You see there's this flirt, I mean girl

[taystsgr8]

that has me spinning round & round & I'm wondering "Is it love?"

Here goes:

We work together. 12 months ago we began our courtship. 4 months into it, we broke apart. I hate to use the word break, but we couldn't seem to get along. Constant bickering over NOTHING...absolutely nothing. For example, she said i was nice to everyone & that i didn't make her feel more special than anyone else we knew or worked with. she also felt un-appreciated around the holidays (Christmas, New Year's & her B-day) - I guess I didn't spend enough $ on her.

I was mean & rude and truly felt rejected by her. i made a lot of mistakes for which I am sorry (mean messages, texts, e-mails) i thought she was controlling & manipulating me for her own benefit. so for the next 6 months we didn't even look in eachother's direction. then one day we get into a little tiff about a work related issue. 5 minutes later she sends me an apology e-mail and ends it with "BTW- you've been looking really good lately." I fell for it-hook, line & sinker. now we've been courting for about 3 months. I really feel like I love her & I may be expressing it too much for her to handle because she seems to be backing off like she did the first go at it.

I want to trust her but I don't 100% and she knows this. She has been the light for me 6 out of the last 12 months. I hope I haven't been depending on her to make me feel better, cuz that would be silly. I am trying to follow my heart but my brain can't wait to tell it "I told you so" if things don't work out.

NOW THE QUESTION: HOW DO I LET GO OF MY FEARS & TOTALLY TRUST SOMEONE? OR DO I LISTEN TO MY BRAIN & RUN THE PHUCK AWAY?

[TAVS]

Well you worded the question in an interesting fashion. First, yes you should let go of your fears aand trust her. Second, you're not going to be able to. Third, move on and find someone you're better suited for.

[Debunkt]

for serious. Chances are, if you got into squabbles over nothing before, and she's acting hesitant towards your emotions, same shit is gonna happen again (and again and again and again if you let it). Go find someone who's more in tune with you and your needs.

[taystsgr8]

please don't let me slip down the thread list....I need a new perspective on this girl. I think all logic has disappeared.

[Junsui]

Of course all logic has disappeared. When it comes to emotions, logic always disappears. I wouldn't get back into a relationship with her. If things seem to be repeating, then it's only going to end the same way.

[taystsgr8]

I wasn't quite sure if I came to the right place when I first posted. But now I know I was lost...thanks for the help folks. I promise to come back when I do find that person more in tune with me. I must admit: the advice was dead on accurate. I've made a promise to myself to let this one fly away. Hopefully this bird won't sh!t on me again

[Rosebud]

Good luck to you!

[CircleC]

I think that if you are still able to ask yourself if she is right for you, then she still might be. You guys went through some crappy times, but if you talk about them and make sure you each understand the other's feelings and perspective, it might work out. there is a cliche here somewhere. oh yes, what doesn't kill the relationship, may make it stronger.