Does nobody fancy me? :-(

[MVPlaya]

Dont know, hadn't posted for 8 months. No clue where they're at, or who they even were.

[LightOn]

justme1977

Only time when looks matter is when you are afraid of your own. How is your posture in the picture? Any character to your facial expression? Post it on here if you can. Looks can and do get you places, but it's up to you what you do with what looks you have.

But....I bet you one thing...If you were a 10 on hot or not carrying this negative image of yourself, there still wouldn't be any women interested in you. You gotta give yourself some love man, cause pessimism isn't gonna do it.

[LightOn]

Dont know, hadn't posted for 8 months. No clue where they're at, or who they even were.

"who they were" as in who was I talking about? Or "who they were" because they were forum buddies?

[MVPlaya]

In retrospect, either works.

[Vanilla Gilr]

LOL....OV said 'fawk'....lol

as a woman...I have to admitt...looks are not the most important thing for the long haul...but there must be some kind of physical attraction and shallow as it may sound...the way someone looks is what you notice first. I mean...that's what eyes are for.

But...ya'll ever notice...someone that you thought was just okay looking when you met...you take time to get to know them and you fall in love...suddenly they are the most attractive person in the world to you?

Being "goodlooking" does not guarentee that love is easier to find...in reality it just means you have to fight off more superficial people...and it gets really boring when people only want you for eye candy...not for who you are.

Either way...love will come when it will...relax and enjoy your life in the meantime.

[gHEXjt]

But...ya'll ever notice...someone that you thought was just okay looking when you met...you take time to get to know them and you fall in love...suddenly they are the most attractive person in the world to you?

This couldn't be more true! When I first met my previous gf I wasn't attracted to her at all. She was cute, but that was as far as it went. I could have done better, but I fell in love with her after getting to know her and the way I felt about her looks even changed. I went from thinking she was just "cute" to thinking she was absolutely beautiful. I'm glad something like that works the same way for women, cause I never would have thought it did.

[Mish]

LOL. I hate to overgeneralize, but i have found something very interesting and something very in common with people who describe themselves as decent, honest etc etc...

"I am honest, decent, funny... so how on Earth?... " by Justme1977

Both guys and girls I find who post that can be quite the opposite. I have no idea how it works out, but from my experience the people who advertise themselves as nice, honest, sincere, decent followed up with a question "so why can't i get somebody?" Have either too high standards, bad personalities or are way too snobby to have a good relationship.

Once again i hate to overgeneralize, but look at your post. Some things i read from your post are not leaving a good impression on me of you (And I am not even a girl)

"although I hate to admit it I am also beginning to generally dislike women now because I think they are all shallow and deserve to be treated like crap by men because they only ever go for how a man looks and if thats how they think they deserve a crappy horrible life.....its got to the point that when I see a woman on the TV who has been battered, cheated on or abused by her "very handsome but yet horrible and generally nasty boyfriend"....I think "so what? you asked for it you silly tart...look deeper than a mans face next time"" AND

"I get along with women well enough, I meet lots of women and they all like me.......but do they want to take anything further?.....er.....NO, they would rather cop off with some guy in bar they know nothing about....but he looks good so thats ok." by by Justme1977

Thats a horrible, horrible outlook on women dude! I am younger than you and yet I know through nothing more than experience that there are women out there with a heart of gold (You don't need to be a rocket scientist to know that). But really, how high are your standards? Are you looking for some super model, high maintenance girls or something? Because if you are happy with just what you get you shouldn't have any problems meeting a lady who is nice, but maybe not so good looking or slightly over weight. There are millions of them out there looking for nothing more than a caring person (And who couldn't care less about the looks - as long as you don't look like a part of a failed experiemnt) I feel sorry for your luck if you haven't been able to find one of them.

My general advice for you is that your outlook on women seriously has to change before you can make any progress. There's something seriously dysfunctional with your overgeneralization of women and putting them all into the same basket. That is just plain wrong and unrealistic!!!

[Bluevetteracer]

Let me tell you, with women, it is not all looks, it is more personality and if you know how to interact with them.

Look if you are nervous, prompt, court, or straight forward with women, it scares them. Women are on the defense most of the time, as they should be, there are allot of weird men out there.

You must not come off as a threat, or in anyway going to harm them, emotionally or physically.

Look I am a pilot, tall, very fit, and have been told that I am good looking by many women, but I get shot down 2 out of three times. Look, not all the women you are attracted to, are going to find you attractive.

I have a friend that is not that all great looking, loosing some hair, not tall but not short, signs of a beer belly, drive a delivery truck, and women love him, because he knows how to interact with women. He gets shot down most of the time as well.

Many women that go out, are married, engaged, have a boyfriend, or a love interests, just out of a long term relationship, out with the girls, gay, whatever. I have concluded that about 1 out of 10 girls, 3 will be interested in me romantically, and of those 3, 1 will be dateable after a few dates. Hey, after you dig deeper then the physical attraction, you may not be that all into them.

[Only-virgins]

Either way...love will come when it will...relax and enjoy your life in the meantime.

Could not say it better my-self. Looks are important but when you fall in love youll think the person is the best looking person to you.

[TAVS]

Could not say it better my-self. Looks are important but when you fall in love youll think the person is the best looking person to you.

True, so very true.

[Lloyd95]

Maybe if you stopped using words like "fancy", "bloke", and "tart" you'd have better luck.

[TAVS]

That's great Lloyd.

[justme1977]

Ok first of all....thank you for the enrouraging posts....

Now on to the ones that were not so encouraging...get ready, your not gonna like it!

Firstly, it has nothing to do with "setting standards too high". Thats a pretty pathetic thing to say. By saying things like this, you are indeed simply backing up my theory of shallowness and I somehow have to devalue myself to meet/date women. I am extremely successful career wise, very well educated (i have a PhD in fact) and have lots of friends both male and female so I would consider myself popular and fun to be around. So in essence you are saying looks are more important than everything else so go for the ugly woman.

Every single person on here who says looks do not play an important role in attracting a mate are talking trash. Ask any ugly/overweight/disabled person and they will quickly dissagree with you (not 100% of the time I will admit that). Society is conditioned to flock to the most attractive person. Why do you think most celebrities are very very attractive?

Of course, I appreciate that all this does go both ways for men and women.

Here in the UK at least, women over these last few years have almost definitely acquired a higher than realistic opinion of the own level of desireability. In all honesty a lot of women here think they should have a Brad Pitt look-a-like who earns Bill Gates level salary with the sense of humour and confidence of Jim Carey and the intelligence of Stephen Hawkins. I think we can safely say that it is the current celebrity fascination that has made this phenomenon occur.

"If you were a 10 on hot or not carrying this negative image of yourself, there still wouldn't be any women interested in you" thats the most rediculous comment I have ever heard. Most people who scored a 10 on hotornot would have no reason to have a negative image of themselves. And it would not matter if they did, they would still be women interested in them.

I agree that as you get to know somebody they can appear to get more attractive if you like them (and vice versa if you dont like them). However, quite often, if somebody doesn't strike that initial attraction chord a lot of women wont even give them the chance in order to get to know them.

MISHANYA and LLOYD....I saved the best till last...

Neither of you really know people as well as you like to think. I guess neither of you are very old or mature and have seen very little of the world and the people in it. Firstly, neither of you could understand (like many others DID understand who replied on this thread) that I was upset and not very happy at the time I wrote this post and was feeling a bit low and lonely. This often makes people say things that are unpleasant or come across harsh. The sooner you learn that in life and dont judge people on their occasional emotional outbursts the better off you will be.

MISHANYA - your post is the worst of them all.

You say "LOL. I hate to overgeneralize" and then go on to just that. So you dont hate it that much.

And then at the end of your post you say "There's something seriously dysfunctional with your overgeneralization of women and putting them all into the same basket. That is just plain wrong and unrealistic!!"

Isn't that what you did several times in what you wrote? We have a phrase in the UK that includes the words pot, kettle and black.

And its interesting how you ignored this part of my post because I suppose it didn't fit into you explanation of the state of the world...

"I even joined a dating agency and suggested not to put my photo on my profile/file....well.....I did get several emails and letters from ladies (quite a few replies actually saying how good I sounded, some even said I sounded too good to be true!).....and communicated with them for a little while and they seemed interested and I even spoke on the phone to one of them but as soon as I sent my picture they vanished as if by magic.....AAAAAARRGGGGHHHHHH!....how annoying!....I am not an idiot and I know if I looked better then they would have kept up the communication and probably gone on a date with me or something."

Now, explain that one if looks are not important!

[justme1977]

Just to add.

I now have indeed met somebody....she is very attractive....stunning in fact.

She is, however, 36 years old (I am now 29). This is not a problem to us, but even she admits that when she was younger she would almost always go for the best looking guy and it was not until she grew a little bit older that other things became more important such as sense of humour, etc.....although she also says she finds me very attractive too....so maybe I am not that ugly after all! lol.

Best wishes all.

[Lloyd95]

MISHANYA and LLOYD....I saved the best till last...

Neither of you really know people as well as you like to think. I guess neither of you are very old or mature and have seen very little of the world and the people in it. Firstly, neither of you could understand (like many others DID understand who replied on this thread) that I was upset and not very happy at the time I wrote this post and was feeling a bit low and lonely. This often makes people say things that are unpleasant or come across harsh. The sooner you learn that in life and dont judge people on their occasional emotional outbursts the better off you will be.

Yo, lighten up. You come on here with your 2nd ever post and think you know us? It was a freakin joke, you tea-sippin pansy.

Oh, btw, girls "fancy" me plenty, but obviously not you! *Sticks tongue out*