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Thread: What next?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    9

    What next?

    Red flags?
    So, I met this guy on a vacation and after few months of staying in touch and talking/texting every day I flew to his state to visit him. We had three amazing days and I returned home. We kept talking every day and a month later he visited me. He stayed for 5 days and again it was great. As soon as he got back home, he asked me when would be the best time to get together again. All this sounds great but...
    We never talked about what we want and what we are looking for. We even had random people asking "are you guys in a long distance relationship." He replied "we are figuring it out". Now, I know what he said is true and I need to give it some time but the problem is these visits are very expensive and I am still in school. When he visits, or when I visit we split everything in half and, believe me, it ends up being a lot as we do all tourists things and we both try to make it enjoyable for each other. Now, when he suggested another trip that sounded great but, I cant afford trips every month. My question is: how to know this is going somewhere? What if he just enjoys visiting places with the girl he likes but doesnt want anything serious.
    I also expected him to pay more than just 50% of the expenses (he works, I am a student) and it now makes me doubt everything. Not that I am saying he should have paid but I need some sign that all this is worth it.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    14,110
    You have to talk to him. How can we even answer such a question when we don't know either of you and couldn't possibly tell you whats going on in his head?

    If he wants to see you again then you'll have to tell him that you can't afford to do all the things you've always done because you are a student and it takes a huge chunk out of your monthly budget to keep doing all those things.

    Have you had sex with him? If you have, I wonder why you wouldn't have had this talk with him either before you did the deed or at least afterwards had a "so what now" convo with him.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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