no contact for 6 months

[mrdeemar]

I just dont get the logic in this, I love you but dont contact me for 6 months ... could this be true love ?????



Hi sweetheart,

I met with a counsellor today. It is being strongly recommended that we not keep in contact. The way it was put to me is that our contact is like little bandaids stopping the immediate hurt but it does nothing for the healing what needs to be done. I was told that I could give you no greater gift than the dignity to heal yourself for yourself. The counsellor sensed my deep love for you and said I need to do this because I love you. It was suggested no contact for a year, or if we feel okay about it, six months. If it's okay with you, I'd like to have some contact in six months.

No contact will mean, no emails, not texts, no phone calls, no visits. We'll have to assume the other wishes the other a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Birthday, Happy Valentine's Day.

I was asked if you suffered a loss of someone important as a child or teenager. Apparently such a loss can lead to a lot of very confusing feelings. It has only just occurred to me that not only did you have to suffer that loss of your dad and later your brother, but you were separated from you mother too for a time while living with other family. That is very hard on anyone let alone a small child. I mean, look at us now, feeling so alone when we are separated. I can't imagine as a child.

I am not doing this against you. I am doing this for you and for me. As soon as the counsellor used the bandaid analogy I thought oh my gosh, that is what I've been doing too. I miss you and when we can connect it is soothing to me but does nothing for the big picture.

I also have work to do. I have recommended reading and a workbook to get. I have to figure out how to get on with my life and what that is.

Please know that I have faith in you. I think you can do this if you want to. When you are shinning, you have the strongest light I've ever seen! This could take a long time as some healing occurs slowly but I have such faith in you.


With love

[S0NofHAM]

I think time = love. To answer your question: I think sadly, no, it is not true love.

I asked for more time from my last partner from Day 1. I also poured my heart out to her from day 1 and was an open book (I moved a little too fast). She never wanted to give me her time, and would give a few hours a day, a few days per week. I fell in love after 2 months, but she hadn't fallen yet. We had a rocky relationship, but I loved her strongly so we managed for 8 months.

The common thread that always occurred with us is that I was always asking for more of her time, and she was never giving it to me. After we broke up three weeks ago, I've been crying multiple times every day basically, and she told me that she hasn't cried once since we broke up and that she doesn't love me anymore.

I think for that to be the case, she never loved me a lot to begin with, so I never really had her. She had me, but I didn't have her. I was blinded by love and assumed she was as passionate for me as I was for her, but she wasn't. Looking back, I realize that since she never wanted to give me her time, that shows that she didn't really love me that much.

Time=Life
Life=Love
Therefore Time = Love