Ignoring her until she HATES me...

[4fresh]

After 3 years of total silence and just some times of awkward eye contact I started to try and get in touch with my highschool crush... I like her a lot and I think she likes me too... But I don't know how to talk opely with her and just at least become friends because all the contacts we had were just awkward, we both got shy and end up ignoring eachother just for the sake of not looking dumb and, because all of this ignoring part, we start somehow hating eachother. At least I feel like my self esteem is damaged and somehing is telling me that she feels the same.

Now a little bit of backstory...

I come after 2 bad relationships where I got involved emotionally and ended up beeing used and looking like an idiot and now I have a very hard time opening up to a girl if I feel like I start developing some feelings for her...

We are not friends and we just know eachother, and most of the time when I am around her I start to freak out and to sonehow hide this I pretend that she isn't there.
They were also times when I got more confident and talked to her but in this case I felt like she got very shy and all verbal contact got awkward... I mean, most of the time when we are in the same group she just hang around me whitout sayng nothing (like checking out my drawings that I show to my friends, looking very intrested) and when I try to talk to her she end the conversation or give me a short response. When we do eye contact we both imediatley look the other way and I ALLWAYS have this strange feeling that we both want to talk but is more confortable for us to just do nothing at all.
I tought that it will be easier for her to talk to me if we text a little bit on Facebook, we've got one or 2 conversation that went really good but after the awkard lack of talking continued. I usually ended up the texts and she had the last message, but the last time when we talked she just stoped messaging me out of nowhere. I tought it was rude, but I didn't reacted in any way...

The idea is that I started to feel stressed out and my self esteem got a little bit damaged by her cold attitude... Also I feel like this interaction got a little bit tensioned and she starts to hate me for my ignorance... But if I pursue her hard I have the feeling that she will reject me in purpose just to regaind her self esteem... She also don't hang out beside of school so talking to her in a private and also neutral environment is not an option...
I tried to do it, I just really tried to talk to her and we have a lot of stuff in common... But I don't want to be rejected either so I try to play it safe... What shoul i do girls?

[smackie9]

There is no easy way around this. If it's always awkward, then it really isn't going to work. Trust me on this, you will know when you are with the right person. You should be able to talk with them with ease, feel very comfortable, and get along (click) well. It won't matter if you are shy, there will be a girl out there that will make that insecurity go away. I think you will have a pretty good chance of meeting someone during summer vacation that will blow your mind away. I totally get what you are going through, but one thing I know is, it's better not to push or worry about things because it will only make things worse.