Ex girlfriend question

[Anon88]

I am 28 years old and I'll be honest when I say that I'm embarrassed to be here and this will likely be my first and only post here. Any constructive feedback would be much appreciated. I dated my now ex gf for 5 years from 2007-2012. She was my first real love and I was her first everything and things were beautiful for the first 3 years. As most of you know, things get a little dated after a few years and it takes more than a little bit of effort to keep things great. I never really did my part. She tried very hard, not only on her part, but to get me to get my shit right, but I never did and subsequently she left me after 5 years-for someone else. It was hard for me for a long time, just being able to forgive myself. Since then we've both moved on and I've had a few flings but nothing as serious. I've tried to reconcile with her since we broke up but she really didn't want much to do with me, and that's because she was trying to make things work with her boyfriend. I understood and commended her for staying loyal. A few days ago she texted me and began asking me how I was. As this was out of the ordinary I did some research and found that she is newly single. She didn't stop there, and seemed very interested in what I was doing and where. Opinions are fine, but I know what most would say about this. I now live across the country, but visit twice a year for a few weeks, during the summer and around Christmas and New Years. I would love to know what a woman would want to hear from her ex boyfriend if he was to ask to take her out when back in town this December. Thank you!!

[melancholia]

Logistically, it doesn't sound promising. You don't even live there, and long distance relationships rarely work out well, unless one of you is willing to move for the other person. Also, why did you two break up initially? Sometimes people can reconcile after time apart, because both people grow and gain their own sense of individuality, and can come back together and work things out. But the relationship will be different than it was before, and that is crucial because if it goes back to the same way it was previously, then nothing changes and you may find yourself in the exact same position as you were several years ago. I know it's hard to move on from someone you loved, especially if it was your first love; but sometimes that's best left in the past. It sounds like there are too many variables against you to reconcile, but I don't know you or this woman, or the history of your relationship. If you think a reconciliation is possible, and if that's something you want, then you need to talk to her about it and see where she is at and what she thinks and wants.