Does my friend like me?

[Kates David]

She did n`t ask you for space, as in "space", she said that because you were not emotionally engaging. You should not have given her "space"/insulted her further, you should simply have apologized. Perhaps you are still responding on the level of no commitment over your feelings, that would be "too much" even from the very first text. Perhaps she does n`t know because she does n`t know if you`ll make human response.

[Cali_Love]

I know I messed up & im really not good at reading between the lines. But I apologized to her, we don't talk that often anymore although she texts everyday here & there. She deserves to know the truth & once she's not busy anymore & she has time to talk I will let her know how I feel & of course I'm not expecting for us to be in a relationship. But she really deserves to know the truth & if she decides she wants to stay away from me then be it.

[Kates David]

She`s not busy, she`s texting you. It`s only about you, that you refuse to text her how you feel. What is "the truth"?

[Cali_Love]

She told me that she's very busy & it's not a good time for her right now so I don't know. The truth is I like her but I'm afraid of rejection & I'm also afraid that she likes me I'm not sure if I want to be "in a relationship" with her. But at the same time I don't want to see her with someone else. & im just confused.

[Kates David]

She`s too busy to do what, she`s already done everything? It`s not about her doing something, it`s only ever been about you doing something. Now text her everything which you`ve just told us. You owe her this, and have done so for a considerable period of time, you owe her honesty, and you owe it to yourself as well. Do n`t change the wording, send it as it stands. Ask yourself, do you enjoy her company? If so go on to offer both your company, and your friendship.

[Cali_Love]

I told her & she just doesn't know how to react but I'm just giving her space, also she just started a new job she forgot to tell me she's working with this guy that she used to like or still like. I'm staying away & save myself a heartbreak.

[Cali_Love]

Also, she kept telling me that she doesn't like him and she just didn't tell me bcoz she doesn't like him and that he's only a coworker but I told her that it's none of my business and that it doesn't matter to me anymore. I just want to keep my distance.

[Kates David]

Then you`ve just told her that she is dumped. Why have you so suddenly changed your mind about her? - Faint heart never won fair maiden, not ever! - It`s not about your feelings, it`s about her feelings... If you are not prepared to get hurt you`ll never get close enough to anyone. This risk comes as standard.

[Cali_Love]

I just feel like we're getting older & she deserves to have an easier maybe better life with a guy & not me plus she's straight I can't turn her into something she's not although she hasn't given me answer if she likes me or not. & idk if she's the kind of person I want to be with, I tried to see her for what she is & not see her out of my feelings for her. It just feels like I'm the only one who's always there for her all the time, she's not really there for me all the time just sometimes. It already hurts me to just be friends with her so to be honest I'm not saving myself any heart breaks. I don't even know if I can still be friends with her. I just want to forget about her & even when I tell her I need to detach myself from her she wouldn't give me the space that I want. She texts me like nothing happened like I didn't ask for space for me to be able to move on with my life without her. I really just want to forget about her I don't want to worry about the guys she talks to etc. she's very good looking & someone's always there ready to be with her & she deserves better than myself.

[Kates David]

I would just explain it all to her as you have just done so here, and then block her calls. It is n`t going to be easy, but this is the most logical approach. If it is n`t easy then you are not her friend. Of course, she may not even be capable of genuine friendship at this time in her life.

[Cali_Love]

I finally got a straight answer from her & she said she's not into girls & thats fine but she doesn't want anything to change between us. But that's just easy for her. She wants to still be friends and talk everyday which I told her is hard for me to do but she insists on being friends I told her to give me some time but she's just taking this lightly like its gonna be easy for me.

[Kates David]

You are both not satisfied with her friendship for you, and uncomfortable in a platonic relationship with her. You are also of the opinion that she would be happier with somebody else. If you genuinely care about her explain everything and then communicate no further, apart from maybe still remembering to send her something on special occasions. I would, and something really nice. Once you are over her you may wish to reconsider your position. How you are treating her is the most important single factor here.
Balanced/entirely genuine mutual friendships seem to be a rare commodity, taking it that the first party is giving all. As far as this is concerned it can be a case for nothing, or for compromise. I would rather suffer and compromise than have no experience of (so called) friendship at all.
If you continue with her as an emotional reck of a friend this is likely to be experienced as extremely off putting for her, and may eventually end your relationship/friendship for all time. The knowledge that you feel more is fine, but the experience is not likely to be. Under these circumstances genuine love tends to be experienced far more in terms of simple lust. Good job you are not thirty years her senior, for trying to prove your love genuine under those circumstances would likely be entirely impossible. It is very over powering to be physically loved by a friend, and most of us, likely all of normal mind, would n`t wish for it. Just to confuse the matter, the established church tells us that love/genuine love can do no wrong? - Possibly, but only in a genuine world.

[Cali_Love]

I truly love her & it hurts to be her friend. I've been keeping myself busy to get her out of my mind. But she would text me to tell me how her day was and send me pictures of herself & it's making it harder for me to move on. I want to be there for her as a friend and not try to see her actions out of my feelings for her. Whenever she tells me she misses me, I always remind myself that she misses me as a friend. When she tells me she loves me I have to remind myself that it's only as a friend. & it hurts every time I have to remind myself that she only wants me as a friend. I don't know what to do anymore. It hurts me more that the guys she's been with all treated her like crap & it hurts me so much to see her go through that. But I know I'm not what she wants.

[Kates David]

You are what she needs, probably are what she wants, and perhaps you are only not what she thinks that she wants. Do n`t blame her for these circumstances of the two of you for we are not responsible for our emotions, only ever our actions. She may realize what it is that she genuinely wants as that grows ever closer to what she needs. Meanwhile, do what you can, and it will be very hard, to adapt yourself to experiencing greater satisfaction from close friendships. Ideally, they should not be considered "only". Romance has but a single day whereas friendship may endure the whole journey. Love without the emotion has some distinct advantages over love with the emotion - Our natural desire is to own, but ownership knows nothing of genuine love. If she means this much then recreate yourself such that you may truly appreciate what you`ve got. What you `ve got is infinitely more than the guys behind these short lived and empty romances. Romance is the nearest place to hate, genuine love at the very furthest. The love is no longer double edged, it is single and of gold. She loves you as a friend, there is actually no more genuine way that one can be loved. Be only grateful for you have something which the majority of lovers shall never be so fortunate as to experience. Forget the hype, it`s false! She sounds like a really nice girl.

[Cali_Love]

Thank you for your response I really appreciate it and take all your advices.

I love her even though she doesn't want to be with me I truly believe that I genuinely love her. I am trying to ignore the romantic feelings I have for her so I can focus on our friendship. & I understand and respect her decision. But why does her actions speak so much louder than her words? Even when I'm trying to not read into her words I can't help but think that she likes me. Today we were talking (we're back to how we were before I admitted my feelings for her) & I told her that I will start dating soon & that I have to move on & it was silent, her voice didn't sound happy anymore she didn't speak then she just said "if that's what you want" & later on she kept talking to me about us moving in together & that she just wants us to stay in the same house & have a dog together. She gained about 10-15lbs & she said that if we lived together she wouldn't let herself go like that, & that she would take better care of herself. I mean she knows I'm trying hard to move on and still be there for her. But this is so hard. I know I need to move on & since she already said she doesn't like me I cannot be reading into her words and actions. & I know the easiest way is to not talk to her for awhile but I want to make sure that I'm there for her whenever she needs me.