People who have married their spouse less than 2 years of knowing them...

[wDEgYwwrr]

...how did it turn out?

My boyfriend and I have been going out since January 2016. We've known each other maybe since October 2015. I would like to propose to him (I'm female). I feel like I'm committed and I reciprocate well. For example he treats me well so I treat him well. We have a great friendship which for me is very important as I feel that feelings could disappear later on a relationship (it could happen in any relationship). He's stable and I trust him 100%. And I dunno, the prospect of spending my life together with someone just seems appealing. I know my family and friends are going to be shocked if we do get engaged as they didn't even know we were a couple until recently. And if we do get engage I would probably want the wedding to be soon after. I just have a good feeling about this . If you have been married while knowing your partner for less than 2 years how did it turn out? Thankyou in advance -jiraawwrr

[TheEvilJester]

I cannot comment from experience as I have never done that myself. It certainly CAN work, however I personally would advise against rushing into it. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you need to date somebody 10 years or anything like that before deciding to get married. I'm just saying, don't be in such a rush to find the right person that you get married the moment you think you are in love.

You say that you worry that these feelings could disappear later in the relationship. The thing is, if those feelings disappear, for you, for him, or for both, then that was bound to happen either way. It would still happen even if you DID get married, and then you'd be faced with either being stuck with somebody you no longer love or having to go through a divorce. Marriage isn't something you do SO THAT your life won't go away.... it is something you do because you feel in your heart that your love will never go away.... that you can't see living your life without this person.

If you two really are meant to be, then you will feel just the same a year, or two, or three down the road. So, there is no reason to rush things. Don't get me wrong. If you honestly do feel like it feels right for you, and are confident it would feel right for him as well, then you have to do what feels best for you. I'm just saying, you are early enough in the relationship that most people would still feel pretty in love at this point. They call it the "honeymoon phase."

You need to get to the point where the relationship isn't so exciting and new anymore and you kind of become comfortable with each other. At that point, if you find yourself still in love.... heck perhaps even MORE in love because you now know each other, faults and all, and love each other for it, that is a good sign that maybe it is the right match.

Good luck to you either way! Love can be a great thing when you have the right partner. I hope you've found yours.

[wDEgYwwrr]

Thankyou Theeviljester
I guess what I was meaning to say that I value our friendship because I know that "lusty" feelings eventually go away and that's why I believe lots of people get divorced - their marriage is built on feelings. I'm an agnostic but the saying in the bible rings true that "love is not passive" meaning that it is not a feeling - you can't just feel that you love someone and that's it
If you love someone you have to be active e.g. doing things for them which we have been doing for each other. If it weren't for the short period we've known each other i wouldn't be second guessing anything, atleast i think i wouldn't be :/. I guess in light of recent events I have realised what qualities I value more now it's just I don't know, I'm not feeling overly madly in love like I'm supposed to feel? But again, maybe it's just coz I'm generally not an overly emotional person :/ but again, thanks for your reply it was sound advice

[TheEvilJester]

Yeah, I couldn't agree more with you on that. I think, in this day and age, too many people take marriage (and divorce, for that matter) way too lightly. They don't take it seriously enough and that is a big part of why, in my country, over half of marriages end in divorce. I have always felt people think love should always feel so amazing and explosive. So exciting and new. So, when it no longer feels that way, they think that means they are no longer in love. The truth is, you always eventually settle into a relationship, and then it doesn't feel exciting and new anymore....

BUT that shouldn't be a bad thing. Like I said, that should be the time when you know basically everything about each other. You know each other warts and all. If, at that point, you still love each other, that is a GOOD thing, not a bad thing.

Anyway, like I said, I think nobody knows you better than you know yourself. So, perhaps you are at a place where you feel your fella could well be the right one.... or maybe you need more time to let the relationship grow. You do have to do what feels right to you. I do think it is always best to give it time. Like I said, if you've found the right relationship, it won't cease to be the right relationship. So, you certainly shouldn't wait forever, but there's no reason to rush to take it that next level.

Good luck to you either way.

[Aquafresh]

I got married to my boyfriend of 2 years. Unfortunately we didn't share enough to know each other before getting married. I always wanted to live in the same house with my partner before marrying him, but the opportunity never presented it. As time passes by, I noticed that he was not truly ready to be in a committed relationship, he is not mature enough for the responsabilities of being married.

Congratulations for making this desicion and wanting to move to a more serious chapter with your partner, my only advise will be to make sure you both are on the same page, that this is what you both want! Good luck on everything.

[wDEgYwwrr]

Thankyou Aquafresh. Now that I think about it I do feel a bit of uncertainty from his side :/ hmm. I have read your thread as well but cannot really provide sound advice as I am not or have been in that situation. I should probably stop being so eager and wait awhile longer :/