Too old to hope for love

[Connemara]

I just turned 55 and, although I've been with my husband for 28 years and was previously married briefly, I don't feel I've ever experienced true, romantic love. My marriage is very unhealthy in that my husband refuses to communicate with me about anything personal and flies off the handle anytime I try to bring up the subject. He shows no affection, no regard for my feelings, no interest in improving our relationship. Three years ago he kicked me out and started divorce proceedings, only to allow me back because he doesn't want to be alone. I can't support myself, which is why I stay married. My one and only goal in life has always been to be a good housewife and I can't and won't change that. Do I continue living with the pain of knowing that I may live the rest of my life and die, never having been in a loving relationship?

[nipnap]

dont wast your time on this worthless man you deserve beter. i was maried to a realy terable woman that tret me realy badly i stayed with her for 19 years for kid sake it was realy bad 4 times she tride to kill me with knife icould not leave because she woul have taken it out on kid just to make me sufer knowjng thay would be sufering wen the kids grew up i met a girl 18 years younger than me i was 42 we have bean together now for 30 years and are still madly in love wev had 4 lovely kids have 8 grand kids im very young for my age and we do every thing together we both love each other like theres no tomorow so its never to late for love join a club or do some volentary work etc your bound to meet somone whow will love and cherish you then you can drop that ungratfull unloving exuse for a man and live along and happy life with somone who realy loves you what have you got to lose GO FOR IT GIRL BEST OF LUCK XXXXXX

[NewJack]

I just turned 55 and, although I've been with my husband for 28 years and was previously married briefly, I don't feel I've ever experienced true, romantic love. My marriage is very unhealthy in that my husband refuses to communicate with me about anything personal and flies off the handle anytime I try to bring up the subject. He shows no affection, no regard for my feelings, no interest in improving our relationship. Three years ago he kicked me out and started divorce proceedings, only to allow me back because he doesn't want to be alone. I can't support myself, which is why I stay married. My one and only goal in life has always been to be a good housewife and I can't and won't change that. Do I continue living with the pain of knowing that I may live the rest of my life and die, never having been in a loving relationship?

I don't think 55 is too old to reach out for something better. The problem for you seems to be finding a way to do it on you own. What makes you think you can't support yourself?

[blue_angel]

Hi Connemara,

I'm 50 and have been married for 30 years. Like you I feel I'm stuck in my marriage. I am currently trying to recover from the worst heartbreak imaginable (it's what brought me here) - yes I have experienced deep love and losing it has been an absolutely traumatic experience. It feels like the apocalypse of my life. I have never loved my husband the same - long sad story, we got married way too young etc. - and the idea of never finding love again is terrifying.

I know that I have to leave my marriage. I feel I still have a few years left, and so do you. It's not too late, but we have to take action. There IS true happiness to be found for us. If I didn't believe that, I don't know how I could go on living (it' hard enough as it is). If you want to talk, please send me a PM. Maybe we can support each other. I often feel younger people can't really relate - if I was 30, or even 40 or 45, I'd be a lot more optimistic about finding love again.