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Thread: Do I forgive or move on???

  1. #1
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    Do I forgive or move on???

    My girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I found out this morning when my friend admitted to sleeping with her, and showed me the pictures he took of her naked. When I confronted my girlfriend she said its because "I'm terrible in bed". I was repeatedly sexually abused when I was 8 years old, and I find sex too hard deal with. The whole thing is too emotional for me, and she knows this. I love her so should I forgive her?

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    You didnt deserve what she did. It was not your fault. If she wanted to have better she had to take you to sex therapist and work out things or break up with you before having sex with another. Dont blame yourself. What she did was wrong.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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    Thanks but I'm still so pissed

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    No, don't forgive either one of them, what horrible people. Him having sex with his best friends girl and then taking naked pics of her to what blackmail her, post around? and her for having sex with your best friend, cheating on you her bf and then making it about you, not her. They sound like awful people. Cut them both off completely.
    “The world would be a nicer place if everyone had the ability to love as unconditionally as a dog.”

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    I had broke his damn phone

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    Agreed with the others. You gave us very few details, so in normal circumstances I'd ask if there was maybe more to the story..... but there is almost nothing that could make what they did understandable or forgivable even in the slightest.

    Let's pretend for a second that she thinks you are bad in bed.... let's pretend that you and her have discussed that at length and you outright refused to do anything about it. That you ignore her concerns and refuse to do anything to help her feel better about it.....

    That still wouldn't make what they did okay. If that were the case, the right thing for her to do is to leave you, not to cheat on you. Now, I am NOT saying that you did ignore her concerns, I'm just saying that to illustrate that even the WORST case scenario doesn't make what she did okay. I would not personally recommend you forgive her OR him. I wouldn't recommend you do anything or say anything to them, really. Don't escalate things and just make them worse for you. You don't deserve that. Just move on and forget they exist. It may be hard at first, but in time you will feel better and will realize that people who could do something like that are NOT good people and do NOT deserve you in their life.

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    She never complained about it before so I assumed that she never had a problem with me. This is pretty all there is to this story. Everything was just out of the blue, I didn't see this coming AT ALL.

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    As my old man used to say - most in life one gets fcked over by closest people.

    Anyway this experience is something to learn from. You got rid of two fake people. Think now the best thing to do is stay socially active but dont look for serious GF. Stay si gle for a while until you stop thinking daily about ex. Also therapy in meantime. Or at least counseling. Its worth to work on yourself to be able make more healthy relationships in future. Now when you got cheated it will be harder to trust girls. Except if you heal before getti g serious with girls again. You can chat for free with listeners or therapists on various websites. Like 7cups and betterhelp for example.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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    this is a double thread/post see here
    love-advice-forum/99637-girlfriend-cheated.html
    If you think I am insulting you with my post or bashing you: You do not get the point.
    I am not here to insult or bash anyone. I offer up my free time to help. Take from my post what is useful to you.
    If you are angry about my post or myself, then please stop and think how that happened. Usually that is the way the brain responds if a critical belief system is challenged (its called cognitive dissonance). If you have trouble with it please answer in the thread. I will come back to you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gemini10182 View Post
    She never complained about it before so I assumed that she never had a problem with me. This is pretty all there is to this story. Everything was just out of the blue, I didn't see this coming AT ALL.
    Okay. Then she's a complete piece of S. Don't get me wrong. I wasn't assuming she's complained about it until your ears bled and you've just ignored it. I was using that as an example to illustrate that even if that WERE the case, that cheating on you is still wrong, she should have just ended things.

    But, based on the brief nature of your story, I figured you two had probably at least talked about it, but that you thought things were okay now. Still wouldn't make what she did okay.....

    However, sounds like she's never even breathed word one of a complaint to you and just decides the adult way to deal with it is to cheat on you with your best friend. To be honest with you, now that you've shared that, it changes my opinion in one small way....

    Which is that it would not surprise me if she actually DOESN'T have any problem with you in bed..... but she just said she did as a way to further hurt you. So, frankly, I think even her pathetic "excuse" for cheating on you was BS and meant just to blatantly hurt you.

    Ignoring the bedroom, have you two been having any other problems relationship-wise? Again, I am not saying that would excuse what she did. It would still not even in the slightest. I'm just trying to wrap my own head around how it goes from you thinking you two are great to this nightmare scenario without even any warning.

    Frankly, though, it honestly doesn't matter anyway. It doesn't change the fact that they both suck as human beings and that you deserve better. I don't even care if you WERE doing something that would drive her away from you, it is still never right to cheat on somebody. You do the adult thing and you end the relationship. But, from what you tell us it sounds like there wasn't any warning at all, you've been the perfect gentleman and as far as you know things were great. Frankly, maybe she's just a frigging psycho. But, whatever the case may be, you deserve better than her. Heck, if nothing else it is good you found that out now rather than when you two became more serious,.

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    No we never had any other problems or anything. What did you mean by escalating things in what way??

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    You are giving them too much time and thought... you know they don't deserve that attention..cut them both off and out of your life.

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    seriously, just never contact them. Would you have sex with your friend's gf even if she asked you and she said her bf was terrible in bed? You won't coz you are a true friend to him. Now your "true" friend did it. What do you think? About your girlfriend, just forget about her. You deserve better than that!!!

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    Like everyone here, I was going to tell you to simply forget about them and move on. Or do you have some close realtionship to them? Like school or work? Something that prevents from the three of you be separated? Also indirectly related, have you seeked help for what happened to you when you were 8?

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