets up with girls offline, but when he does, he rarely wants to see them again. Then he said that he wanted me to know that he really enjoyed our date and wanted to take me out again, suggesting dinner for the next night. That honestly freaked me out a bit (too soon) but I blew it off that he wanted to see me before he went out of town this past weekend. Regardless, I already had plans.

    He left for his trip with his friends and I honestly didn't expect to hear from him much. It was the complete opposite. He stayed in touch most of the weekend, sending me texts and snapchats. We agreed on dinner Sunday night when he got back.

    Dinner was GREAT! The conversation was amazing, once again. We talked about everything. When I asked him what his plans were for the weekend, he said he didn't have any but should ask "what OUR plans were??". So I told him I was going to a big St. Patty's Day brunch on Saturday and he was more than welcome to come. He agreed. We finished up dinner and I offered to take him home (he ubered to the bar).

    We talked a bit more on the way home. The conversation lead to talk about what we want in the future, so he mentioned that he did eventually want to get married and have children. It wasn't an awkward conversation at all. When we got to his place, I told him we would talk about a plan for getting together sometime this week and apologized (kind of) for being so busy (I'm VERY active with softball). Before he got out of my car, he asked if he could kiss me. Of course I said yes and we had a cute little kiss to cap the night.

    When I got home, I texted him to thank him again for dinner and said he was really sweet. He replied "pretty easy to be that way with you". I told him again that I was sorry I was so busy and felt bad we could only hang out a few hours before my game on Wednesday. He responded "No worries. I'd rather hang out a few hours than not at all. Plus we have this weekend".

    Yesterday, he sent me a snapchat pretty early in the afternoon. We chatted a bit here and there, but the conversation ended at 3pm. Again, no big deal. I don't need to stay in touch 24/7. But when I got off work at 6:15, I texted him asking him if he had walked the dog today. Nothing for an hour and a half.

    So, of course, my natural reaction as a female was that he was on another date. He told me that he thinks its rude to be on his phone while on a date so I'm thinking "Of course he's not answering me. He's probably with another girl". Then, after an hour and a half, he responds "Yes. I walk him several times a day. lol". So I text back "I was just going to suggest a walk ". And to that, I got no response.

    I know we have only been out a couple times, and I don't want to overthink this, but I REALLY like this guy and even though we haven't said we are exclusive, I'm not going out with anyone else. And based on his actions and the things he says, you would think he wouldn't be either. But I've seen him active on Tinder.

    Regardless, conversation kinda went back to the way it has been, but I can't get last night out of my head. Should I just back off?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    5
    lol back off? hell no.

    I'd make a bet that you're overthinking things.

    Even if he's gone on a few other dates, so what? that's what dating is all about. Us guys don't like to put our eggs in one basket, especially in the early stages.

    He obviously likes you and he's not overly aggressive in trying to get in bed with you so that shows me genuine interest. Just try to put last night behind you because I honestly believe it wasn't a big deal.

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