A very strange sequence of events

[CryingPanda]

Hi, I am new to this forum.

I am a 25 years old man who's had around a dozen relationships all of which has been very fast but very short. All throughout my adult life I've rather been a loner: away from family and seldom to speak to them, having very few friends, having been single most of the time. In short, I have been lonely since I was 16; all alone. An important note: I had never fallen in love and I had never asked a girl out until this happened. I had always been asked out before.

I was abroad for two years. On April 29 this year I came to my country and visited the city that my brother lives.

On April 30 I met this really beautiful girl at a rock party where she was with another guy (who happened to be his friend). I was with my brother who was also her friend. We all greeted each other. Frankly, I didn’t have any interest in her and hardly even noticed her. That night my brother got really drunk and I was not very sober myself. I took a taxi, and she and her friend helped us and came to our apartment and stayed the night with us. I thought that the guy was his boyfriend.

Two days later, on May 2, I was sitting at a cafe where all of us are regulars and she burst into the room I was sitting, and seeing me she sighed with relief and said: “Thank God I found you. I was looking for you but I didn’t have your number.” She sat with me and we talked a lot, and when I asked her “where’s your boyfriend”, she said she didn’t have a boyfriend. When I asked about the guy with him, she said "he’s just a friend and almost like a brother". I never saw the guy again, which is a pity because he was such a nice guy.

The next day she came to our apartment (where I live with my brother) and we had tea. We exchanged numbers. In the evening she called me to meet in the city. We met and had dinner at a fine place. When we were served desserts she ate it with my spoon and then I understood: I was in love with her. But I told her nothing.

In the next three weeks that followed we went out everyday and we had really fun time. And she was getting physical with me, like hugging, kissing on the neck, a lot of touching, but oddly, she was always referring to me as a friend.

Then one night we went out to the garden and I told her I loved her, and then I asked her hand for marriage. She was really happy to hear the former (and said yes to the latter, but with an unhappy face). We kissed passionately. Then what she said surprised me a lot: “I am in love with you since the first time I saw you at the party, and I was fancying you being mine, my sexy Georgian.”

But after that day she began to change. If I call 3 times, she answers once. Always postpones me as being busy. Starts allegedly having big troubles at her workplace. We could only meet once 3 days. She was getting anonymous calls from someone so went to the police together and when asked I introduced myself as her fiancee. Later that day she scolded me for that. Also she started blaming me with being too possessive.

Overall, the fun, out-going girl with whom we smoked weed every night turned into a moody, mysterious, boring, forbidding, troubled, repressed girl in 5 days (after I proposed to her). I was going to leave for another town which is quite far away on June 1 (and she knew that from the beginning) and the previous night of my departure we met and had a short but fun night out. In the end of the night I hugged and kissed her, and cried.

On June 1 I left the city as supposed. On June 2 we were texting and I was constantly calling her my love, my darling, etc. and when we were to end the conversation I told her I loved her. She said nothing. I asked her why she didn’t tell me she loved me. She responded to my shock: “but I don’t love you.” Then started the quarrels and it went on until yesterday. She was really weird. She told me that I was pressing her and rushing her for marriage (which is not true). I rang her with mobile and we talked. I explained to her that I want to marry her because I love her and thought that she loved me too. I told her that I want to marry her because I respected her. I also told her that I was not talking about marrying tomorrow or a month later, but to marry EVENTUALLY. I declared to her that if she did not want, we can cancel the idea of marriage. I asked her what our relationship was. She said: "we are not lovers, but we are not friends either. It's complicated". I told her, very gently, that I want this relationship to end and that I wanted to break up. She said: "perfect!" I said: "good night" and she responded: "good night". End of the call.

I didn't call nor text her. She was the one to break the ice first: 3 days later she texted me: "How are you?" Then we started talking again, and I was calling her my love, but she was calling with my name; but we never talked about love, marriage, etc.. Oddly, for the last two weeks she gets very aggressive and cruel (and even rude) when talking to me and calls me names, but I always make it sound like a joke, to save face.

I am going to go back to that city in July and stay there for ever (she knows that from the beginning too). A few days ago I phoned her and I told her I loved her. I also told her that I wanted to move in together with her when I got there. She said OK.

But today we got another big quarrel. She told me: "don't call me again. I don't want to talk to you". And I said: "OK".

The thing here is that she was the one following me everywhere and treating me like I was an angel before I told her that I loved her (in the beginning). And she admitted that she was in love with me the whole time. But after that day I am treating her like the woman of my life but she is treating me like garbage. I don't understand. Why?

[melancholia]

Maybe because you need to work on your story development skills.

[CryingPanda]

Maybe because you need to work on your story development skills.

I am not a writer, I am just a desperate and stupid young man who shared one of his most personal and intimate thing with you and seeks some advice. And it's not funny.

[melancholia]

Oh, trust me, I know it's not funny.

[CryingPanda]

OK, how is my story development skill relevant to the things that took place, in any way possible? And what should I do? I need help understanding what's going on.

[hBetty]

dude , the girl ain't that into you : she was only starting to like you maybe and u just came on her too strong..u scared her the hell away ..lesson learned..move on..the pain will go away in time!