Feelings for someone with a boyfriend.

[melancholia]

They had no sexual relations? Except for making out with tops off? At best, she is emotionally cheating, at worst, she's on the verge of all the way cheating. Regardless, what she is doing is not right. I am sure if we asked her BF what he thought about her behavior, he would be crushed. I'm not sure why you are so quick to go to bat for this woman, when it's the OP who came here for advice. The best advice we can give him is to focus his energy on himself. He doesn't want her to cheat on her boyfriend with him, even though he has feelings for her. That makes the OP a good guy.

I think your logic about cheating being worse when you're married with 3 kids, as opposed to cheating on someone you're in an exclusive relationship with is asinine. Seriously stupid logic right there. Cheating is black and white. Cheating is cheating. If this woman's relationship with her boyfriend was so bad, she would end it. I'm not buying that she is "too weak" to end the relationship, that's a bullshit cop out. She should grow the f*ck up and make up her mind about what she wants, like any other rational adult would do.

[CrystalLight]

Hello RagnaRocke,

I have read your post, and I am actually going to respond from a different perspective. Please bear with me as I have always had a difficult time articulating to others my thoughts and feelings.

I am currently in a relationship with a man, and I am very, very attracted to another man. I have been for as long as I can remember. And I don't mean sexually, as it is a very emotional attraction. Though 'sexually' definitely comes with the territory. I guess you could say that throughout my whole life, the man I have strong feelings for (outside of my relationship) has been my most dearest friend. I love him more than life.

My situation is extremely complicated. My boyfriend is from another country, and he actively chose to move to my country. He knew that I didn't see this as a great idea. At the time I wasn't keen on dating, and I certainly wasn't keen on a long-term relationship, but it happened nonetheless. So, as you can see, I am in a really difficult situation.

To top it off, I am totally clueless as to whether or not the other man (friend) has feelings for me. Our connection is far more complicated than my relationship with my boyfriend. And no, he is not married nor does he have children. In my eyes, friend man always has and always will come first. I hope that that doesn't sound silly or ignorant... that's just how I feel. How I have always felt.

The problem is, I always assumed that friend man had no feelings for me (regardless of the things that we would say when we were very little). For 6-7 years, I have been able to convince myself that I should just try my best to feel 'normal' by living a 'normal life'. I never wanted to get in the way of friend man's journey or important experiences, so I tried as hard as I could to distance myself from him. It killed me to do such a thing, but I didn't really have a choice. As a result, I have been in 2 relationships... though I only just realised how possible it is that I might have hurt him in the process. I am dying inside, and that is the honest truth. The feelings that I have for friend man always find a way to re-surface... in a very big way. Each and every conversation with him is torture. Really happy torture.

Anyway... because our connection is so complicated, I can't just 'up and ask him' whether or not he cares about me 'that much'; I could risk losing his friendship, and if that happened I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.

Please don't get me wrong, I do love my boyfriend very much. He is a really wonderful man, and I can't bear the thought of hurting him. He is my guiding light in that 'normal existence' of mine. If it weren't for my love for friend man, I would probably be very happy in general.

But now it's probably best I get back to the point... would I ever cheat on my boyfriend? No way. My dad cheated, so I've seen first hand how much damage cheating can cause. Would I ever walk away from my relationship? Yes, I believe I would (with a lot of support from my family and friends). Why should I not walk away now? Because I don't want to ruin a wonderful relationship with a wonderful man just because I happen to be very much in love with who I call my soulmate. For all I know (because I don't know) he could care less about me?

I realise now that love is everywhere, I have stopped denying that. But I have also realised that there is only one man on this planet who I would give my life for. As I said, he will always come first.

If this lady shares the same feelings as you, RagnaRocke, I can't guarantee that she would do the same. I don't know her story. However I can guarantee that things will change. As DreamofWaves has already said, if you were to have a conversation with her about your feelings, you will either find closure, or you will come to find that she is willing to reciprocate those feelings.

Personally, not knowing is the hardest part. I hope that helped.

CrystalLight

[melancholia]

^ Why are you with your boyfriend if you prioritize your feelings for this other guy above the feelings you have for your boyfriend? It's great that you are adamant you wouldn't cheat, but don't you consider these feelings to be emotional cheating? I know cheating means different things to different people, and I want to be clear that I am not passing judgment on you.

Are you with your boyfriend until you find out how this other guy feels about you? You said you would up and leave him for this other guy, and then you go on to say you could never hurt him. You also said that you didn't want a relationship in the first place, so why did you enter into one with your current boyfriend?

It's one thing to find another person attractive, or even feel an innocent crush toward someone outside of your relationship, but what you are describing here goes well beyond an innocent crush. Again, I ask, why are you in a relationship with someone if your feelings for another person are stronger?

[Dream_of_Waves]

I am getting tired of witnessing people calling others out on "cheating emotionally". What is that? IMO, there is no such a thing. Just as I don't believe that there is any such a thing as an innocent or guilty crush. Loving is bad? Really? The spreading of love is completely natural, is it not? If anyone ever told any of you otherwise, or that you can only love one person at any one given time, they were full of it.

Melancholia, I feel you are projecting your own beliefs on to others. If you ask me, this strange concept of perfection that I see some refer to does not exist in any relationship. Nor should it. It suggests that the human soul stops seeking love, passion, truth, adventure, the list goes on. We are all animals. It is only natural to think about other people, and to love others.

CrystalLight does not need to break up with her boyfriend just because she also happens to deeply love another human being. Who are you to throw stones at her glass house? We know nothing about her life, so why make snappy judgments based on a few words? She made it clear that she was trying to live a normal life due to her chances of ending up in a relationship with her soulmate being slim. She stated that it is complicated, and that she has no idea how he feels. Not one word of her account came a cross as wrong. It was raw, honest, heartfelt and vulnerable. She is here to give the OP realistic advice, not to take poor judgment.

[melancholia]

Hahaha you're hilarious. I never said anything about perfection, and I'm not projecting my beliefs onto others moreso than you are. You're encouraging someone to explore their feelings for someone who is in a relationship. I am of the opinion that that is inappropriate behavior. Take it as you want it, I really don't care what you think. If the two people involved in this situation were in open relationships, then your concept of spreading love around would be acceptable, fair, and appropriate. However, the girl in question is not in an open relationship, so the spreading of romantic love onto others, outside of her relationship is inappropriate. At least most people consider it that way.

I never even said CrystalLight has to break up with her boyfriend. I'm simply asking her some questions about her specific situation. I even said I'm not judging her, so stop saying that's what I'm doing. F8ck you're getting more annoying, and you're misreading everything I'm saying to fit your own precious thoughts that love knows no bounds, and everyone should be perfectly OK with cheating on their partners, because it's human nature. It's cool that's what you think and believe, no one is stopping you from having your opinion; but please don't preach to me about shoving opinions down other people's throats, in the same sentence as you shove yours down mine.

This conversation clearly isn't going anywhere. Your opinion is yours, mine is mine and that's the end of it.

[Dream_of_Waves]

Your idea of spreading love is clearly not in line with mine. You are still projecting. As I said, you know nothing of this woman's relationship. It is not your business to question her character simply because she is going through a "difficult" time. Her response was aimed specifically at the OP.

- - - Updated - - -

I NEVER said that it is okay for one to cheat on their partner. In fact, nobody here did. Where are you getting this information from? CrystalLight has not cheated on her boyfriend. You reference cheating like it is central to this conversation... you have gone completely off track.

- - - Updated - - -

I NEVER said that it is okay for one to cheat on their partner. In fact, nobody here did. Where are you getting this information from? CrystalLight has not cheated on her boyfriend. You reference cheating like it is central to this conversation... you have gone completely off track.

[melancholia]

It's clear neither of us wants to properly read the other's responses, so this conversation is going nowhere.

Bye!

[RagnaRocke]

Here's an update guys.

So, she arranged a sort of hang for a few people and she invited me. It might be interesting to note that the choice of location - she would normally get a ride off of one of her friends and I would meet her there, but I didn't know if that person was going and offered her a ride which she accepted. When we arrived, it was just us and I asked if anyone else would be coming, she replied that she thought the friend in question and his girlfriend would be and I enquired as to why she didn't ask him for a ride. She pointed out that he hadn't turned up, thus justifying her accepting my offer.

We chilled for a bit, just as friends it was fine and after a while the other two turned up and we had a good time as friends. Later on though, the two of them bounced and we were left chilling alone.

I had commited myself to not letting anything along the lines of the last event to happen, but I expect you guys already know where this is going. It started off innocent enough, we were talking and having a laugh, she provoked me into a playfight a few times which I engaged in briefley and then backed off. The problem is my feelings are hard to control. I intentionally tried to remain passive, so I could clarify for myself that I wasn't the one always initiating these little fights. After she had slapped me a few times, I started to loose control of myself and pinned her down like last time.

At this point it was too late for me because of where my head was at, my feelings had taken over. I decided to give her a 'safe word'. I said,
"Hotdogs" just completely out of the blue and she was obviously confused. So I elaborated, "All you have to say is, 'Hotdogs' and I'll stop." I think she understood what I meant. So we playfought for a bit, I constantly brough up the option to say hotdogs and I kept asking her if she was ok. By this point, I'd had her top off again and when she was just in her bra I asked again and she said,
"No." Still in the moment, I replied,
"Really?"
"No, get off." So obviously I let her go and backed off, to which she started laughing, "That was so easy!" She said and started slapping me again.

I made it clear that I wouldn't fall for that again and she had to say 'Hotdogs' for me to stop in future. Long story short we did some sexual things. I'd taken her bra off and so on. I kept asking her if she was ok and she kept saying yes or nodding and eventually at the end I kissed her, which turned into several passionate kisses.

So, her boyfriend had been txting her most of this time. We would stop so she could txt back, then it would kick off again. We probably would have gone further I think, but we both knew this was starting to look incriminating as he had been at work when we were hanging out and was expecting her back when he finished. We both knew she had to go. So I drove her back to her boyfriend's.

I said I wanted to see her again and she said that she had a boyfriend. That she had cheated on him and felt like a terrible person. I tried to take some of the weight off, I tried to tell her that it was mostly my fault, that I shouldn't have encouraged her into it. That I was a bad person because I only had my own desires in mind and wasn't thinking about how she or her boyfriend would feel. But ultimately, I wanted to see her again. She said she couldn't gurantee it. She just didn't know.

She went on to say that things haven't been perfect with her boyfriend, that he doesn't pay her a lot of attention and that she doesn't feel like kissing him anymore. She said she thinks about me a lot, but just not when she's with him which made her confused. So I ended up bearing my soul. I told her how I feel about her, that I wanted to make her happy and how my mood is elevated around her, the world feels like a better place - that I think she makes me a better person. She replied saying that she didn't know what to say. I asked if she liked me, and she nodded. I asked if she loved her boyfriend and she said yes. She explained that she had a cushy life as he doesn't charge her any rent or bills and wouldn't have anywhere to go if he found out and threw her out. She explained that this wasn't the only secret that she was keeping from him, that she had smoked a ciggarette and enjoyed it recently and couldn't tell him because she prided herself on being anti-smoking.

When we were still playfighting and she got her first txt from her boyfriend, I asked if she wanted to go and she said she didn't have to. That he would just be sat on his playstation and she would probably go and read in the bedroom or something. As we were parked outside his apartment, I said this had annoyed me. I said I didn't want to drop her off and I was jealous of him because he got to spend everyday with her and I was annoyed that playing video games without her was how he chose to spend that time.

I also explained that I didn't know where my feelings had come from, they just came out of nowhere and they shouldn't have so I was confused. I said for the last 2 weeks, my head had been all over the place about her. She asked how long we'd known each other and I predicted it was about a year/a year and a half. She said she had thought about me as more than a friend for about a year.

Towards the end, I explained that however she wanted to deal with things I would back her up. If she wanted to keep it quiet, but she wanted me to disappear out of her life, I'd do it. If she wanted to tell people that I pinned her down and she asked me to stop and I didn't, I wouldn't edit her story - she said she wouldn't do that. I kept asking if I could see her again, even if we were just hanging out as friends - I really just enjoyed spending time with her. She nodded at first but then said, we don't seem to be able to do that when we're alone together. I explained firmly that I could control myself if that was the case. I explained that if it meant I could continue to spend time with her and she didn't want to do anything sexual, we could hang out just as friends. I told her not to underestimate my willpower and I know deep down I could do it.

But, we parted on a note where she didn't know what she wanted to do. She said she didn't want to pick 'the wrong one' and that she had made bad choices in the past. At this point, I don't know if I'll see her again and I've really badly shot myself in the foot because now it's going to be even harder to get over her.

I'd appreciate any advice you guys think is appropriate, and please feel free to continue stating your opinions, everyone's input is really helping me to get my mind in the right place.

[Dream_of_Waves]

Good on you for opening up. This first piece of advice would be relevant to you if she decided to not break up with her boyfriend. If that happens, you should consider taking a break and focussing on other aspects of your life.

It's one thing to declare your love for each another and to have her choose to walk away from a relationship that no longer serves her, but it would be another thing if she decided to stay with her boyfriend. The way I see it, she hasn't necessarily decided to stay with him. Obviously she needs time to think this through, especially considering she feels scared to be independent again. Hopefully she realises her worth and comes to her senses. If she really loves you, she will choose love and strength. She will leave her boyfriend and hopefully take a few months to be with herself before you two start dating. IMO, that would be the most respectful and smartest way to handle this.

[melancholia]

I stand by my opinion that this is not appropriate behavior at all. You claim you have strong enough willpower not to engage in sexual activity with her, yet you also said that you can't control your feelings; and both of you continue to push the boundaries of what is (generally) acceptable behavior when one, or both people, are in a relationship with someone else.

In a shocking turn of events, I do agree with Dream_of_Waves, that it's brave for you to have told her how you felt. It must have felt good to finally be able to come clean about how you feel about her. But you have to be kidding yourself if you think you two can just be friends at this point. You've both expressed that you have feelings for each other, past a platonic friendship. Each time you've spent time together, the boundaries get crossed further.

I agree that she needs time and space to figure out what she wants. It would be stupid, and irresponsible, for you two to hang out again before she decides what she wants to do about her boyfriend. She owes it to him and their relationship to make a decision about that at this point. She should either break up with him, or stay with him and try to repair it. The choice is up to her, but if you two continue seeing each other and getting caught up in your feelings, then I don't see how it will be any easier for her to make up her mind.

[TheEvilJester]

I will say this.... Though my initial opinion was that you really shouldn't burden her by sharing with her how you feel..... that changed when she opened up to you first. Again, what you two did is inappropriate given that she is in a relationship.... and again, I will reiterate that I don't say that meaning to judge you or even to judge her. Believe me, I understand when you feel a special kind of attraction to somebody, sometimes you just cannot help that. It can also be hard to control yourself if the opportunity to explore that should actually present itself.

You claim that you can control yourself if you two hang out just as friends, but the thing is you have already failed to do that on two separate occasions now. And, again, no judgment here. One time was bad, but could be excusable as a mistake. Twice is bad, but you could honestly say that you thought you could control yourself after making the mistake the first time. That you felt bad and thought that was enough to stop you from doing anything again. If you continue on, then it starts to become cheating.

So, it would really be best to keep your distance for now. Given what she's told you, I wouldn't necessarily suggest you completely remove her from your life. She obviously cares for you very much, and with a little patience, maybe you two actually could wind up together. But, again.... at this point that is just a maybe. She's having a rough time right now with her boyfriend. Her pulling closer to you could MAYBE be in large part due to that. She may feel like she is not getting what she wants/deserves/needs out of her relationship, and here you are this great guy who seems like he could give her what she's missing.

If she were to specifically leave him to be with you, it could very well be that it was only a knee-jerk reaction on her part. Reacting out of the hurt of being in a relationship that was slowly declining. You don't want to be her rebound and find in time that she winds up pulling away from you. So, right now you need to give her time and give her space. Let her deal with her life, deal with her relationship, and decide what she wants. The good news here is it sounds like there COULD be some hope. She's not happy, and maybe her relationship will end. After that, maybe with time she will decide she really does want to be with you, and not that she was just reacting out of feeling trapped in a bad relationship. The thing is, that has to be HER decision and not anybody else's. Let her make that decision.

If their relationship ends, be there for her as she heals, but give her time to heal before you two start anything. In time, maybe it could work out after all. Again, for all you know, maybe this is just a slight rough patch in their relationship. Maybe they will work through it and be okay. Trying to mettle in her relationship cannot do any good. If you succeed in winning her over, but she later regrets it, she'll likely blame you and resent you for "ruining her relationship" even though it was really she who decided to leave him. If you fail and she stays with him, it will likely ruin your friendship. On the other hand, if you remain a supportive friend and she winds up leaving him.... in time, maybe you two could have something real together. At the very least, at least the option would still be there for you two to be friends. It may be in your interest not to remain friends if that winds up being all she wants because that may be too hard for you, but at least the option would be there.

Good luck to you!

[RagnaRocke]

I was woken up last night by a text message from this girl. I had 4 missed calls from her boyfriend on my phone and she was simply stating that she thinks she ****ed up. I asked what had happened, if she was ok.

Over text messages, she explained that she thought it was a good idea to tell her boyfriend what has been happening between us. She says she 'tried to dump him' but he started yelling at her, then started crying, then started throwing items around the flat and eventually threw up. She had gone into the spare room so she could get away from him and text me. I replied that the whole thing sounded a bit crazy, but ultimately it couldn't be called an overreaction as he must be crushed. I asked if she had control of the situation.

She said she was ok, she thought she was in control and that he was just begging her to try harder and not leave him. She explained to me that she didn't think things woud work out, as she had already been trying to heal things for a while and nothing was changing. She also mentioned that he was very pissed off at me. I replied that I didn't blame him, I said my actions had been more than a little disrespectful to say the least but that I wasn't going to dwell on it. I said I thought the best course of action, would be if I could have a heart-to-heart with him and maybe talk things out, even though I had no idea what I was going to say. She said she didn't think it would work as he wouldn't be interested in hearing what I had to say, then abruptly said he was coming into the spare room and she wouldn't be able to text back. She apologised for waking me up and said I should just go back to sleep. The last text I sent, I just said I didn't think I could sleep now.

Anyway, I got some sleep and got woken up by a txt from her boyfriend about 4 hours later saying his girlfriend had told him about me, that he was heart broken and we had destroyed him. I sent her a text simply asking if I could see her today and I texted him back saying the situation was complicated and I didn't want to explain it over a text. I said what happened was almost like and accident and we both felt like terrible people because of it. I said I thought it was better that he knew about it.

He seemed to ignore my text and just mentioned that I was being disrespectful to be requested to go out with her today and do the boundries of a relationship mean nothing to me. I said I wasn't going to play any guilt trip games, that it was her choice what she wants to do and that I'd rather have the conversation in person if he wanted to meet me. He said that wasn't a very good idea because he was angry and didn't think anything I had to say would be worth listening to. So I said maybe it would be better to meet up and have this discussion when he felt more level headed.

He said he wasn't interested, that'd he'd never forgive me for this and that we should just stay away from each other. I texted back that I wasn't asking for forgiveness. If he wanted to hear what I have to say, I'll tell him and if he wants me to stay away from him, I'll repsect that decision and he eventually texted back that he'll listen to me, just not yet.

I was a little worried about her and I don't know what the best course of action is from here. There's no gurantee that she has left him, he may well win her over with the pity card... If not, there's still no gurantee that she left him so she could pursue anything with me. She might just want to be single and like you guys were saying, I wouldn't want to be just a rebound. I am however, very eager to see her. Like I say, I was a little worried and after these events, I thought a heart-to-heart between me and her would be a good idea.

I sent her a text updating her on the situation, saying I've said I'll stay away from her boyfriend but I still wanted to talk to her. She said she didn't think it was a very good idea. I moved my shift at work to free up time for her and told her I had done so. She hasn't responded to me so far.

[CrystalLight]

[MENTION=81312]melancholia[/MENTION], I apologise if my post came across as a little heavy sounding. After having re-read it, I can see what you are getting at. I am a very private person, and am not used to talking about my feelings with anyone. And don't worry, I don't think that you are passing judgment on me at all... thank you for asking the questions that you did.

Firstly, I just want to get something straight. I am not planning on cheating on my boyfriend, neither physically nor emotionally. I would never do such a thing to anyone, certainly not intentionally. As TheEvilJester said, sometimes people make mistakes. Not that that's ever an excuse, but a mistake is a mistake nonetheless.

I have always imagined emotional cheating to be more devastating than the physical kind, but I also think that the situation has to be pretty bad to be considered emotional cheating. There would have to be something physical going on there, too, along with mutual emotional exchanges with no real plans to make any sort of an adjustment. Otherwise they are just strong feelings? We all feel, because we all have the capacity to love. If my feelings are considered cheating, then God help us all?

I can't control my heart, and I don't believe that I am meant to. I can control my choices and my values/principals, and I can depend upon myself to take nothing for granted. I truly believe that each and every person in my life has a special purpose there. It is so difficult to explain my situation, but I will try as best I can.

Perhaps a scenario will help in giving you a better picture. If you were faced with a very slim chance that the person you love, more than anything or anyone, will tell you whether or not they have the same feelings for you (and then there's their willingness to act upon those feelings), would you stay single for years and years, or maybe even decades, hoping that eventually you will get an answer, before making an active choice to date other people/attempt to live a 'normal life'? I don't think that my friend man would want that for me - he would want me to be happy... I certainly want him to be happy. The same goes for my boyfriend. We want one another to be happy.

In some ways (mostly subconsciously), I guess you could say that yes, I might be waiting for my friend man. Do I feel guilty about that? Of course I do. Though at the same time I feel that maybe I have nothing to feel guilty about. Maybe my feelings are just natural. I don't know why this is happening to me, nor do I know what I am meant to do... I haven't any clue what will happen in the future. I have very little contact with this man, so as you can imagine there is probably a 75% chance that I am dreaming up all of my feelings. Plus, it really is more complicated than it seems. I am a little older than him (not by much), but I am. I'm also in a relationship, so maybe he is a bit put off by that. Or, he just doesn't care about me at all? Ah, some days I just wish that he had the power to read my mind, and could tell me whether I am either crazy or sane. Then there are days where I wish that I could fly to his city, just to have some sort of a conversation with him about this. Though I would never have the guts to do that, even by message (thanks to my fragile ego).

I have learned so much from each and every person in my life. I would never take anyone or any experience for granted. I have taken the good with the bad, and I have grown as a result. Relationships were never meant to be easy for me. My childhood was quite messy... my family and I moved around a lot. So while I am proud of most of my choices in life, I also have a knack for making some silly choices; i.e. remaining in relationships a little longer than I should etc etc. However, I don't feel that I am overstaying my relationship with my boyfriend. Not in that 'normal life' that I have been trying so hard to live. As I said, I love my boyfriend VERY much. He makes me extremely happy, and vice versa. We may not be made for one another, but we are still a wonderful fit.

As for my friend man, I cannot begin to explain to you just how much he means to me. I do see him as my soulmate, and you can take that any way you like. I don't see any reason to lie about that as I don't want to make myself out to be someone I'm not. I love him so much, and I miss him terribly. When I say that he gets some sort of a priority, it's because I feel that there is a big piece of my heart that belongs to him. I will never get that piece back - that has always been the case. And the truth is, I don't want that piece back. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I don't think that that is something I ought to be ashamed of.

At the end of the day, I try my hardest to do what's best for everybody. I try to embrace the moment, for myself and for those around me. I have been in a very small number of relationships, and that's the way I'd like to keep it. I do take them very seriously. I guess that's why I don't want to just ignore what's in my heart. I can't do that.

This is so incredibly tough for me. There are times where loving this man can physically hurt... so much so that occasionally I will cry. I do realise now that the physical pain is mostly due to the confusion of having no answers, and not knowing how to move forward. This is why I recommended to RagnaRocke that he should consider expressing his feelings to the lady he cares about. At the very least, it will give him that opportunity to move forward (in one way or another).

Also, I just want to add that while I have known this man for the majority of my life we have never been together like that.

I hope that helped to answer your questions.

CrystalLight

- - - Updated - - -

I truly apologise for rambling on (and for hijacking the OP's thread)... I just came off of a surprise night shift. Here's to hoping that I made some sense!

[melancholia]

Hey CrystalLight!

Thank you for clarifying. You really let a lot out in your post there. Does it feel good to express your honest feelings? I hope it does

I was not at all passing judgment on you or your situation at all, and I'm glad you noticed that. I was simply asking questions I had in order to better understand where you are coming from. I don't think you're a bad person or even that what you are doing is necessarily bad either; I simply try to ask the tough questions that some people can't, or won't, ask themselves.

I will reply in further detail later, because I find a lot of what you said both interesting and enlightening and I would love to give a full response so we can have a good, positive discussion here. This is what I love about subscribing to forums such as this, being able to bond with complete strangers from all across the globe; and to discover, and discuss, our similarities and our differences, which can be some of our greatest qualities.

I'll respond later for sure! Hope you have a fantastic day!

[RagnaRocke]

I saw her today. She texted me agreeing to meet up and talk. I was parked outside her boyfriends flat when he came out and was being picked up by someone. As they drove passed he saw me. She eventually came out and got into my car and shortly after, her boyfriend re-appeared and opened the passenger door. He asked what she thought she was doing and accussed her of planning to go and have sex with me. I stayed silent and she eventually told him just to close the door and go away. After several times being told this, he did and she told me just to drive.

I took her out to a rural area with no people and we had an in-depth chat. She admitted she wasn't happy but couldn't make any gurantee's as to what choice she would ultimately make. I suggested that she break up with her boyfriend and be single for a couple of months. If she wanted to see me during that time, she would be single so it would be ok and after a few months maybe I'd take her out on a date or something. She seemed to like the idea but didn't seem to want to lead me on.

We kissed several times out in the field. We ended up making out for almost an hour and she said she was sad that this was as far as we should go. I said I wouldn't go any further at this point.

I dropped her off nearby her boyfriend's flat so as not to anger him should he be there and went to work.

I recieved a text after work from her, she told me it was completely over. I asked what happened and she explained that he had changed the locks, for fear of her bringing me inside his flat. She had phoned him and he had come round to let her in so she could pick up her stuff. She said she ended up crying for an hour and then had a panic attack. I asked if she was ok and she said no. I expressed that I was worried about her and if she wanted to see me she just needed to ask but she said no, she just needed to think and told me not to worry.

So I'm leaving her alone at the moment. But I still feel as lost as before as to what's going on in her head or where I stand...