Does my friend like me?

[Kates David]

In my opinion, and more so under the circumstances of your current relationship, your proposed approach is likely to be experienced as both deeper, and more genuine love than by way the alternative road. She already knows how much you would wish to hold her, and she also knows now that your love for her is well beyond any love you may have for yourself. Sleeping in the same bed is the ultimate test for how genuine be ones love under these circumstances, so your plan is absolutely on the mark. Every other uncaring guy would try and jump on top of her, so don`t go there even in love. Actions are everything, and especially where they concern self denial to meet the others needs. This is the ultimate test for your emotions, but you sound very well prepared, and get through it and I believe that it shall prove very therapeutic in both the short and longer term. It`s an exercise in emotional control, and thus in being both stronger and healthier emotionally, perhaps eventually able to happily deal where others cannot go. Think prospective, think "only" the very ultimate friendship (imagine that she is under age), not love.
My lodger has just tried to stitch me up to the tune of £1000 with false information. She is genuinely sorry for the circumstances of her mind which took her there, and so the incident is forgotten, and our friendship is untainted. Meanwhile, I am now aware of what she can do.

[Cali_Love]

Overall I believe we had a great 4 days together. We didn't have an itinerary which is great bcoz we got to do whatever she wanted. It wasn't romantic but it wasn't super friendly it was somewhere in between. We were in the city then some of the days we were in a peaceful & quiet place outside the city & the first night when we slept on the same bed like I said I was all the way on the other side, the next few days felt like she wanted me to hold her so I did, but nothing more than that & I realized that the days I was holding her to sleep she woke up about 2-3 hours later than when I sleep on the other side & like I always say her actions speak louder than words bcoz as much as I didn't want to read between the lines I knew she felt the same about me. But she's the kind of person who cares about what other people think. Plus her mom's been warning her about me, her mom told her that she doesn't want her to be romantically involved with me. I guess even her mom knows how she feels about me. Her mom doesn't really see me so the only thing she sees are the emotions coming from her daughter. Also, I'm not vocal about my feelings & it's been hard on her I know, but this weekend I tried my best to make her feel appreciated. I thanked her for everything she's done for me & I apologized for the mistakes I've made. The only thing that ruined our vacation was the last day I couldn't help it anymore, her guy coworker has been texting her all 4 days we were together & I tried to keep myself together but it was just too hard for me. She told me to not be jealous that he's cute but she doesn't like him. But I just couldn't help it and I let my emotions take over the last night she was with me. I just sat there in silence it was just too painful for me to see her talking/flirting with other people. I wouldn't be surprised if she ends up dating this guy but that's none of my business. I gave it everything I had the last 4 days & if that's not enough well that's all I have to give. I guess the only thing that's left for me to do is to move on. I blocked her on all of my social media accounts & I blocked her phone number. I know the next couple of weeks will be hard for me but this is the best thing to do. Before she left she took photos especially for me & printed them out & she told me that she wants me to think about her all the time. She just keeps playing with my head & I can't have that in my life. It's only a yes or a no , "this is my heart & I won't allow the disrespect"

[Kates David]

That was psychopathic of her! She was deliberately undermining your feelings, and no doubt because you had been doing so well until that time. You did n`t let your end down because her actions were calculated for maximum impact. You were able to deal with normal circumstances of emotional indecision, that`s exceptional, and no genuine human being can hope to deal with having one`s feelings undermined deliberately. Perhaps she is a psychopath, for that is a significant psychopathic trait, both that and the way she emotionally controls people. My best guess is that she is a psychopath, but in any event she is not a person which you should even entertain as a friend. If I`m right she is in the business of destroying people. Alternatively, she is trying to repair serious damage done herself by having been treated for extended periods in the exact same way that she treats you now. In which case she may be/may be becoming sociopathic.

[Cali_Love]

So I blocked her phone number from my phone, however my MacBook is not letting me block her so I'm getting her text messages on my MacBook when I'm using it. She's been sending me text messages I do not respond she even sent me a picture of herself. The thing with her is that she keeps texting me then once she has my attention she just starts ignoring me. So I am not giving in this time. I know the games she play. I'm not even considering being with her as that's not the life I choose to live. But it's just hard to move on and let her go we've been friends for a very long time. But I do believe that we are in an unhealthy relationship. I have a big project coming for me at work next month & it will take a year to complete that project so I will focus on that & keep myself busy. She's just not worth all the stress, pain & time anymore. But of course it's easier said than done.

[Kates David]

She is constantly feeding of your emotional response. The only way that she can possibly hope to mend is with your emotional response removed/you totally unavailable to her. She may then eventually come to realize/experience that these other guys actually mean nothing to her, and that you are the only person that she can ever love/did ever love. Taking it that she was using you for therapy, in order to stabilize her mind and love herself again (the alternative road might have led to her suicide), she may want you back before this love (love for herself which you provided her with) reverts back to inadequacy and hate. Otherwise, she may be demonstrating a psychopathic trait, and in which case is beyond any help/change. For the short term at least refuse to believe anything which she tells you, but for the longer term watch her well. She might well change, she might come to genuinely love you/treat you like somebody she genuinely loves/realize that she only ever loved you, and then she might fall a very long way, perhaps even all the way, without you there. Do n`t wait for her though, get on with your own life.

[Cali_Love]

I haven't been talking to her but I do see her text messages & she was just letting me know that she's always thinking about me & all that. I truly love her but I don't know why her words don't mean anything to me anymore. Or I'm just trying hard to stay away from her & not letting her in. I still am not responding to her. It just feels like she only wants me there when she needs to feel better. But thanks for all your advice. I appreciate it & it truly helps me to see her for what/who she really is.

[Kates David]

Now focus not on her, but on meeting somebody else. You have finally escaped her grasp when you manage to stop reading those texts, and focusing on meeting somebody else, somebody normal, must steer your focus away.

- - - Updated - - -

Now focus not on her, but on meeting somebody else. You have finally escaped her grasp when you manage to stop reading those texts, and focusing on meeting somebody else, somebody normal, must steer your focus away. Yes, she is needy, for you, for anybody, you have got it, what you`ll get will never be any more than those mere words on a screen. She is not a relationship, she is just an experience.

[Cali_Love]

She called my landline she said she just wanted to see if I'm okay. She wants to go on a vacation for 3 weeks just me and her & I told her it might not be a good idea. & she apologized for not being able to love me the way I want her to. But I told her it's not her fault & that she shouldn't be sorry. I'm still not talking to her she just caught me off guard by calling my house I didn't know it was her. It's so hard to move on but I just really want to forget about her.