On Hold or Being Dumped?

[Andreario]

Can someone give me their interpretation of this message?

😊Good Morning Andrea.
I wanted to reach out to you and ask that we put our potential relationship on hold. I want to be fair and truthful to you because I care. I have some soul searching to do and some issues I must handle. I'm very attracted to you and could very easily fall head over heels for you. I'm just not ready for that at this moment. I adore you and enjoy the kisses and times we have had together. I know I'm taking a chance right now because you're the kind of woman every man wants, At least from my perspective, and someone may sweep you off your feet.

Please understand this, as I am still a work in progress. God is not finished with me yet! I hope we can remain the best of friends for now and I feel quite certain that my issues will heal, or disappear, and I can snuggle up and settle in with someone soon!

I'm sure you're sleeping right now, but this has been weighing heavy on my mind and I wanted to let you know where I am in my life. Because I do think you are so "bonita, doce e gentil!"😊😘😍😘😊

And
This was my response:

Please know that this was a very sweet message and that I knew something wasn't quite right and I do appreciate your honesty, truly.. I do hope that what ever it is that you are facing or going through will resolve itself and that you are able to (as you wrote) find someone to snuggle with soon).. I too, as you know, have been needing time to sort things through in my heart before considering a relationship. Nonetheless, of course we can remain the best of friends!

You are adorable as well, Andrea
😊😍😘

[S0NofHAM]

...ask that we put our potential relationship on hold...
...I'm very attracted to you and could very easily fall head over heels for you. I'm just not ready for that at this moment...

I think we need more information...

You ask if your relationship is on hold or are you being dumped, but he said "put our potential relationship on hold..."

It sounds as though you are not in an official relationship, and the bf/gf status has not yet officially been declared. It seems like he's getting scared and considering balking. If I were you and if I really liked the guy, then I would try to convince him to date me now and forget his little time out. If I were you and I didn't like the guy that much, I'd just let it pan out and let him make the next move.

Also, you should ask him if it's possible for you to keep dating while he gets his life in control, and if he needs to skip a date here or there to take care of his business, then you won't mind not seeing him some nights. If you really like him, then tell him that you don't want him to see any other girls and you really like him. If he likes you back, then he'll appreciate that comment.

[TheEvilJester]

To be honest, this is one of those cases where we'd have to be able to read minds to know for sure. Since you can't, and I assume none of us can either, we don't know for sure any more than you do. This could be just his way of letting you down easy because he hopes that way it won't hurt your feelings.....

Or it could 100% actually be the truth word for word. That he truly COULD see falling in love with you.... but just isn't ready for that right now.

What I can say, though, is that I think your course of action doesn't change no matter which is the case. So, in that I can at least offer my personal advice. I would personally suggest you move on with the assumption that you two are permanently over. That he's not interested in you. The reason I say that is you should never waste your time holding your life in limbo for somebody/something that may never be anything more. For now, treat it like a break-up and move on. If you meet somebody else in the time it takes him to feel healed, then that is good for you. If he suddenly decides he wants a second chance with you..... but it turns out to be too late because you've met somebody else, then that is his loss not yours.

On the other hand, if you move on, he eventually heals and feels ready for love and decides he wants a second chance with you..... AND you happen to still be single at the time, then you can feel free to consider giving him a second chance then. So, it's not like it is definitely impossible he actually meant what he said. It's just, you shouldn't wait around for him/

That said, if it isn't too hard for you to do so, you can certainly remain friendly or even friends with him for the time being. I'd just say, if doing so holds you back from looking for love elsewhere, then better just to make a clean break.

Good luck to you either way.

[dontaskme]

Ugh, he just dumped you trough text. He didn't have the nerve to do it in person so he thought he'll do it trough text and say something nice to let you down easy.

[TheEvilJester]

Wait.... yeah, somehow I kind of forgot that little aspect. He wasn't even man enough to do this face to face, he did to do it through a text (or e-mail, or whatever). Admittedly, that does sort of lean me even more towards thinking it was probably just his cowardly way of thinking he was letting you down easy.

Doesn't really change my advice any, though. I still recommend you treat it as though it were a breakup. If he happens to change his mind down the road, and that winds up being at a time you are still single, you could certainly consider giving him a second chance then, but frankly I couldn't even blame you if you didn't. Bottom line, though, don't wait around for somebody under such uncertainty. He may never change his mind and then you'll have wasted your time over nothing. Time in which you could have been finding somebody else.

Good luck!

[lovebroken]

Notice he said " someone" and not you. Huge thing IMO, Andrea. He didn't say you and for that I would take it as a break up and move on and don't wait for this guy to come around and want to be with you as a partner. Also, far too much flattery in his message people who do that do it for a tactic, know that too. He may feel most of what he said but it was to soften any anger you could feel off what he said and keep you on his side.

[Andreario]

Thank you everyone! I certainly had no interest in giving him a second thought.., And I certainly will not even waste a breath much less time over him.. I just wanted to have your thoughts on this and all your points were very valid!

Again, thank you!!