I really want to get back together and work things out, is it possible?

[vegeta183]

Me and this girl have been seeing each other for almost a month now, the other day i kissed her for the first time and she turned her cheek so i knew she didnt want to kiss. After this she avoided hanging out with me or talking to me as much and so since i couldnt meet up with her we had a convo on fb and it went like this:

Me:
i meann id rather talk about it in person, but whatever. its been bothering me ever since thursday, I just wanted to ask you what you think about me? cuz like i said i really like you andd just wanted to ask you if you felt the same way

Her:
To be honest... I did feel the same way but it was your decisions in life that made me change my mind. Im sorry. I wanted to give you another chance 'cause you're a nice guy but I cant deal with it

Me:
what decisions exactly? honestly ive been really trying to work on self improvement, forcing myself to study way more than i have b4,ill be graduating and done school on wednesday, ive been exercising a lot more than i used to, and i wanna get a job as soon as some of that stuff is worked out

Her:
Theres a lot and I cant tell you all of them. I know you're working on it but even on the very 1st time we met... I have told you we're completely different. I hate waiting and there were times you made me wait but I didnt say anything. And even on the last time we met. I had to wait even after you knew I was tired from work but I didnt give a **** because I thought you'd show some care but no. You didnt. And it's bad because I expected a lot from you.

Me:
im really sorry about that, i felt bad when it happened, i had a crazy sleep schedule and just slept in a bit longer than i expected, and almost everytime i have to do something thats gonna make you late ill ask you if its okay like when i went to the bank right b4. i really feel like we should just talk and work some of this stuff out. do you think its possible at all? im definitely willing to make a serious effort to keep you happy

Her: Dont worry about me. Im okay. Just focus on your exams and job hunt for now.

Me: okay, after wednesday just let me know sometime when your free, and maybe we could give this one last chance? ill be able to worry a lot less knowing that, i just want us to talk for awhile

her: Dont make it hard for me Sam. I cant see you worry about the shittiest reason which is me being needy. Just go ahead and do your thing. Focus on your studies and self improvement. I also dont know if its gonna work out 'cause I am considering moving back to Toronto soon and cant decide if I have to leave someone behind

me: its okay with me, your not being needy, everyone has their own things they want in a relationship, and i would never want to hold you back if you were planning on moving to toronto, but its still a maybe, cant we just deal with that when the time comes? ive even considered moving for work a lot of times. the music scene in windsor isnt the best.

Her: Yeah but I cant have a relationship with a guy who cant have time for his partner. Like you would be busy with video games, studies, job hunt and Im all by myself. Before I knew you I have been dealing with all my problems, happy moments and **** alone and it didnt change even after I met and knew you. Like Im still the same girl who gets lost in this world. You dont need me. You just need company.

Me: if anything i wanted to spend more and more time with you, i just didnt want you to get bored of me and didnt want to bug you to hangout way too much cuz i figured you were tired from work, video games is just a hobby i can throw that aside whenever, ill be working soon but thats about it, and studies will be done after wednesday, im really confident im going to do well and ill be done completely after wednesday, if theres anything i want in a relationship with someone, ive been dealing with a ton of problems b4 i knew you as well and i really want you to be the one person i can say these problems too, and i wanna listen to all of yours and do whatever i can to help you. if you really believe theres no hope for us at all then okay ill be able to move on, but i really dont want to, i like you and your someone that makes me feel relaxed, happy, comfortable and i dont really want to let you go, i feel like i was unaware of how bad things actually were and we just need to work on being more open with each other. okay this is the last thing im gonna say, im sorry that im making things hard for you but its just because i care about you a lot. If there are any problems you have with me, you just have to tell me and i`d be more than willing to make things better. I can promise to never be a minute late ever again, and if you wanted me to spend more time with you, then id be more than happy to hangout with you every single day, and if we cant hangout in person id still to just love to sit around and text or msg you or whatever, also i just wanna say thanks for telling me all this and talking to me, it really means a lot

Her: Dont feel sorry. I know it was my fault. You may have felt I kept your hopes up high but it was also hard for me to say things I didnt like 'cause I dont wanna break your heart. As much as possible I wanted to just keep it cool with you. It's just that I cant force myself to feel the same way. You're such a nice guy and given that I cant see you have a hard time dealing with all of my ****.

Me: You sound like you're pretty convinced,and its okay to "break my heart" IDC id rather us just say how we are feeling, and i know its really hard sometimes that's definitely the thing i struggle with in life the most. I would love to do everything i can to help you deal with whatever is going on , im sure we both got our own problems to deal with, good luck with everything

Her:Can you forgive me?

Me:Yes, im not mad. just disappointed a little because i wish things were different

Her: I know but things will get better. You gotta do what you need to do. Study for your exams and continue in improving yourself. Dont feel sorry about something you cannot change.

Me: Okay, will do.


And thats the end of the convo, kind of a long read, does it seem like theres any chance of the 2 of us getting (back) together or does it seem like the spark is completly gone? This girl means a lot to me and is really special and I believe that we can work a lot of these issues out if she would give me another chance. Some of her issues were that i wasnt spending enough time with her, even though id spend at least like 2 days a week with her on average and was more than willing to spend more but she was busy with work and seemed tired. Another thing was i dont think i showed her that i cared about her enough and she started to feel like i didnt care even though i just kept a lot of it inside. Another thing is i wasnt helping her with her problems simply cause i didnt know they existed, now that i do i`d be more than willing to do everything i can to tackle them, i really wanna make things good with her , show her that i really care and am more than willing to help her out with anything she needs and try to rebuild our relationship but it doesnt seem like she wants to. Do i have any hope at all?

[Gladimeir15]

As long as you are in constant communication, there is still a chance that you can work it out.

[melancholia]

You can't take care of another person and their problems, they have to do that on their own. It honestly doesn't sound like she wants to continue the relationship. It sounds like she struggled with building a connection with you, for whatever reason, and she didn't want to continue forcing feelings that weren't there. She repeatedly said she wants you to focus on her own thing, and she literally said she can't force herself to feel the same way you do. Your pleas to keep things together sound desperate, and it sounds like she has a lot of emotional/mental stress to deal with and she can't handle a relationship right now. I think your best bet is to give her some space for now. Don't bombard her with incessant messages and attempts to get back together. If she wanted to be with you, she would be. I think it's cool that you are into her and that you feel like you can help her with her issues, but trust me when I say that unless she deals with her own problems on her own, your relationship won't work out. It's one thing to stick by someone when they are going through a hard time, but you were only dating for one month and it sounds like she is trying to let you down softly.