Bf of 2 years won't tell parents about me?!

[freckles14]

I've been with him for about 2 years now. We do have a history in our school days, but we aren't the same people that we used to be. I don't know if I am overreacting or if this is a red flag. Every time I bring it up to him, he tries to avoid the topic. They live in the same town as us, and it just makes me resent him for not telling them. I knew it would bother him if I didn't tell my parents about us, so I told them a couple months after we started dating. They let him come over and invite him to sports games and all that kind of stuff. I didn't want to tell them at first for a while, but then I did and everything turned out alright. He keeps saying he is scared to tell his parents, but he doesn't even live with them. I want to be involved with his family. I'd like to be invited over to their house for breakfast with him and with the holidays coming up, I'd like to spend christmas with him and he told me he wants to spend it with me as well. But thats not going to be possible if they don't know. It's just frustrating me, because he promised me he would tell them and its been about 6 months since he made that promise and he still hasn't told them. His mom and dad really liked me back in high school and he said he didnt get them involved in our relationship problems back then. So I don't know....Am i overreacting? Or what is up with him? I feel like he gets annoyed everytime I ask, so I've been trying to convince myself its nothing. He said we are in a serious relationship. I don't get how he can keep me a secret. I like talking about him to my family...i don't understand how he doesn't.
Its seriously bothering me, but I don't want to annoy him anymore or pressure him to tell his parents. Please help. Sometimes I just really want to be able to go tell his parents myself but I won't do that. Its just been 2 years and I would like to be part of his family life as well.

The reason I am bringing this up now is because on Thanksgiving, we will be working together and carpooling to and from work, and I asked him if we can spend thanksgiving night together and he said hes going to drop me off at home and go to his parents. His sisters are allowed to bring their bf's to dinner so why can't i go.
Thank you

[S0NofHAM]

Your bf is definitely tripping. Two years is a very long time, and he should have told his parents about you after two months in, just like you did.

If I were you, I would keep insisting on meeting his parents. If he gets mad or defensive, then ask him why he's getting defensive and get to the bottom of it. He should not be embarrassed of you; he should be proud of you. He should want to spend Thxgiving with you and both families.

Slap some sense into him. Tell him stop to being a punk. It is highly unacceptable that he hasn't had you meet his parents yet, especially since you've been asking and he promised to already.

[TheEvilJester]

I agree with Ham in that there is no excuse for him to still not have told them. I mean, I usually try to offer possible perspectives from BOTH sides when I can here to help people consider things from both perspectives..... but frankly this is not a case where I can do that. I see no sensible reason why he'd be with you for TWO YEARS but still feel the need to hide you from those who are closest to him.

To be honest, that makes me think of him as more of an immature child than a grown adult. He's too afraid to tell Mommy and Daddy about his girlfriend? Come on! Honestly, my personal advice would just be to move on. You need a man, not an overgrown child. But, assuming that is not what you want to do, I'd agree with Ham's advice of talking to him about it. I don't think I'd also suggest basically berating him about it.

More so, I'd suggest a calmer, sit down conversation where you discuss it rationally. Say things to him like "Listen, I really enjoy what we have and want to be able to continue that. To me, our loved ones knowing about that is part of that. I don't want to tell you what to do, though, so help me to understand why you've been so reluctant to tell your parents about us. Maybe we can talk it through together and help you to feel more comfortable opening up about us, or if nothing else at least maybe that will help me better understand why you've been reluctant."

The thing is, whether or not it is his intention, how does he not see how this would make you worry whether or not he is serious about you? You're not his dirty little secret. If he wants any kind of serious relationship with you, he needs to grow up, man up, and become official with you. If his parents were to disapprove, then that is THEIR problem. Sounds like they probably would be fine with it, though, so maybe the hang up is with him. If he can't man up, then maybe you need to move on. I hope it doesn't have to come to that, but I more so hope you care enough about yourself to do what is best for you, even if it may not be the easy thing at first.

Good luck!