I need advice on Sex from a woman's perspective

[Natalia_23]

Hi

I am a male 34 years of age and my gf is 40, we have been together for 1.5 years, in this time she has never given me a BJ. I questioned her what is wrong, she said because of the smell, I said i can wash it, but then there was no comment. I then questioned her well in the past she gave them to other men so why not me, then she said she was young then, now she is 40 it's not nice for her. Is this normal?

Also I want to pleasure her everytime we have sex, but she said it is not necessary and she don't like it all the time. Few times I mentioned I can use vibrator on her, but she said no, she does not allow me to use vibrator on her. I then question her why she does not allow me to do things to her and then she says I always complain.

I also find it difficult to approach her for sex during the week, and I always make her initiate it.

Should it be like this? because I can only compare to previous relationships and they were very open to trying things so for me this is normal.

What am I doing wrong here? Should I take a break from Sex?

[pcmaster]

It seems shes not into sex that much. You could do better with younger girl who are more into it.

[melancholia]

It sounds like this has been an issue since the beginning of your relationship, which unfortunately means it's unlikely to change. Nobody is obligated to do anything they don't want to do with their partner, sexually or otherwise, so she is within her rights to refuse sex, or certain aspects of it. That doesn't mean it's fair to you, though, and I think you may need to re-evaluate the relationship at this point. Think about what is important to you in a relationship and how important sex is for you. For some people, it's low on the list of importance, and for others it's high... it just depends on the person and everyone is different. That's why it's so important to choose a partner whom you are compatible with, sexually, emotionally, mentally, etc. After 1.5 years together, you should still have an exciting sex life, and it sounds like you are bored and frustrated, and that would bother anybody.

I'm not saying you should break up with her tomorrow, but I think you need to carefully consider your needs and expectations for a relationship, and then see whether or not she is capable of meeting those needs. I think it's much better to decide that now, than waste your time trying to coax her into sex when she doesn't want it. You will both feel frustrated, resentful, and unhappy and nobody wants that from a relationship.

[hazey daisy]

You should take a break......a breakup. Nothing worse than being sexually incompatible. I agree with the above post, you don't want to be stuck in a relationship of frustration and resentment. You already communicated very well with her and was willing to accommodate, but she kept hitting you with resistance. Time to move on.