Should I wait for her..?

[Jaxs1972]

my girlfriend left me in January to go to a wedding and she hasn't returned yet. She continuously feed me false hope of her returning creating and endless cycle of pain and heartbreak. Her parents kept her their for the first couple months so she'd break up with me but when given the oppritunitity to come back to me she decided to stay multiple times making me question whether she loves me or not. It's now September and she hasn't returned yet and I've been waiting for her more or less on and off for 9 months. Through all this I've gone through my worst case of depression(literally 9 months of laying in bed) and ontop of it all she made me lose hope, trust in everything and I've Seriously died every day. She has decided to "eat shit" until her parents allow her to return home ( she's 19 btw) and instead of doing something to take control of her life she chooses to wait till her family deems fit when she can return. I've asked her numerous times to come back to me because this is the girl I want to spend my forever with but she just refuses to grow a back bone and do something for herself. So my question is how do I get through to her so she can take back her life and find the will to stand up and fight. Should I just leave her or should I keep pushing her to come back. From what I've gotten from her it seems she doesn't love me at all... So if anyone can maybe help me with this Dilemma it'd honestly mean the world. Maybe if I show her strangers opinions she'll come back

[JustAGuy123]

So, I know you're not going to like my advice, but I'll tell you anyways. I can understand being young and worried about your parents, but if she really loved you and felt the same as you then she would find a way. When you talk to her does she seem depressed? Does it seem like she's just keeping you as a rebound in the future?

I'm a hopeless romantic. If I love someone I'd run away to be with them. I'd leave family and everything else behind for the one I love. Some people aren't like that, but is being depressed and wasting your life away worth one person? No. Especially if you are questioning if she cares about you or not.

I'm going to tell you to leave her. If she really wants to be with you then once you leave her she will find a way to you. Don't just sit there and be miserable. Go out. Meet new people. Date and see new things. You'll realize that waiting for someone who hasn't matured yet isn't worth it, especially if she isn't trying very hard for you. You'll be happier when you do.

Its ultimately your decision, but if I was you I'd leave her and go experience the world instead of dreading every moment without someone who doesn't love you.

[Greatta]

I do not think that you should wait ... If she comes back, let her show that she wants to be with you

[TheEvilJester]

You've waited 9 months. That is already much too long. She's no girlfriend at all. If she were she wouldn't "leave to go to a wedding" and suddenly never come back. Sure, if she had to travel to go to a wedding then she HAD to do that. ...But weddings typically last a day. Why the Hell has she not been back since then?

Frankly, you shouldn't have waited even this long. Believe me, I understand why you did. I understand how hard it can be to let go of something you thought was great. The thing you need to realize, though, is she is NOT the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. I know it seems that way now, but she isn't and she never was. The woman you THOUGHT she was is the woman you want to spend your life with. You'll never find that in her. You WILL someday in somebody else if you still wish to find that.

Cripes, she's 19 and still letting mommy and daddy tell her what to do. You need a woman, not a giant overgrown child. As JustAGuy said, I know this is probably not the advice you wanted to hear, but I can't offer any other or I wouldn't feel I am giving you good advice. You shouldn't be basically having to beg your girlfriend to come back to you. The moment it got to that point was the moment you should have realized she doesn't deserve you.

And, don't get me wrong, also like JustAGuy, I am a super romantic guy. When I fall for a gal, I would give her the world. I get the impression you are like that too. The thing guys like us need to realize is that people take advantage of that, so we have to be extra careful not to let that happen to us. Some day a girl will truly appreciate you for that. Don't waste your time on somebody who doesn't. I know right now it feels like you will never get over her, but in time you WILL and you will realize that you deserve so much better.

Good luck to you.

[pcmaster]

Dont wait for her man. You know you will only jerk off anyway while being single. Might aswell go out there and get some sweet girl to spend time with. Besides if you get in contact with her now then it will only mess you up more and make you think more about her. You need to move on and execute anything that remains you of her. Really you are young and theres simply too much opportunities for you. So that makes even less sense to wait. You deserve to be happy now. DOnt wait cause no one else will put your happiness in first place. Forget the past and start to live in present.