Can't get over woman i had affair with. What do I do?

[forestguy]

I had a passionate affair 2 years ago that lasted for a couple of months. My wife found out about it and I was forced to choose. For reasons more to do with the fallout I choose to stay with my wife. The relationship with the other woman still continued in secret for about 6 more months. It became virtually impossible to see each other and we haven't seeen each other or talked in several months. I just can't forget her. We clicked on so many levels. We just "got" each other. The sex was amazing, the best I have ever had. I wish I could see her again. Am i still in love with her? I'm so confused. I think about her all the time and what we had together. I just don't know what to do. My heart aches for her. I've been married over 20 years. I feel like the other woman is who I've waited for all my life. Anyone have advice?

[Itsbiffybeach24]

This is incredibly selfish of you... If you had an affair and your wife forgave you, you should be doing everything that you can to make sure that she trusts you again. Not fantasizing about screwing the other woman.

I think you seriously need to think about someone else aside from yourself right now... put yourself in your wife's shoes... you can't have your cake and eat it too. You're wasting HER time, she could be out getting over you while you're fantasizing about this woman that's probably screwing someone else.

[9ine]

Agreed. If you had to choose again right now would you make the same decision? You just don't want to hurt her after 20 years. I get it. I'm 15 years in and things suck for us and I get hit on every week and have to turn girls away. It's hard! I'm at the crossroads right now and even though I haven't done anything, it's getting harder and harder to justify my marriage.

But if I am going to a move like you did, I'm going all in. If you stay with your wife, this other girls always going to be in the back of the both of your heads unless.you write her off but the damage is done. Itsent just a matter if it's worth repairing at this point.

[melancholia]

You should probably file for divorce before you even consider going after this other woman. Seriously, figure your sh!t out. Why is that so hard for people to do? Do you not have any respect for your wife or your marriage at all? If you don't, put her and yourself out of misery, and just get a divorce. It's not rocket science, dude.