DIGNITY vs LOVE

[Oshin]

Hi advisor

I tried allot to solve my relationship problem by myself, unfortunately I failed. Hope you won't.

My lover is a mariner. We live in same city. Despite causing distance, his profession just multiplies my love and respect for him. He was brought up in a big family in ignorance as he lost his mom in early childhood.

We get very less time to talk due to continuously changing timezones, my research and his job shifts. I could meet him only once in an year during his vaccations. Being surrounded by professional men all the time, he lacks the sense of equality and respect for women.

This is his 1st relationship. Few of his mariner friends have suffered dishonest long distance relationships. He doesnt want that to happen with him.

I cut off myself from male friends, shared passwords of my social accounts with him.To gain his trust, I even got intimate with him to prove my purity, which he doubted as its my 2nd relationship. Even after doing these he is unable to trust me. He just blocks my male relatives (as no male frnd is left anymore) randomly from my social account. Threatens me that he will abuse me and them publically, if I re-add them.

I defend myself allot. Our each argument takes an aggressive turn and ends with verbal abuse against me and my family. This is causing loss of my dignity and self respect.

I have gone beyond my limits to sustain in this relationship as I love him more than myself.

Please help me with your advice to gain his trust and my dignity too.

Waiting for it!!!

OSHIN.

[pcmaster]

Keep your dignity. Love should be easy. Not like this. Guy have paranoia and you suffer from it. Find someone who will be close to you all the time. Long distance is not worth it.

[violete]

Even by trying to gain his trust, you will never get your dignity back. Because you will be once again, doing only what he wants, obeying his wishes, giving him everything. Along with your dignity.
I understand that some people have trust issues and everything, but have you ever given him a reason to doubt you?
If he is doing it just to feel better and feel safe, he will always need it and no matter what you do, he will never trust you. It HIS problem, not yours.