Does my friend like me?

[Cali_Love]

Hello Everyone,

I will try to make this as short as possible, as I posted earlier I am a girl and I'm starting to fall in love with my friend (she's a girl & this is the first time I've ever felt like this towards a girl).

She asked me twice already if I like her as more than a friend & I told her no bcoz I was afraid. Sometimes she tells me "you have more game than all these guys that are trying to get with me"

Although I haven't told her how I feel we joke around about it a lot, I would tell her she's very pretty & that I get jealous when she's talking to guys then we laugh it off.

She texts/calls me about her whereabouts & always lets me know when she gets home bcoz she says she doesn't want me to worry.

But it's 50/50 with her, sometimes she flirts back sometimes she doesn't. Sometimes when I tell her you're my baby she ignores it sometimes she likes it. I'm so confused idk if she likes me, so I can tell her how I feel.


Any advice would be appreciated& any advice on how to tell her how I feel.

[breathe123]

Would it ruin the friendship if you admitted your feelings? Is she straight as well? She has to already sense you like her more than friends from comments & way she acts with you.

You could go the straightforward route.

~ This may sound weird but I think I am getting feelings for you, what do you think? Does that bother you? How do you feel? Just openly discuss it. Only thing is if she is only being a flirt/friend is she type to pull away when you confess?

[Cali_Love]

Would it ruin the friendship if you admitted your feelings? Is she straight as well? She has to already sense you like her more than friends from comments & way she acts with you.

You could go the straightforward route.

~ This may sound weird but I think I am getting feelings for you, what do you think? Does that bother you? How do you feel? Just openly discuss it. Only thing is if she is only being a flirt/friend is she type to pull away when you confess?

1. i am not sure if it would ruin our friendship, hopefully if or when I do tell her the timing is right & that way she wouldn't pull away?
2. Yes, she's straight she's always had bfs. But then again so have I .... (she's single right now)

I feel like she already knows how I feel I'm not sure if she wants me to confirm it. I mean one time I called her and I completely forgot what I was gonna ask her and she just said "it's okay I know you just want to hear my voice, I understand" but she laughs it off again.

Sometimes she tells me "I know you just love to watch me sleep" & she lets me cuddle with her at night ( I just moved so I live 300 miles away we usually stay at the hotel) her mom doesn't really want us to sleep together she just has that feeling that we're more than just friends.

[melancholia]

I agree with breathe123 that you should be honest and straight forward with her. If it ruins your friendship over it, then she isn't really a friend to you. Even if she doesn't feel the same way toward you, she should at least be respectful and courteous to your feelings. It definitely sounds like there is more going on between you, but you will never know unless you ask.

[Cali_Love]

You're right, it shouldn't ruin our friendship & if it does then she's not a real friend & I guess she's not worth it either. Thanks for the advice

[Kates David]

You have admitted to your feelings already, you both have. She appears to be as fond of you as you are of her. Because feeling more than friendship for another girl is still considered a big deal by family and friends, and therefore likely the two of you, you might expect that she would not always reciprocate your flirting so easily. The two of you already know, and between you your relationship will be steered in that direction which you collectively wish to travel.- It sounds pretty good already! Words are not the big deal, but feelings are, and whereas one can use any words that one chooses, one cannot use any old feelings.

[Cali_Love]

She appears to be as fond of you as you are of her

I hope so, I've like her for about 8 years now, the last bf she had, she asked me first if I was okay with it and I told her "yes, if he makes you happy then go for it" I tried to stay away from her, then they broke up and I was the first person she called to let me know that it was over between them. I know I was afraid then & I didn't try my best to be with her or to tell her how I feel. But now I don't want her to find someone new without me telling her how I feel, although she told me she will let me know if she starts liking someone, that way I don't get hurt(mostly shocked) if she finds a new bf. & I told her I don't even want to think about her being with anyone else but me (but of course I said this in a joking way) & she said that she's gonna try not to hurt me. She talks about moving in with me if she doesn't get married.

[Jffs24]

How old are you both that her mom would have any input on whether you sleep in same bed or not, are you both over 18? If so, is your business.

[Cali_Love]

Yes, we're over 18 mid 20s but she's helping out her mom for now so she won't be moving out till maybe next year

[Kates David]

For those of you that have these feelings for other girls, and I believe that it`s common, though more often transient, you`d expect that the experimental phase would be, well, perhaps unlikely not at the stage of life long decisions, but certainly at a point of having sorted out your feelings by the time of eighteen years. Whilst your friend has the option for guys/thinks that she has the option for guys it is only to be expected that she should leave that door open. It is the easier option for it means a "normal" life, and it is the journey which is expected of her. She cannot be expected to be at exactly the same stage in this process as yourself, nor either to have exactly the same priorities, for as well as the two of you get on, and I`m jealous, for one, you can never both be quite the same person. If you are asking me whether you can get away with being entirely straight with her, yes, I believe that you can. However, do n`t be surprised if it should initially cause her to feel a little trapped, as that is so normal for such circumstances. Mid twenties, sorry, yes, of course tell her straight, but I doubt it will come as news. Hopefully she`ll be able to make a final decision between the genders very soon. One would think so. She is very obviously treating you as her best friend, she may or may not love you romantically, but I`m convinced that she does love you. Romantic love isn`t all that it`s made out to be you know. She may join you there, but it might have to be in her time.

[Cali_Love]

Thank you for your response, I didn't get to tell her yet that I like her but we talked a little bit about our feelings and she wants space right now.

[Kates David]

Sorry, but how could the two of you discuss your feelings for each other without it being at least suggested that you like her, and in a relationship such as you already have with her, how does it work that she does n`t already sense this, that you "like her"? I mean, we do have instincts.

[Cali_Love]

Hi Kates David,
(Backstory) - she works nights right now and whenever she gets home she texts me that she's home and talks about what happened at work a bit then goes to sleep & I reply just to let her know I'm there I'm listening. Then when she wakes up she texts me she's awake and what she's doing. ( I never asked this of her ). And she would call me almost everyday to see what I'm doing. We're not bestfriends I have my own and so does she were just close friends.

I never talk about my feelings not just with her but with everyone, when we were texting yesterday something was off with her and we were talking and I told her I felt sad about something but changed topic to what I'm doing this weekend that I'm partying drinking with my friends the entire weekend (which we planned weeks ago). Then she started getting annoyed saying these are her exact words
"Can you tell me what you want from me cause I feel like you expect so much and idk what you want I don't read minds"
And telling me that I get sad if she doesn't reply right away that I don't give her breaks & now I wanna drink with friends (& idk where that's coming from bcoz she's the one texting me most of the time) & I told her "it's not about you not texting right away that's making me sad, you don't even have to text me everyday or reply if I text you..... it's about something else" and she said "I'm here, just tell me how you feel I'm not going anywhere don't get sad, why can't you just tell me? So I know cause I never seem to know and you get upset" & I told her I'm not good with words (plus I don't wanna tell her how I feel through text I want to tell her in person) then she kept saying that she needed time to herself & I told her I'll give her the space that she's asking for
& told her that I'm still here if she needs me then she said she knows I'm always here for her & that she appreciates me. So right now I'm just letting her be & giving her the space that she asked for.

[Kates David]

She`s suggesting that you keep a tight lid on your feelings. You treat her as a close friend/best friend (I do n`t know what the difference is here which you mean to convey?), but there are obviously expectations which come with friendship. You apparently give her back nothing as to a handle on your feelings/on your person. This is why the relationship is stuck, her instincts are useless because you have sealed your feelings off, and your instincts over her feelings are likely compromised for want of self-confidence. Want of self confidence as perhaps the result oh having been hurt badly in the past? What in terms of your prospective then is the difference between a close friend and a best friend? - Her best friend is likely female, and her close friend, if she had one, would be you. You cannot have a relationship on your terms, the terms are a compromise, and if she needs to know of your feelings by text rather than later and in person, this is where the compromise falls. The only nature of perfection in a relationship which counts is preoccupied with the other`s well being/happiness/expectations, never with the reciprocates mere convenience. Apologize profusely, for you already deserve to have lost her.
Living together alone suggests to at least close friendship with a high order of trust.

[Cali_Love]

I will tell her how I feel when I see her & I gave her the space that she wanted , I didn't text her, but she kept texting me today..., so idk she wants space but keeps trying to communicate with me then when I reply to her she tells me I'm texting too much (which is just answering her questions, not like I text her soooo much) & that she needs space? I mean I talked to her today and asked her how much space do you need coz I'm confused & she said she doesn't know.