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Thread: I matched with a coworker on tinder, after meeting in person.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2016
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    I matched with a coworker on tinder, after meeting in person.

    Where to begin...

    There was an office meeting/ice breaker about two weeks ago. I noticed a new face, and made some small talk for a while. We got along, and had a really good conversation for a few hours. I didn't see her after that, because she works in a different part of the building kinda far from me. That was until I was swiping on tinder a couple days later, and noticed her. I thought "What the hell?" and swiped right. (meaning I liked her.) It was an instant match, but I set my phone down and didn't message her. It wasn't even a minute before I got a "Hey!" We texted a little bit, but she said she had to go to sleep and gave me her number to text her in the morning.

    I want to move in to the next segment by saying... Everything about this woman to this point has been amazing. She's funny, intelligent, beautiful, and also enjoys running. I got out of a pretty long relationship a couple years ago, and have been on/off dating random people VERY briefly. Some of my friends joked about tinder, and about a month ago I got one. I've had no success until this point. By that I mean I haven't found anyone I'm interested in.

    Anyway, we start texting. She gives very fast, but small replies. 90% of her replies are "yes", "no", or "cool!" I took it as she just doesn't like texting. I asked her if she wanted to get dinner. (Our office has a cafeteria place where everyone eats, because it's so cheap and good.) She says yes, and we have a pretty good dinner. We continue texting, and I finally bring up something non work related. It was the new Captain America movie. I told her I was excited to see it, and she told me she had already seen it, but she "wouldn't mind seeing it again." So I asked her if she wanted to see it this weekend. She said she was busy this weekend, but she wouldn't mind next weekend. I thought this was good, and that I was in. So I continued to talk about other stuff, and finally no reply from her. (I'm still getting mostly one word replies still.) I think whatever, and go to sleep. I wake up, and while I'm at work I get a text from her. We start texting again, except she stops replying after only a few texts. It's almost dinner break time, and I ask her if she wants to grab dinner. She says she can't, because of work. I think whatever, and eat dinner alone. No reply till later in the day, and we text a little bit about work. I bring up hiking, and no reply til the next morning, and I get a "hey!"

    Essentially the same thing happens for a few days in a row. (Ask if she wants to grab dinner, and she can't. We text about work. I bring up something else, and I don't get a reply till the morning.) Now I'm again sitting at no reply for most of the day, and I'm thinking about giving up on this.

    I don't want her replying to me just because were somewhat co-workers, and it would be awkward not to. I'm also a little over her in the company, and maybe she doesn't want to be rude. I'm stuck, because she's probably the first person in a while I'm genuinely interested in. I want to think, because she texts me every morning that she's interested. I just can't shake this feeling that its nothing. I understand that dating people from work probably isn't a good idea, but I'd only see her a few times a year at most. It would be pretty easy to avoid seeing her. My work also has nothing wrong with people dating.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
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    This is not what you want to hear, but as soon as I read "Im also a little over her in the company" my advice is STOP! I work I H.R., and although you may think your work "has nothing wrong with people dating" then you should take a course on sexual harassment. This could easily become a lawsuit that your company would most likely lose. My advice is to go back to Tinder, or Match, or any other site, and keep swiping. What you HAVE found here is that you can and will be attracted to someone again. Its all good from here! Just drop this one immediately.
    .... have you dropped her yet? I did say IMMEDIATELY!

  3. #3
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    May 2016
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    Quote Originally Posted by lovesickheart View Post
    This is not what you want to hear, but as soon as I read "Im also a little over her in the company" my advice is STOP!
    Trust me when I say it's more of a status thing. The best way to compare it, without giving out too much, is that she's like a janitor and I'm a teacher. I'm not even remotely related to her work. Its a huge building, and we don't work anywhere near each other. I understand the possibility of a sexual harassment complaint etc. BELIEVE ME. I've thought it over, and I'm just going to continue to not reply.

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