I need help please

[frenchmaid1969]

I have been in a relationship with this guy for 2 years and 6 month about.... prier to this I was in a relationship for 24 years (abuse physically and mentally)

My bf was working in the city for a while but no business so he apply for an other company... this company goes out of town for work so since this December he's been going out of town so 21 days off and 5 days in... the problem is that he drink lots there... sometime he drink so much and he know I don't like it so he wont answer his phone...
They have a house that the boss rent and there are like 2 peoples per house but then at night they get together and party...

Yesterday I txt him and because he had a big meeting well I ask him what it was about.. he said to call him at night because it was too long to txt so I did I call him at 10:30 my time so its 9:30 his... but I guess he was drunk well I know he was drunk for sure because I heard all his conversation with his friend.. because when I called him instead of hang up the phone he answer it so I listen...

At first the conversation was talking about business and stuff because he want to leave that place and open his own business.. and he's French so I know when he's very drunk he's very loud and annoying .. but I could hear him blabbing stuff... and then all of the sound I heard from him ... oh ya sex is just sex its nothing ... and I cold hear all the other guys talking not too sure about what but then my bf start screaming hey next turn around we rent a limo or hummer and some guy goes no an rv with like seat that we can lay down and we gone get some coke and girls.... and them my bf start laughing and goes oh ya sex is sex its nothing and I got a 25 years old and omg and start laughing again...

I know that 4 years ago before he was with me he rented a limo with a bunch of people and they party in there so I dunno if that what the 25 years old girl he referred to was on that time but then when he mention that some guy ask him so does your wife know about that and I did not hear who he was talking to... and then I heard some guy said that well you gone have to make a alibi for your wife again I dunno who he was talking to ...

All I know is that I got lots of anger inside and sadness..... I dunno if I should confront him he only coming back on the 15 th but then then next day we leave in holiday until the 30 and then on the 2 of july he leave and this is turn around when he want to rent a limo and stuff.

My friend told me that even if I txt him and ask him what was all about he can just say it was guy talk I would not do that to you ect ect... and if he does not want me to know he will just lied.. so they told me to wait if I ever find out and have poof then I can act on it... but I did have proof I heard him saying but I, not 100% sure ....

I need some tips because I'm out of my mind sad and upset...
Thanks everyone

[hazey daisy]

Asking him or talking to him about it will not change anything. He will just deny whatever and carry on with what makes him happy. IMO I wouldn't even call this a relationship. If it were me, I would just end it. You would be much happier moving on...he isn't fulfilling any expectations....he is a waste of time. It's OK to walk out of a situation if it's not working out.

[frenchmaid1969]

puff... I find this very hard I have no gust .... I broke off a 25 years relationship with lots of physical and mental abuse... I taught that I find someone who love me.
I don't get it .... IM not a stupid person... but why would he tell me that he loves me and that not too long ago even tell me that he's saving money to buy a house ect and ever married me some day wish I will not consider anymore after what I heard.

It eat me alive all of this... I don't want to talk about it before the holiday because I want to see my family and if we argue he will sell my ticket. I don't know if he has cheat on my or no I know that sometime men who get drunk with other men then say stuff like this to impress or think the better then other and I know for a fact that him when he's drunk he talk lots of bullshit... but I don't know what to think anymore...

I really don't get it if he does not want to be me with me well tell me instead of going to do stuff like this and then end up giving me some kind of disease...
I don't know if I ask him has he ever cheat on my if he's honest enough to tell me the truth

[hazey daisy]

This isn't about you, this is about him, his drinking issues and his poor behavior. Talk is just talk. Anyone can say they love you and are saving money....you never go by what they tell you, you go by their actions, their behavior, their personality. Actions speak louder than words. Anyone who drinks excessively usually leads to making poor choices like cheating. He has you around because he can control you and he knows, just by your past, you are weak and easily manipulated. In order to get him is to find physical proof, like girls on his phone list, text messages, emails, credit card receipts that show he has paid for hotels, fancy dinner, flowers, lingerie, etc.

Obviously your gut is telling you something, so you better listen and find that proof.

[red romeo]

i can explain all day but its not what you really want to hear. you just want to understand. to understand him. to understand why. to doubt yourself and seem like this is over imagination. he will change. life will be good. i don't have to think about this right now. and he's sweet to me he tells me he loves me i want someone to love me. i don't want to be alone. this will not make you happy. to understand him. to understand why. ultimately it all comes comes down to understandings oneself who you are and why

theses may not be exact and I don't know you but i'm not far off am I?