Girl with boyfriend..

[TheEvilJester]

I know this is not the advice you want to hear, but I wouldn't be giving good advice if I gave advice in which I didn't personally believe.... Unfortunately, from the way you are describing your situation, it seems to me like keeping your distance, or even breaking contact completely, is your best bet.

It would be entirely different if you could set aside your feelings for her and accept being just friends, since nothing else is currently possible. If you could honestly, legitimately do that, then I'd say stay friends with her. Because, Hell, you never do know. In time, maybe she'd become single, maybe you'd still be single too, and maybe that would be the opportunity for you to ask her out. Or, maybe you'd remain friends and eventually you'd find somebody else, but at least you'd still have her as a friend.

The thing is, it sounds like remaining her friend is not only keeping your desire for more alive.... it is also hurting you. Unfortunately, it sounds to me like you don't really want to just be her friend, you want to be more. Right now, though, that isn't possible because she has somebody. You don't know if that will last or if it will end tomorrow. You can't wait around forever, putting your life on hold, for something that may never happen. What if you waited around and months or years down the road, they wind up getting engaged?

I know this is so much easier said than done, but if being close to her is hurting too much because you only want to be even closer, than it may be for your own best to just keep your distance. Again, she's done nothing wrong, so it isn't like you should be rude to her or anything. But, you don't deserve the hurt that this situation brings you, nor do you deserve to be stuck in limbo. You could miss the person with whom you are really meant to be because you are stuck on one you cannot have.

Good luck to you.

[joshdavids1]

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[EasyDeuce]

I understand that breaking contact completely will be the best option, but there is a small problem. Her boyfriend and me share the same interests, so I would have to give up on my hobby to prevent seeing the girl. This is not what I want to do so probably it's best to just stay friends.

However, there is a thing worth mentioning ( I think ). I asked one of her close friends if this girl is a 'big flirt'. I wanted to know if she flirts with other guys too while in a relationship, just for the fun. He answered she really isn't that kind of girl. She hates it when other guys try to hook up with her or show signs of interests and she tries to ignore it. I did not recognize any of this in the situation I'm in right now. I mean, I can hardly speak to someone else and I can see her looking at me in the corner of my eyes.

There was this moment when she walked around the corner where I was talking to someone. When our eyes met there was that instant startled look quickly followed by a big smile and very friendly face saying 'Hi'. I noticed I looked startled for a very short amount of time too, ofcourse followed by a big smile and a 'Hi' as well. That startled look probably happens automatically when you see someone you really like unexpected, at least that's my reason.

I don't know, but this stuff prevents me from giving up on her.

[melancholia]

I think at this point, you do need to cut contact with her. Clearly you can't bring yourself to stop these feelings you have for her, and it's not fair to sit idly by and pretend like your intentions are strictly platonic when they aren't. Since you can't stop the feelings you have, you don't really have a choice but to cut contact. Otherwise nothing will ever change and you will lose your chance at meeting someone else, who is available for a relationship with you. Get yourself together. Move on, move forward, and give yourself the opportunity to meet new people so you can get over it.

[DatingAlpha]

I used to be in the same boat as you bro, "loving" a girl for years without much talking and just these sweet little things that makes me think she's flirting or interested..

It feels good sometimes but very horrible most of the times and we never dated. Then when she suddenly married this guy after a few months they met at a club, I woke up from the insanity and DECIDED to learn all I can about dealing with women.

I never fell into this "trap" again.

I hope you don't end up like me waiting for "your" girl to get married before realizing this craziness. You have it in you to know and do better with women.

Good luck!

[TheEvilJester]

As many of us have said, the fact is she has a boyfriend. IF you can see being just friends with her, then go ahead and do that. However, I have to say that, from what you say, it doesn't sound like you can do that and still be fair to yourself. It sounds like you want more than a friendship with her. It sounds like, by remaining her friend, you are only making it harder on yourself to move on and find somebody else. Honestly, you never know. Maybe her and her fella will eventually break up. IF that does happen, you could consider asking her out then if you happen to also still be single.

HOWEVER, you shouldn't wait around, putting your own life in limbo, just hoping that will happen. Maybe it never will. Maybe they are madly in love and destined to get married. Then you'd be waiting around and depriving yourself of finding the real thing because you are waiting on something that will never happen. If you two should wind up together, let fate allow that to become possible.

For now, it sounds like you would be better off removing her from your life. Again, you don't have to be mean or rude to her. She didn't do anything wrong. But, it likely is not good for you to remain her friend, because that is only keeping you stuck wanting more.

Good luck to you. I know how you are feeling right now. Believe me, in time it will pass. In time you will find somebody who will make you very happy. Maybe fate will decide that actually will be her, but if not, it will be somebody who will make you realize a million times over why you should have never waited for something that seemed unlikely.