I can't leave my toxic relationship

[LoveHurtsMe]

My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half, and it hasnt been smooth sailing consistently at all through out the entire relationship. He has a ton of authority over me and tells me what music to listen to, which friends to have, and to delete my social media accounts for good. He as access to my phone and accounts btw. But recently hes been very hypocritical. He doesnt let me on his phone at all and keeps most of his texts and conversations private. He has me on a kind of "curfew", getting super angry and condescending if i stay with my friends too long. He calls me a dictator for trying to invade privacy. I'm constantly called insane, crazy, paranoid, a bitch, jerk, monster and many other things during arguments that involve me calling him out for him lying. And the worst part is, Ive been anxious and depressed, two things i thought i handled and controlled finally after years of medication and therapy, all because of him. Im not always a victim i have to confess i do yell back at him and get mad and try to defend myself. But when i do that he says something about a guy who raped me knowing it makes me insecure instantly and triggered, in order to make a point as if im the reason guys are jerks to me and either sexually abusive or in his case verbally.


He refuses to let me dump him or break up, he drives to my house and forces me to see him to situate our problems because he loves me and wants to be with me forever.

How do i get a guy like him to change and to see what he does is wrong?

[melancholia]

Do you have any friends or family that could help you move out, and in with them so that he cannot come find you? He is abusive, and his behavior is only going to get worse if you don't get out now. Talk to everyone in your family and circle of friends (the ones you trust wholly), and tell them he is abusive and that you need help. Someone will help you out, and then you can at least get away from him so you can begin the process of moving on.

[hazey daisy]

Don't tell him you are leaving him or any other plans. Move in with someone he doesn't know, a different city would be best, leave without a forwarding address, cancel your phone, get a new number, stay off social media. Disappear. If he finds you and refuses to leave, call the police and have him removed for harassment, get a restraining order.

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BTW and abuser is an abuser. He will not change, you cannot fix him. GET OUT NOW. I was in an abusive relationship ONCE. I learned the best solution is to leave and cut off all contact.

[LoveHurtsMe]

im going to college in my hometown, and my campus is within a 20 minute drive from where i live. Im living in a dorm which doesnt really protect me from him when ever he gets too much. Its difficult to talk about him with my family because they see this as punishment for why i choose to have a dating life. I wish i had a way to make him a better person but sometimes it drives me insane and I'm too vulnerable and dependent to walk away

[melancholia]

Ask your school if you can switch dorms and then notify them that he is dangerous so they can remove him from the premises if he shows up. You have options, you need to start using them. It is not safe to be with him. You need to get out of this relationship in the safest way possible, and you need to find a way to protect yourself. People will be willing to help you if they know your situation and this is a time when you need to ask for help.