wot shud i do

[will10000]

never mind, forget it. I know how I feel about her & I'm not going to dump her

[shh!]

But I thought you didn't like her? Why would you keep a girl you don't really care for? It will only get harder to do the more time you let pass...

Also, I wanted to clarify that I don't think of e-contact (msn/forums, etc) as REAL interaction with a person. It is a very poor substitute for the real thing, since so much of a relationship is based on physical cues...

[Debunkt]

thanks a lot, shh!
I started out with my gf only talkin online. SHE'S REAL! LOOK AT THE GALLERY, I SWEAR!

[Tone]

So... what's her e-mail address again? ^_^

[shh!]

thanks a lot, shh!
I started out with my gf only talkin online. SHE'S REAL! LOOK AT THE GALLERY, I SWEAR!

She is a figment of your imagination, Debunkt. Sorry...

But seriously, I would not consider it a real "relationship" until after you have met in person a couple of times...

[Debunkt]

why not?
Its different for everyone, and of course a lot of people lie over the net. But for me, and those who choose to be honest types, this is how it works:
I find that a person's true self comes out far more in writing than anything they say or do. When there's no intimidation, fear of immediate rejection, or limitation of inhibitions due to awkwardness and distraction in a personal face-to-face situation, people are completely free with their thoughts and will express their true feelings and emotions better. That's at least how it was for me. After I had gotten myself across over aim and such, then it easily worked its way into phone calls, and then into the way I am all the time. Your most basic truths hide in your writing, and chatting and emails are a good way to display/read them. Once you read what you've written, you realize how much you mean those things despite never having said them before, and become more comfortable with who you really are and actually be that way in everyday, personal situations. It is assumed to be the same for the other person (if you trust them) and you easily become prepared for eventual meeting and furthering of a relationship. But I still say a relationship can start and be held as one over a distance. This, at least, applies to people like me who are typically shy and have trouble saying whats on my mind a lot.

[shh!]

Why? Because so much of interpersonal communication is done physically. Also, yes, the lying...

I think you just got lucky. Good for you.

[Debunkt]

Eh. I've misinterpreted many a physical signal. Its not the easiest thing to comprehend all the time. Plus, I'd rather have someone who can tell me what they're thinking, not have me guess what they're thinking. I got very lucky, I definitely know that. Like I said, everyone's different. But as far as my point, I mean you could either be
A.) exactly the way you are in real life as you are on LF.
B.) You could be more honest and communicative in real life than on LF
C.) You could be more honest and communicative on LF than in real life.

I'd be willing to bet most people fall under C, wouldn't you?

[Tone]

For sure.

But how did you guys meet?

[Debunkt]

HAHA, oh this is good news for you, Tone.

We met on another forum! I kind of flirted with her, just acted funny and shit, posted a pic of myself, just acted like I always do, but did it more directly to her at some point. She did the same back (although everybody knew she was the best looking gal on the forum and she had a guy hit on her everyday), and eventually pm'd me. Then we started talking on aim a lot. After a few weeks I knew I really liked her, she called me, and the rest is history. Talked on the phone everyday for hours, and a few months later I flew out to meet her, shit has been rockin since day one.

[Junsui]

I'm glad it all worked out for you. I agree with shh! though. I can relate to how yours started in a way because I met my bf on a message board, but it was one for our school and we didn't start dating online. We talked became friends and started hanging out and then after a few months started dating. Chatting online can be a good way to learn about someone, but IMO to really get to know someone you have to be around them in person. Not saying anything negative about your relationship, yours works for you and that's great.

[giulia]

jeez....I couldn't control my laughter reading through these posts. In love with someone on the internet!?? No no no. BUT, shame, you know what it is like to be young. Some of the posts were quite mean...tsk tsk.

[Rosebud]

well I'm not sure what advice your looking for here. First you said that you really weren't into her that much and didn't know what to do, and then you said you made up your mind and your not going to break up with her so I really don't know if there's much more to say. I hope things work out and good luck!

[Tone]

That's cool man that it worked for you... but most everything I say here is just goofin off - I don't think I could ever get into anything serious online or long distance. Actually I know I couldn't. ;p

I need to be able to see the person I'm with, need to be able to hug, kiss, etc.

[Rosebud]

I don't think I could ever get into anything serious online or long distance. Actually I know I couldn't. ;p

I need to be able to see the person I'm with, need to be able to hug, kiss, etc.

yep, me too! Actually I think I'd be more scared that the person I was talking to turned out to be someone totally differnet than what they said they were! The internet is a scary place!!!!!