Sex & Dating - How long is too long to wait?

[shh!]

She is probably being very cautious considering she has a small child, and I think that is very good, but you should talk about the trajectory of your relationship.

[blackiesharley]

She is probably being very cautious considering she has a small child, and I think that is very good, but you should talk about the trajectory of your relationship.

I've thought about the child aspect too. I respect that. And the talk? Hopefully soon but I'm not quite comfortable pushing it right now.

Like another poster said, I should go with her clues, which are all (overall) good.

[whaywardj]

Eight weeks? That's all? I agree with Tone: It'll happen when it happens. Chill. Think about it from her perspective: Maybe, last time she went that way, out popped a life-long responsibility. Don't you imagine you'd be considerably more conservative about sleeping with a woman if you were having the babies? Birthcontrol nothwithstanding. It's an emotional thing. There's also this: Maye she has an STD. I went out with a woman a few months before she finally acknowledged that she'd avoided having sex with me all that time -- although she wanted to -- because she had herpes and didn't know how to tell me.

[smilingeyes]

How old is her son? I'm a single mom w/3 small kids and I believe she wants to be with you.... she just can't. If she trust you enough, find a sitter for her. Do all the planning yourself. My BF did that for me and it totally blew me away. He took the time to get me a sitter and make plans for us, because I was just too overwhelmed to do something like that. I don't make a lot of money and I get nothing, financially or otherwise from my ex so it is really hard. Babysitters are expensive. He took the initiative, set everything up and we had a wonderful time all by ourselves. He even introduced me to another friend of his, a single mom, and now we watch each others kids whenever we need a break or want to go out. You might want to try something like that. Take all of the pressure off her. I can tell you from experience how difficult it is to juggle a job, a family, and a new relationship.

[indigosoul]

She is probably being very cautious considering she has a small child, and I think that is very good, but you should talk about the trajectory of your relationship.

I agree w/Shh and would add that one of the topics you might discuss is your feelings about sex. Try to do this w/o pressuring her. Maybe an intimate, yet public place (quiet restaurant for an evening out you've arranged as suggested by someone else), so she won't feel pressed upon (sorry, pun unintended).

The sex thing is very personal. I know ppl who can get their dates into the sack VERY quickly (under 5 dates), which, personally, I think is very fast. For some, sex is related w/more a more intimate connection. For others, it is no big deal. For others its becomes a big deal (that shouldn't , perhaps) if the sex thing is withheld too long. So you need to find out. Ask, IMO.