Long Distance Relationships - do they work?

[Di_is_that_you]

Hi guys. I'm 26 yrs old and I met a 34 yr old guy while I was on vacation in a country in Southeast Asia. We only basically met and hangout once for 5 hours but somehow we ended up keeping in touch after. During our conversations through chat, I've gotten to know him more and more. It's safe to say I do like him a lot. However, I'm kind of hesitant at the same time to have feelings for him as I don't know if this will actually go somewhere. We're thousands of miles apart and in different timezones. How will this ever work? Its not likely I will be visiting his country for a while and its harder for him to come visit me here as you need to go through the whole Visa process just to enter the US. We've only been talking for about 2 weeks now but my feelings are getting stronger everyday. I just don't know if I should keep this going or should I stop because LDR never works?

[hazey daisy]

He doesn't need a visa to visit on vacation. As long as he has a return plane ticket and the right amount of money to support himself, he won't be denied access.

BUT you have to think....are you willing to relocate say within a year to be with him? If not cut off contact and move on. Most LDRs fall apart because of the relocation issue.....it's very real and has to be considered long before anything gets off the ground. Also it costs a lot of money...are you both financially ready to travel once a month? These things take a lot of trust...there is no stopping him from dating or sleeping with other women, and you being none the wiser.

[Di_is_that_you]

Hazey_daisy, thanks for your input. I get what you're saying. Its such horrible timing. The only time I meet a guy who is very decent and sincere, he's thousands of miles away. Why can't the universe bring me a man within my vicinity?! In regards to the guy, I did tell him that he shouldn't stop himself from meeting other women. And that if he finds himself in love with a local, he should go for it and just tell me. And I'll do the same. However, he was not up for it. He wanted to keep it exclusive but maybe it's because its still new between me and him. Idk. I feel like I know it won't work but I still stay in it anyways...am I wrong?

[pcmaster]

They do work but its like shouting from a distance instead of whispering in the ear.

Ill say give it a limited time in your mind, for example a year. Experience LDR for yourself and then if things dont progress stop it and look for local relationship.

[breathe123]

I think it only works if you have trust, both parties are loyal and you meet each other every few months until within that year one decides to move to live where the other lives. You cannot go LDR indefinitely or even several years.

[TheEvilJester]

They CAN work, that is for sure. ....But, typically they don't. I think the only way the can really work out (again, in most cases) is if the "long distance" aspect is temporary. So, if there is some possible way in the foreseeable future that one of you could move closer to the other (or even both of you move somewhere sort of equidistant from both your homes) then it may be able to work. Otherwise, if there is likely NEVER to be that option, or even it seems highly unlikely, then how is that ever supposed to work?

Heck, even if there could be that possibility, but it is years down the road, that is unlikely to work. And again, life isn't black and white. Sometimes they can and do work out, I'm not saying they NEVER work. I'm just saying, they can be very hard, and rarely do they work if the situation can't change any time soon.

Good luck to you either way. I hope things work out for you both for the best... whatever they may turn out to be in the end.