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Thread: Help?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Gender
    Male
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    1

    Help?

    Girlfriend for over 2 years.

    Have had some problems before, always fixed them by just talking

    Long distance at the moment. Whenever there is a problem she immediately just ends the Skype call and doesn't talk to me for about half a day. Then, nothing happens, shes back to the way it was before. Another problem shows up, same thing. I don't even have a chance to talk to her or anything, just ends it immediately... Then when I try calling her, getting her attention she says "i dont want to talk to you right now" or something along those lines, txts me again in about 15-30 minutes on a big rant, then gets mad at me for not responding because she just said she doesn't want to talk to me so I just don't check.

    Recently the problems have been:

    I didn't do much on my off day from work besides play a game for quite a while and do some programming, said "yea I should've done blablabla" looks at me, then ends call, doesn't talk to me for 5-6 hours, goes on a big rant, eventually she calms down and I just apologize again and again and make adjustment.

    Her culture celebrates every 100 days, instead of year, and I thought it was 100,200,300,500,1000 instead of EVERY single 100 days, so I apologized and then she immediately ends the call, still hasn't talked to me, she looks at my messages though, no response. I don't know if I should just let her get mad if I don't respond (because she doesn't really respond to me for 10 hours, so how is it reasonable to expect me to instantly respond?) or actually sit there and wait..

    I really don't know what to do, I CANNOT get for the life of me the opportunity to ever even talk to her about any problems, and she knows there are problems. Its legitimately like she wants them to be there.

    We are extremely good whenever we don't have issues which is pretty common for a lot of the time, but sometimes I just forget things, mess up a bit, and no matter how small the mistake is she ends the call and just ignores me for a pretty lengthy period of time, and if I don't sit there at the phone and she tries to talk to me whenever shes calmed down and I'm not 100% ready for it, it gets even worse and might even be a day before she speaks to me.

    It didn't used to be like this, about 3-4 months ago whenever there was an issue we just talked about it... how can I bring it back to that system of problem solving?


    Secondary question:

    Am I a good boyfriend? She gives me so much doubt that I am despite me literally trying everything possible short of ignoring every hobby and interest I have to make her happy. I have 11$ in my account (just got back from a 3 week trip with her, went really well... although some problems from that also occured but I didn't realize until recently) but I'm waiting for payday so I can buy a bunch of her favorite treats and write some really really nice notes, along with thank you card for her mom for some gifts she sent my family, and put it in a bottle that I forgot to give back to her. Constantly tell her I love her, actively show my interest in her day, lots of just really kind things...

    Shes also told me to "grow up" and stuff but shes NEVER even once hinted at that since she went to university in february, and I have yet to go since I am waiting to move to her country to enter university, and am going to community college in the mean time... She kind of just treats me like I'm still a kid even though I looked after her quite a bit, and the only thing I messed up on or didn't really know how to do was deal with trash in her country since its pretty different, and also dishes since I've always had a dishwasher, and she didn't even give me a chance to try it xD...

    Idk, I'm just looking for a different perspective since its hard to get a good one when you've been in a relationship for 2+ years and not many friends around that are able to give me their 2 cents

    tl;dr Really happy 80% of the time, whenever ANY small mistake happens it is some of the worst feelings I've ever had in my life, but we used to be able to work things out really easily. Also am I a decent boyfriend like I think I am?

    My opinion (in my little bubble) is that I am a really good boyfriend but still don't know how to get her to talk to me when I mess up inevitably, and I never ever have gotten mad at her for anything that I can recall and always just let things go...
    Last edited by aslaskJP; 13-08-16 at 09:14 PM.

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