Getting over her past

[Biagio139]

Ughhhhh ... I just wrote a very long post and it somehow got lost .. Ok ill sumerize .. Met a woman 6 months ago .. So is wonderful .. If there are soulmates shes definatly mine .. Im 44 been in a very long relation ship 13-40 and was cheated on but am now best friends with my ex .. Fiance of recent left me for a 24 year old she is 46 .. Met new girl 2 weeks later .. Never felt like this .. We are inseperable .. Even my ex-wife says shes the best thing to happen to me .. My 12 year old daughter also adores her .. My mom met her on a whim the secound date we went on " i had to stop by their house on the way to diner and she insisted to come in and meet my parents" my mom pulled me into the kitchen with tears in her eyes and said this is the one for you i thinknshe is your soulmate ... I dont normally belive in these things but some odd things have happened.. Anyway last month while drinking some wine we were teasing ine another .. She made fun of my numbers " ive only been with around 7 woman" i jokingly ssid sorry i havent been with a couple hundred ... She replied " it wasnt a couple hundred just over 100. I gasped and tried not to look to freakec out but it showed .. She said it was right after her divorce at 18 to about 22 that it was a bad period in her life and she was feeling very bad about herself to the point she tried to kill herself which redulted in lofe long liver problems ... Why does her past that was 25 years ago haunt me ... She was raised mennonite but definatly has led a very wild life ... Nothing like mine .. I feel like im inwordly very judgmental .. I would never let her know I feel funny about her past .. I find her to be perfect ... Now I tend to get very pissed when I hear someone refer to a woman as a slut or a whore ... But im also feel like im just as bad for not being able to just ket her past be what it is ..... Her Past

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Sorry about the horrible spelling .. I have big hands and its hard to type on the phone

[hazey daisy]

Dude if it doesn't feel right, then it's not. This will not just go away someday. You two are way too different....

[cceav]

What was in the past is in the past. Like she said, she was going through a hard time in her life, people can do all sort of things when they're feeling shit about themselves.

If you can't let it go though, you should try and talk to her about it. Don't throw it in her face, sit her down to a conversation and admit that it bothers you, and explain why. Try to be very respectful and choose your words carefully so it doesn't seem like you're trying to blame her or judging her.

[Jlovebird]

I have the same exact problem with my boyfriend. He has had a ridiculous amount of partners and it was all done in his first year of college. I don't know how to deal with it either. He says he is regretful and that he wants to marry me one day. He says I am the best he has ever had in bed, but it is hard to get that off your mind. I totally understand! I have only been with 4 men including him, so it is quite a gap we have. I wish I could leave the past in the past, but something tells me that some people based on their pasts should not be together and others should. Maybe you need a different woman and I need a different man, but this is life and life is a constant struggle, and if you love this woman like I love my boyfriend, it is maybe worth fighting what seems "right" and struggle for love.

[jjhello]

You can't let this one surprising fact ruin your lovely relationship!

She sounds perfect for you, your ex likes her, your family likes her, your children like her, honestly that alone is the reason to want to stay with her forever.

Look, you have a past being the age you are and she is going to find out about it eventually. Just like you are going to have to do, just pick yourself off the floor dust yourself off and get on with living! I wish you all the luck and I hope you eventually marry her!

[Crys712]

If you can't deal with her past then I think its better not to pursue the relationship. Having doubts with your feeling for her would only ruin your relationships. A past is a past if you're seeing a new person on her now it means that she wants to let go of that past and be a better person now. If you really loved her you have to also accept her past and forget it. She'd been honest with you she tells you everything it means that she wants a good relationship with you that's why she's telling all that. But if you cannot get over with her past I would tell you that its not a good start of having a good relationship. Think about it which is important her past or her present?

[melancholia]

To anyone feeling jealous or weird about your current partner's past: get over it. It has nothing to do with you. They can't change it, even if they wish they could, and there's no sense in feeling bad about something that can't be changed. Some people have been with many previous sexual partners, while others have been with fewer... but it doesn't matter as long as they are respectful and loving toward you. Be thankful to have a partner who is dedicated to nurturing your relationship and make the choice not to let their past effect your future.

[lilydaisy]

People do change! I am a very different person than I was 20 years ago. I have done regretful things but they past and I'm living for NOW! I am more kind, loving and thoughtful - I love people much more than I used to (which means that I'm much more considerate and passionate about life). I love who I am now, and I know that I'm a great partner to my man. He gets the best of me. Don't rule out that you may be getting the best of her right now.