Girlfriend vs girl bestfriend

[Stephoney03]

My boyfriend and I are officially in a relationship for 6 months now. We were friends since 2014. He is one of my brother's closest friends.

I am his first girlfriend. I am 23 and he's 25. I do not know anything about his private or shall i say, "romantic pasts" because there was no one before me to begin with. But i am guessing he had flings before.

And what bugs me sometimes is his girl bestfriend. He sometimes mentions her, but not talk ABOUT her. We never really got the chance to talk about her, but whenever he mentions her, I can they were very very very close. To the point, that he is telling me how he was always there in their house, in her room, doing school projects during college days. How he would shave her legs. That time he bought her a dildo. Things like these makes me feel sick, that maybe just maybe, there was something going on with these two before. Because for me, that didnt sounded like just being best friends. Well, i dont know.


So, I am writing this to seek for an advice. Because clearly, i dont wanna get jealous over the fact that she is still in his life right now. I dont know what place she has in his life right now. I dont know how special she is for him. I want her out in his life like how a present girlfriend would want over his bf's ex. But that is just plainly selfish and immature, i know. And thinking about this drains me. And i am tired of not getting over it.

I dont wanna talk about this with my boyfriend because i just dont want to experience any awkwardness whenever she may be around or whenever he mentions her. I just wanna feel better. Help??

[Hooo!]

you dont wanna talk about it and just want to feel better?

well then: go ahead! feel better. There is noone stopping you.

[melancholia]

I think it would be easier if you just admit that you are jealous. Then you can deal with those feelings. It's very clear you are jealous of their relationship and the mysterious nature in which he talks about past experiences enhances those feelings. Jealousy is a natural, normal human emotion. We all experience it and it's OK to admit when you feel that way. Feelings of any kind are not bad, it's what we do with those feelings and how we react to them that can cause problems for us, or other people in our lives.

Do you know if he has ever hooked up with his friend before? Because none of what you said seems that crazy, it sounds like they have a particularly close relationship. When you smush all those details into one story, it sounds like it's all been done over a short period of time, when it's most likely that it all happened over a period of years. Have you ever met this friend of his? Sometimes meeting friends of our SO's is good when we feel jealous because we can put a face to the name, and we can meet the person firsthand and get a better vibe from them to figure out what their relationship is like in real life.

Have you ever talked to him about how you feel? I think you should, because he can quell your fears and let you know how he feels about you, and reinforce your own feelings and security within your relationship. It's important to remember that he is with you, not with her. He chooses to be your boyfriend, and for you to be his girlfriend, and that speaks volumes. We all have friends, of both genders, and we cannot expect anyone to drop friends just because we start dating them. I'm not saying that's what you've said or suggested, but you can work through these feelings of jealousy in a constructive, healthy way, that won't damage your relationship.