so i am the dumbest girl alive! its official

[Tone]

Don't let us down now! But more importantly - don't let yourself down...

[indigosoul]

Now, I have only briefly scanned this thread (apologies), but I was drawn by the "emotional abuse" aspect, having a moderate amount of experience w/this kind of relationship.

Funny thing about the internet... you almost always can find someone, somewhere who will completely agree with you and tell you what you want to hear, for good or for ill.

I have read of abuse from BOTH parties in this situation. And, no matter what the provocation, the decision to descend to this level is ALWAYS the personal responsibility of the abusing party. No one can ever MAKE you do this. I agree that you need time away from your partner, however, I would caution you to look within yourself to what drove you to your own responses and address those issues. They WILL come up again, with this partner or the next. Nothing is EVER one-sided. Good luck.

[Lindz25]

WOw, my thread is still drawing attention
tahnks for the comment indigosoul...
I am done with my ex. He already has someone new(well 2 girls now so he SAYS!) he lied to me about being with one of the girls and put my health at risk so trust me, i am done with him.
and i agree with u on the emotional abuse part. I have said some things to him that were not smart of me and i totally own up to them! I should not have put him down for ANY reason and i should not have yelled at him either. im not defending my actions here but, when you are continuely dumped, told ur stupid, basically that you're not good enough (and constantly replaced with someone else), you want to defend yourself to that person. a person can only take so much of being hurt and lied to and "replaced'. Yes it was my fault for not getting rid of him the first time any of that happened, but we all make mistakes and we learn and grow from them. trust me, the entire relationship was a mistake and im glad i finally can see that now! i know now what not to take from a guy and what to look for in one!

[Only-virgins]

I avoid girls like you

Im with this guy.

i avoid people that intentionaly avoid other girls

Thats because you can't pick and choose to avoid or not. They all avoid you so you jump for the chance when you get it. Whore or not. Dont worry. Most of my male friends I know are just like that so you are not alone hahahaha.

[Lindz25]

not true. he never avoided me when we first started. he's the one who came to me! begged for me to hang out with him as much as i could, he's the one who sad i love you first...WAY before i said it...
so your theory on ME is WAY off! lol!! i dont go for guys who dont want me or who make it a challenge to get them. he was coming to me all the time. and once he got me in love with him, thats when he started changing into this negative being. ive only ever had 3 boyfriends and they persued me...so i kno why you would think i want guys who dont want me by the way he acted, but sorry. he didnt start acting that way til i was in love with him and commited to him200%

[Only-virgins]

not true. he never avoided me when we first started. he's the one who came to me! begged for me to hang out with him as much as i could, he's the one who sad i love you first...WAY before i said it...
so your theory on ME is WAY off! lol!! i dont go for guys who dont want me or who make it a challenge to get them. he was coming to me all the time. and once he got me in love with him, thats when he started changing into this negative being. ive only ever had 3 boyfriends and they persued me...so i kno why you would think i want guys who dont want me by the way he acted, but sorry. he didnt start acting that way til i was in love with him and commited to him200%

I was talking to RSK. You might notice how his words are quoted. No one said anything about how your BF acted or not. We are talking about how we would act hand job lady.

[Tone]

haha he called you "hand job lady".

[Lindz25]

how clever and funny....

[independent]

It's called "manipulation". And it SUCKS.

I noticed in your most recent posts you mentioned "he said" he was moving on with 2 new girls yada yada yada - how are you receiving this info? Got your cell number changed? Put him on Iggy if he is on an online messenger - if its email, set up a filter to send his notes straight to the trash bin.

He knows how to push your buttons. Cut off contact, and he cant do that anymore.


(And I'm one to talk, eh? Yes, this thread was a big eye opener for me. My guy was/is a manipulator too...)

[mini696]

These sort of guys use guilt to keep you coming back. He uses you when it suits him, just like he is using this 19yo to help him "get over you" when things go bad. It sounds like you are both abusive, maybe he has forced you to be (treat him the way he treats you), but I also get the feeling you both are always trying to get one up on the other, and be the one with the last word.

Good on you for leaving him behind. But how do you know he has been with more girls if you arent in contact?

[Lindz25]

I heard he was with girl(s) from several ppl. I dont live in a huge city so things get around pretty quickly.
My cell # is changed, adn i do have a new email ady(and yea he's been blocked on my past email addy so trust me he has NO way of getting in contact with me unless he comes to my house, which he knows better not to do. my dad is a cop! )
see i never had a temper until i got deeply involved with him. I dont have one at all when im not with him. im not stressed with im without him. His ex's before me went thru the same thing. they turned into ppl with tempers (only towards him mind you) and they too were overly stressed when they weer with him. its really sick what he does to girls! he does things and he somehow turns it around to be the girls fault. and i do feel bad for the new girl(s) in his life bc they think he is the innocent one and his ex's are all making these stories up. they'll find out soon enough.
im not defending my yelling at him for lieing to me and my paranoya of other girls, im just saying that he did make me that way! if he didnt have girls on the side, if he didnt lie about girls, if he didnt sneek around then the anger and paranoya would never have existed! And i didnt really see it until i started becoming friends with an ex of his! it all became so clear of what he did to me! i have wrinkles on my forehead because i was sooo stressed and a very depressed person when i was with him! but i tell you, it feels soooo good to be my normal, happy, cheerful self again! now its just getting rid of them damn wrinkles LOL!

[Only-virgins]

how clever and funny....

I get that all the time hand job lady.

[independent]

I can relate to what you are saying Lindz. I dont like the person I have become (during this relationship) at all. And I have resorted to childish bickering on a few ocassions, which I hate.

Last year I went so far as to whack him right in the head. I had never hit anyone in my life. I didnt realize - until then - just how much pent up anger and frustration that I had.

I dont like feeling that way. But someone that lies, is disrespectful, manipulative, etc... well, they are very very hard to live with. Best you and I both move on with our lives. Way on.

[Lindz25]

I get that all the time hand job lady.

...real mature buddy.

Independent, I smacked my ex too. and i NEVER hit anyone before in my life either. i regret smacking him but like you said...you never know how much anger and frustration u have pent up.. im glad im away from the drama and the anger and the lies! if he had a way of contacting me i guarentee he'd be guilting me into seeing him or making everything my fault yet again. but i tell ya, ive never been so calm as i am now that im away from him! it's great!

[blue_moon2]

I would never hit a guy or knee him in the nuts!

just think its taking advantage..