Hello recently had a convo with a guy who claims to like me.
Last Saturday at 6:30 am he sent: I have it in me that it seems like you're just planning to waste my time but I can't stop thinking what if. I pick up the phone to text you constantly, but I tell myself to just let you be. Well, now I'm at the point where I just have to text and say hi. I want to know how you're doing? Hopefully better than last time. Are you putting yourself back together? You still close by? Back in school? Do you still think about me or am I the only one up late nights deleting messages written to you. I've written an edition of this about 3 times already. I wonder if this will be the one that makes it or maybe I'll try to harden my heart again and delete it.😩
I replied Sunday: Hi. I have it in me that you're planning to waste my time too. I haven't heard a thing from you since the last message I sent you. From that time and now, I blocked you. I feel that you were playing games and we both discovered that we like honesty, so being honest didn't seem there at that moment. I hope you're better than last time too. I have an internship and I am doing well. I still live at the same place you thought you were going to be killed at lol (I live deep in the country for you guys wondering)
I waited for his reply. Nothing Sunday or Monday. So Tuesday morning I sent: What do you want from me? I'm not understanding what it is you are working to do.
He replied: I want everything from you. Just seems like you're never in any condition to do so. You're always just not ready and don't even seem willing to try. I hate wasting my time and efforts. And it always seem that no matter how much I like you, I always feel like you're not ready and probably never will be so I should just forget about you. Unfortunately, I can never seem to do that. No matter how many months pass I still find myself thinking about you.
I replied: I understand that you like me, hell i like you too. But I would like you to understand where I am coming from. I don't like anything about my feelings being dismissed and that is how I felt the last time I had messaged you. I thought i was being caring trying to see how you were and such, but felt ignored when no response was given. That for me isn't going to make me feel secure and so loving to opening up to you. I'm not for the games at this point, I'm tired. To me it seems like you go away and then come back thinking I should just be ready for you. Going and coming back with little communication, chaos and what feels like isolation is not okay to me. Nor makes me feel like you really do like me as you say.
He replied: I understand where you're coming from. Not trying anything here just texted you because I was thinking about you.
Then from here, proceeded to make plans to see each other later that day. Plans got cancelled because he had to take his mom to the hospital. I was okay with that.
I sent message Wednesday: Checking to see how he was and about his mom and all was good. Convo over after that...
Waited around Thursday for a message, he sent around 9:30: Didn't disappear again by the way. I just work long shifts for 4 days then have off 3. Don't really have that much time to converse during the 4 days I work.
I replied: Hey there, I get it. You're a working man. Shoot me a text when ya can, I know I had to cross your mind sometime today 😋😉
Now I'm trying to take his word on all of this because I know he had off Tuesday and when we talked on the phone letting me know he had to take his mom to the hospital, which again is why plans were cancelled Tuesday. He did mention his next day off is Sunday.
He hasn't messaged me last night and I haven't texted him. I don't want it to seem like I'm chasing him or whatever, but I love to shoot text like, "Having a good day. Thinking about you and such." But I don't want to feel like I'm doing too much when so little seems to be put forth?? Idk...i understand that he works long night shifts, but if he does like me as he says...then I think a simple text from him even if it is to say have a good day would be nice. Instead of not hearing anything waiting around...ya know?
I'm hoping we make some type of plans while he has off for the 3 days, but I'm not quite sure what to do hear.
Thank you for reading this. I truly appreciate it: )