No Spark?!?

[Dazed&Confused]

I have been with my current boyfriend for over 12 months. When we first met I wasnt instantly attracted to him but I feel in love with his personality. Looking back now, the first kiss we shared I didn't feel that "new romance spark". I had just come out of a 5 year relationship where the spark had well and truley died years before so I am guessing at the time I didnt think anything of it. Now looking back I am wondering why I missed this feeling. I am also becoming even less sexually attracted to him, and I know that it is purely superficial things that is causing this, because I do still love spending time with him.

Do you think this means that we were just destined to be friends? Even though if I break up with him I know we never will be. Is there a way to get this spark?

[giulia]

There are many ways to get the spark back into your realtionship...but do you honestly want to do it? If so, you need to change your thinking. Look at all his good points, not the bad. Surf the internet for tips on adding a bit of oomph. It's really possible, but it sort of seems that your heart isn't really in it. I think maybe it is a better option in the long run to move on.I hope that whichever option you choose it works out for you

[Dazed&Confused]

How do I get it back if i never had it in the first place. Its just so dissapointing that we clicked, have so much in common and are the perfect couple in every other avenue. It's just when it came to chemistry it just didn't/hasn't happened for me.

I am just really feeling like a superficial little brat.

[giulia]

If that is the case then the relationship isn't fair on you. You need to be with someone you have that chemistry with. It is really unfortunate that he has said he will not be friends, but maybe time will change his mind. It's obvious that you 2 were meant for friendship more than a relationship. I don't think you are superficial at all. You aren't getting what you need and you deserve to get it

[TAVS]

That's rough. I dont think you're being superficial. Somehow I doubt he is butt ugly, he just isn't your type physically and there's nothing wrong with that. I think that if there is no spark, it's just going to come tumbling down in time anyway. Sounds like he's a rebound guy

[Tone]

I tend to think it's really up to the man to provide that spark.. I mean if he isn't goin out his way to do things for you, his woman, and tryin to always sweep you off your feet then sure there won't be much of the spark.

I'd have a talk with him about it... lay it on the table and see how he reacts, whether or not he starts taking some more initiative.