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Thread: Should you date if you don't love yourself?

  1. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by lovelorn lassie View Post
    I would like to be more self confident, but I don't think I am worthy of self love. I'd like to move to another town and get a dog, go to the gym and go out more. Obviously I want a job too. I only have part time ones just now. If I was less negative that would help. I am doing mindfulness. That teaches self compassion so iI need to do more of it. And keeping busy is important for me.
    How are you achieving that?
    What did you do/plan to achieve that?
    Who is responsible for you being negative?
    What are you negative about?
    If you think I am insulting you with my post or bashing you: You do not get the point.
    I am not here to insult or bash anyone. I offer up my free time to help. Take from my post what is useful to you.
    If you are angry about my post or myself, then please stop and think how that happened. Usually that is the way the brain responds if a critical belief system is challenged (its called cognitive dissonance). If you have trouble with it please answer in the thread. I will come back to you.

  2. #17
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    I'm actively looking for jobs, and would like to have cognitive behavioural therapy if I can afford it. I am looking for flats in another town and have contacted some letting agencies about them but only two have allowed dogs and one was in a bad area so I hesitated. It's not something that has to be done straight away so it's ok. As I say I do mindfulness. I spend a lot of time online which has kept me busy and have a new job this week. It isn't a lot of hours though.

    I have unresolved issues from being bullied at school and they have never really left me. Then of course I have the mental health diagnosis which makes me feel unlovable and a weirdo. I was called manipulative by the guy I like and of course things I have done in my life I regret. My mum + dad are critical too. I only have one friend and am wary of people because they have betrayed me in the past and I think people will avoid me if they know I have mh issues. I think I am feeling sorry for myself though.
    My self esteem is bad since I was rejected by that guy. It wasn't good anyway but that has not helped at all.

    That's about it. thanks for listening..

  3. #18
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    Do you want to share some of that experiences?
    I personally do not believe in "unresolved issues" of the past.
    You are here now. You have the power to do things differently now.

    Do you feel that all human life is worth the same?
    Do you think that people with down syndrome feel unlovvable and like a weirdo?

    Do you think you are the only person who has regret in their life?
    Do you think you are the only one who has been hurt or left or the only one who has had a very shitty breakup?
    And critical parents? None of us know those.


    I want to challenge you a little. Not wanting to be mean or something - i just want your unconcious mind to think about it for a time:

    If you have burnt yourself and cut yourself while cooking, but you absolutely liked good food and enjoyed cooking - what would you do?
    If you have been bitten by a dog, would you still have dogs and enjoy their company?
    If you enjoy something that can possibly hurt you (like a lot of things can), does it mean you cant be wary and alert and still enjoy every bit of it?
    If you think I am insulting you with my post or bashing you: You do not get the point.
    I am not here to insult or bash anyone. I offer up my free time to help. Take from my post what is useful to you.
    If you are angry about my post or myself, then please stop and think how that happened. Usually that is the way the brain responds if a critical belief system is challenged (its called cognitive dissonance). If you have trouble with it please answer in the thread. I will come back to you.

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