unable to move on

[whlam66]

First, thank you for clicking into this post

I dated a guy 2 years ago and we weren't really a thing coz he just met me through travelling. We only hung out for nearly a month.
I clearly understand that we won't be able to be together but I couldn't help myself and fell for him as I felt great when I was with him and I guessed we both thought the same. Even though after he went back to the UK, we still kept contact and skype. He would call me after his work.

Anyway, within these 2 years, we had been like this but obviously we ended up pretty bad. Somehow he ignored me for a couple of months then he showed up again. He did that to me for twice and I know I have to move on. Now I am seeing someone for 2 months and he loves me so much but I just don't feel the sparks with him that I had with the UK guy. I am sure I do have feelings for the new one but it just isn't strong enough.

Yesterday, I had an argument with the new guy for 3 hours long and I drank alone in my room. I was quite drunk. I realized that I liked a few pictures on the UK guy's facebook and when I woke up, I remembered it and tried to delete the likes but then it tuned out that he blocked me. I felt sad at first but then I was like: finally it has no chance. Thing is it's so hard to do that and I hate the fact that deep down I still care about him. I feel like I am so stupid and I know I am clingy to him which is horrible. Can anyone help me, suggesting ways for me to move on. Right now, I still even have a thought that he would unblock me and we could be friends again because next year I will go to the uk for a year and my accommodation is quite close to him which is only an hour away. I don't do it intentionally. It's just my university is near him. Just need someone slap me and make me face the reality;(

[richiro]

you just gotta move on.. that's it. you have to let your brain do the speaking instead of the heart. you KNOW you are far too young that your dating life is over. you KNOW that there are 1B guys out there and your love life for the rest of your life isn't dependent on this 1 guy. you KNOW you have the capacity to be attracted to more than 1 guy out of 1B in the world.. ETC. ETC. ETC. you KNOW all this.. there is no magic any of the rest of us have that makes it easier for us than yo do for yourself.

but i will give you one of the best and more useful lessons you will ever learn in life and that is: there is no CAN'T.. just what you CHOOSE to do or CHOOSE to not do.

So .. every turn in life is about a decision, and what you choose. Once you choose - everything behind you is done, and now you're down the road to the next thing. that's all there is to it. CHOOSING.

So .. if you're not ready to choose yet.. that's okay. You are CHOOSING NOT TO move on yet. no problem.
when you're ready to choose to move on, then choose to move on and it will be over.

there is no CAN'T. Just what you CHOOSE or CHOOSE NOT to do.

good luck.

[primajossa]

Honestly, going through it is the way to move on. You have to go by the process of Acceptance, Letting Go and Moving On. Accept the fact first that you and him will never be together and it will impossible. Cry if you must. Stagger about that fact if you want. Be weak. Pain is just a way of leaving a gap inside our heart to accommodate more happiness to come. Don't worry about the year next year to come. Avoid the medium that you were used to contact him. It won't be easy, but at least do so. Just get through it and don't avoid any path as you go along. There's no easy way. My situation isn't any better than you, I can see that man everyday since we are neighbors, but you, you won't see him until next year. There are lots of times and days for you to forget the feelings.

[Hooo!]

Richiro said the right thing
I want to add that whatever you think you had with the wonderful guy
Didn't really happen

It happened in your mind, but if you look at it through my perspective it seems rather shit. You think it was all so wonderful? If it really really had been that wonderful for the both of you we would not have this discussion

[whlam66]

thank you
all of you! I think I feel so much better now with all of your opinions! I try to look things from different angles and now I realised I was being stupid!