Mixed signals...what to do/how to interpret

[SumGuyinFL]

Hey everyone - I am new here and joined hoping to straighten out some of my questions that seem to usually come up in some way, shape or form. So I appreciate any insight you post up

As a side note---I am the worst at picking up on hints/signals and I read too far into almost everything...which leads to my confusion.

Ok so I met this girl last wk and got her number no prob - she practically wrote it on my arm. We hung out a few days after that but my friend was being an as$ and since I was the driver I just decided to leave as opposed to messing anything up being that his attitude was slowing transfering over to me...

She contacts me this wk and we went out for lunch thursday since we happen to work fairly close to each other which was a lot of fun. For some reason she felt the need to tell me what her exs did - one was a pilot and one plays professional baseball...whats the point of that. I really dont care what they did. Anyways, when we were heading back to work I went for the good by hug which seemed weird...she didnt lean in but she didnt pull away. Damn mind games or something lol. What's that mean? SO then in my mind I was like 'wth'. She then calls like two minutes later saying she had fun and better hang out that night.

So we went out to a bar for some drinks and live music last night. She brought her best friend and sister - what does that mean??? Bringing gfs out like that? So we hit it off really well again and her friend/sister love me - so thats obviously good. etc. etc. etc.....

mixed messages like crazy tho. I have tried a few times to inititate stuff but nothing has been tossed back my way, or so it seems. Almost seems like she's having trouble making up her mind...which I dont get since she keeps calling and wanting to hang out. Would this be due to her recent breakup? guy was in the military(never saw him) tho and he was a serious ******* to her - seems like an easy decision, right? Im just tired of playing these games

help

[Tone]

Slow down, space cowboy.

It's that simple. Not everyone likes to rush into things a week after they meet them.

Drive slow, homie.

[SumGuyinFL]

Im not trying to set any records here at all - by any means. Its just that she continuously wants to hang out then its almost like she backs off. Whoknows.

[Tone]

You met her last week and you're wondering why she backs off...

Obviously - she is interested in getting to know you. And obviously - she wants to take things slow.

It's not mixed signals, it's nothing confusing, it's normal, you're making it complicated. Just sit back, relax, and go with the flow.

[shh!]

I agree with Tone, but here is a bit more to contemplate:

The bad hug may mean nothing - I find that some people are simply good at it and others just stand there like a stick. It is like a man who doesn't know how to shake hands properly. Even still, I tend to imagine people who lack warmth when hugging may be somewhat less responsive to intimacy.

The sisters/friends may be nothing as well, as you two don't really know each other yet. The ex-boyfriend stuff was probably just an attempt to make small-talk (although it does make her seem to be a bit of a show-off, which is dumb since they aren't dating her anymore).

Are you by chance typically attracted to women who are shallow? Because I am drawing a picture in my head which may not be at all representative of the facts. Maybe it is the bad-hug part...

[Vanilla Gilr]

Tone said exactly what I was gonna...slow down! Keep up this pace and she'll be headin' for the hills.

I mean...do you really want a girl that's gonna be all over you so fast? Isn't it better to take some time to get to know HER before you get physical? She's NOT sending mixed signals...she's saying loud and clear that she likes you...but she wants to take it slow...and isn't going to allow you to rush her.

By the way...maybe the most important thing I ever learned about men...none of ya'll get hints...and as soon as a woman learns this and starts telling her man what she wants and needs rather than hinting and having him miss the hints or guess...that's the day that life becomes sooooo much easier!

[SumGuyinFL]

Tone said exactly what I was gonna...slow down! Keep up this pace and she'll be headin' for the hills.

I mean...do you really want a girl that's gonna be all over you so fast? Isn't it better to take some time to get to know HER before you get physical? She's NOT sending mixed signals...she's saying loud and clear that she likes you...but she wants to take it slow...and isn't going to allow you to rush her.

By the way...maybe the most important thing I ever learned about men...none of ya'll get hints...and as soon as a woman learns this and starts telling her man what she wants and needs rather than hinting and having him miss the hints or guess...that's the day that life becomes sooooo much easier!

what pace?? She is the one who keeps contacting me and wanting to hang out.

Once again, Im not trying to do anything physical and I dont expect her to. That is not something I put very high on my list...and I alwasy wait until my SO is ready for such a step. I dont like shallow girls and I dont feel that she is one of those.

[SumGuyinFL]

something I should add is that I have nothing but the upmost respect for women...esp if they are someone I care about or would like to get to know better. I am not some horn dog looking for something intimate on the first night.

just dont want you all to confuse the purpose of my post here

[shh!]

Well, then, she might just be the bad-hugger sort of girl. The friends/sisters might just be there to scope you out and make sure she's not missing any obvious warning signs.

[SumGuyinFL]

Well, then, she might just be the bad-hugger sort of girl. The friends/sisters might just be there to scope you out and make sure she's not missing any obvious warning signs.

haha

thats what I was thinking. But I passed that b/c her sister, right before leaving, was like I'm going to let you in on a little secret...etc...I really like you and you pass' or something to that effect. Which this girl told me was rare for her sister to say b/c she usu doesnt like the guys she talks to.

[blackiesharley]

I dunno know, I'm kinda in the same boat. (See my thread ' Sex & dating, how long is too long?' on this board.)

I'm at the point now where I'm not even going to waste the mental energy trying to over-analize and figure it all out. Whatever does or doesn't happen, well that's just the way it is. When things are meant to be, they will be. Guess I've become cynical in my old age.

[peterpan2]

cant say anything that hasnt been said already...im having the same problem with a girl i like right now. if your like me you just want to know if she feels the same way about u, as u do her. she should let you know just be patient, you dont want to force yourself on her, cause that will push her further away. my old friend tried way to hard to try to get a girl and now it ends up she doesnt even want to hang out with him anymore.

[giulia]

She likes you, but is being responsible about it. You are trying to jump in there like you have been deprived for many years...she wants to be sure of you before moving to the next level. Just relax and give her space in that respect.The sister, friend thing is because she did not want to go alone and needed to be told whether you are worth going after.Don't read into it, all she is doing is testing the waters before she dives in.