Would you tell a friend that their BF/GF/spouse was cheating on them?

[dollhouse]

Curious what others on here would do if you saw first hand a friend or even family members partner actually in the act of cheating...

I would tell and have told...cannot stand people who do others like that if I know and know for a fact I always make sure the other knows but I do it in a kind as you can way.

[breathe123]

Voted ~ yes! Would be a hell yes for me.

I'd want to know if it was being done to me so I'd tell if I knew it was being done to a person I cared about too.

[topazlight]

In the past I have and it turned out badly, very badly. So I voted Undecided. That past experience has made me wary to even get involved, even with a family member. People can tend to get mad at you, not the cheater and then stay with him even when they know.

[melancholia]

It depends. It depends on how close I am with the person being cheated on, and whether or not they want to know. On one hand, it's none of my business, and I may not be aware of the boundaries they've set for their relationship. However, if we are talking about cheating, then it's likely they are not in an open relationship. I would tell my close friend, because I would want to know; but it's not generally something I like to get involved in, or make my business.

[pcmaster]

Voted No. Not my bussiness. Its only two people bussines. No need to be third wheel and ruin everything. You bring the bad news you are the bad one.

[lovebroken]

I would most probably tell them especially if they have had their heart broken by a cheat before I wouldn't want them wasting their time on a fake again.

[TheEvilJester]

I voted as undecided because, for me, this is situational. It can be a tricky situation and under certain circumstances, I may feel it is not my place to say something. Though, I would typically lean towards the side of saying something. At least as long as I was certain enough that something fishy was going on. If I only suspected I don't think I would, but if I KNEW something didn't seem right, I would normally err on the side of bringing it up.

I'd rather run the risk of losing a friend if they didn't take it well than to turn a blind eye and thereby let them be hurt by this person even though I knew about it. So, I generally would err on the side of telling my friend, but it does depend on the specifics of the situation.

[richiro]

this one is a hard one and there is no blanke answer.
eery situation is unique and so i would say it depends on the people involved, the situaiton and how its unfolding, and how close that person was to me. i think it wouls also depend on - is the person coming to me advice? have they been complaining about their partner? are they happy or sad in their relationship?

See. eery couple is different. every individual is different. And unless i know or have intimate knowledge about them and what they've agreed to and want in their relationship - it's really not for me to say. How do i know they haven't agreed to have an "open relationship"? how do i know they don't have an agreement where they can both have 1 side bf/gf for whatever reasons they have? So unless what i see and what they come to me with tells me they shoudl know - I won't say anything... but i'll be there for them for any downfall that may occur from it.

[dollhouse]

There is a definite ..damned if you do...damned if you don't... aspect to the situation. Everyone seems to come at it with different POV's which is normal because no one thinks exactly alike anyhow.
[MENTION=69583]richiro[/MENTION]....say you know they are not in an open relationship, I am talking you know it is a committed relationship, no side pieces, or free passes type of coupling...you know them well enough to know what type of relationship it is, obviously if you know they are in an open one you don't think badly when you spot them kissing another like you would when you know they are monogamous.

[TheEvilJester]

You know, it's funny. Often times, when somebody breaks up with their boyfriend/girlfriend, after the fact people tell them that they didn't like the person anyway/never really thought he/she deserved them, stuff like that. Sometimes that is just people trying to be supportive, but sometimes it is because they really truly DID feel that way. So, why didn't they say anything? Most often because they could tell their friend was in love and they didn't want to mess with that. Because maybe they figured the things they saw were maybe just isolated incidents and that they were just worried because it was their friend. Because they didn't want to hurt their friend's feelings or possibly cause trouble when maybe they were just over-reacting.

When somebody is caught in the act of cheating.... that's a whole different story. It's still situational, but again.... as I said, I would tend to lean towards bringing it up. To me, it is a huge difference if I just feel like somebody doesn't treat my friend well/doesn't appreciate them. If they treat my friend poorly, my friend is the one directly involved in that. They can figure that out for themselves and decide if they are okay with it, if it can be fixed, or if enough is enough. But, when there is something that was done behind their back, how are they supposed to deal with what they are not even aware took place?

I know this is an extreme example, but I kind of think of it like if I were to witness a murder. If I don't speak up, a murderer may get away when I could possibly have helped the authorities be able to bring them to justice. Whereas if I saw somebody J walking.... I'm not going to run down a cop and tattle.

[Jffs24]

Yep -- and have told some of my male and female friends have really broken pickers rofl and always end up with cheats and to snap of them out of it you have to go to them and slap them in the face with the real hard truths.

[megvoh]

I voted Yes for the same reasons other said Yes. It's the right thing imo to do. If you know, you say, you don't keep it a secret.

[lovebroken]

My cousin just told her best friend that her boyfriend of a year was cheating on her and showed her picture evidence of it. Ouch! She wasn't angry at my cousin only at the boyfriend and apparently she cried a lot, as you might imagine. Bet they don't break up.

[richiro]

case by case.. but in general if its my friend or family being cheated on by somebody else i only know thru my friend/family - i more likely will let them know then not.
if it were my friend/family cheating on somebody else - i'd probably give them the talk and be like 'what are you DOING? this needs to stop"

[melancholia]

Two of my friends had cheated on each other, none of us told either of them because we assumed it would come out eventually. It did and they are still together, so it is definitely case-by-case. It depends on the level of friendship I have with the person, and whether or not I know 100% if their SO cheated, and if they would want to know.