Regretful

[fruitcake2]

I began dating the love of my life in December of 2014. She is a few years younger than me, but I didn’t think it was much of a problem. She was kind, compassionate, and absolutely wonderful. Her only down side was her family. Our relationship got off to a rocky start because her parents found out we were messing around behind their backs. After a scolding they seemed to move on and we began our relationship. Over time I could tell my family was not too fond of my girlfriend, but I continued to date her. In the summer of 2015 I was about to go off to college and I again felt pressured to break things off with her. A former fling was going to be coming back into town that my family approves more of so I eventually said that things were just not going to work out. She was very hurt but we remained in contact. When the fling came to town, I of course messed around with her and then lied about it to my former girlfriend. Pretty soon we began dating again and she found out that I had lied. I eventually calmed her down but she was quite hurt and I don’t think she ever really trusted me that much again. I was still feeling pressure from my family that she wasn’t the one, and in November of 2015 I wrote a letter to the fling saying how much I missed her. I immediately regretted the decision to send the letter, but did not tell my girlfriend because I was afraid she would dump me. In February of 2016, we had sex and thought we got pregnant. She also found out about the letter that I had sent even though I told her I would no longer talk to this girl. As we are not married with no steady job this was not a good time for us. After many days we finally realized that we were not pregnant, and I decided that it was best to end the relationship again. It has been two months since we broke up and now I have seen the error of my ways. During these two months we agreed to take a break but wanted to remain faithful with each other. She had sex with one of my friends during this time and I was angry, but I responded with love. I realized that I was trying to do what my parents wanted and not what I wanted. I know I messed up very badly and have told her so since then. Her parents do not like me anymore and have said that I would never be allowed to date their daughter again. I have completely broken things off with this fling with the hopes that we could give it one more try. She just started a relationship with this new guy (he’s a great guy for her) and is trying to decide between him and I. I have started writing her love letters explaining my vision of the future for us. I have deeply expressed my regrets and how badly I screwed up. I want to make things right with this girl as I think we have both have energy left to give to our relationship. I will be full of regrets for the rest of my life, but know that I do not deserve to be with someone like her. I just want to hug her and tell her that I will never hurt her again. I know sorry can never fill in her pain, but what do you guys think? Am I ever fit to be loved again by her? I can post pictures of the letters I will send her if you’d like.

[smackie9]

paragraphs please............