Continuation from my last thread- is he giving me mixed signals? LONG :) plz advice

[Tonixx]

So this is a continuation from the previous discussion. I ended up texting that guy.

I texted him and discussed him coming up an how I didn't want him to make the hour long drive just to see me. Only that he should come up if he could see both me and his friends, to make the drive worth while. His friends ended up wanting to hang out, so he told me he was coming down. We hung out and talked on the couch like the last time. Mentioned how I wrote something really sweet in his yearbook. He was touching me every now and then on the knee. Trying to make some jokes :p. He was looking at me funny when I was trying to groove out to the music. I said it’s better than me wagging my fingers (then demonstrated it), and he said oh that’s cute. After 1.5 hours, I wanted him to leave to try and get some homework done. I told him to text me to make sure he walked to his friends safely. I then told him I missed him and he said he would come back.

So he did and said he would leave in 40 mins so I could do my homework. We talked longer, lots of laughs, listening to music. He was going to meet his friends at a bar, so I offered him some of the alcohol I had. He did 1 shot with me. In the last 10 mins, I was talking about how I was worried about getting accepted anywhere for grad school. He said I would be fine. And I kept insisting that I wouldn’t. He leaned it, repeated himself and kissed me. But I backed away because I felt confused. I also said “well someone’s brave now”, jokingly. And he said he just lost all bravery. And I said noooooo. I drew back and leaned in repeatedly for a few more kisses with him. I then asked him to leave so I could get more homework done.

He then texted me and said “I apologize. I shouldn’t have came back.” And I said no, why??. He then said he felt like a big idiot. And that his lips must have been disgusting. I told him no, and that I was just confused. He said he thoroughly enjoyed making out (from the last time he visited, 4 days prior) and would have liked to do that more. And he said something about needing that liquid courage. I told him I just didn’t know if he felt weird. He told me he actually felt pretty comfortable and that he was just probably just being awkward or something. Eventually he said, “I wish I had made a move right when I walked in then”. I then said, I didn’t know if he was kissing me because he just drank and because I was right in front of him. He replied “I’m pretty offended by that. That’s not how I roll.” I apologized and all was well for the night. I texted him 2 days after to make sure he wasn’t too offended by what I said (he wasn’t). He said maybe he would visit next week because he got a day off of work. He also said who knows if his friends (that live near me) want to see him that much. He said jokingly “well I wouldn’t want to make the trip for just you ya know :p”, because I always express guilt for driving just to see me. We texted a teeny more, him just telling me hanging with me is much better than work. He then texted me the day after (Friday) to see if I was participating in a drinking fest here in my town. Only a few more texts on that day happened, not conveying much. He hasn’t replied since my last text. And I know he is busy with work, but I also know he is snapchatting other people. And viewing my stories.

I feel confused because it seems like mixed signals. But not all guys like texting and his phone is a hunk of crap with charging.
But:
- he says he will buy me dinner or something
- offers to sleep on the couch instead of in a bed with me
- willing to drive an hour just to see me and spend time with me on the few days he gets off of work (50-60hr work week)
- felt awkward around me/nervous and needed “liquid courage” to kiss me
- tells me he doesn’t usually hookup
- tells me about his plans for the month
Then he
- has time to snap other people
- has not replied to my text and barely talks to me outside of visiting me

His offer seems to still stand for Tuesday, but I do have feelings for him (ever since highschool, 5+ years ago) and don’t want to get too far in if this is just a friends with benefits thing. I feel like if he was genuinely interested that he would be trying to talk to me more. I know not all guys are the same with texting, and I know he could be snap chatting with people that are just his friends, but if he liked me, he would make time for me and more of an attempt to talk to me, no? Is he just telling me what I want to hear to get some sort of intimacy?

Not sure if I should just tell him no for Tuesday

[melancholia]

To me, it sounds more like a FWB thing, and not a real relationship. At the same time, some of his behavior is strange, but some of yours is, too. It sounds like both of you are sending mixed signals. I understand feeling like you need to act aloof so you seem cool, but if you put on that front too heavily, it comes across as disinterested. It sounds like he may want more from you, but it does sound more like he wants to hook up and not that he sees it as more than that. I could be wrong though. What is it that you want out of this?