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Thread: Ex on my social media

  1. #1
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    Ex on my social media

    So I was with this guy for about 2 months after knowing him for about 4 yrs. Things were going amazing...or so it seemed (and so he claimed) but then out of no where he broke up with me. He finally, after several days of ignoring me, explained to me it was because he felt he couldn't be himself around me and he thought we had different values. Honestly from where I was standing....I was in disbelief because I thought we clicked very well and I'm never that off about someone.

    Anyways now that we have broken up...he has liked EVERYTHING I post on social media (almost immediately after I post). He never used to like anything before even when together. I unfollowed him just so I don't have to see him as much but still have him as a friend. (I figured I'd be civil about it because we have known each other for awhile) but he never talks to me and hardly explained why he left me so suddenly but now I feel like he is playing games. How do things go from amazing....to him hardly talking to me....to being all over my social media outlets.

    I understand it's social media and it shouldn't always be so read into but still...is it dumb for me to even keep him on there? is it weird that he is doing that?

  2. #2
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    whether it's dumb to keep him or drop him on social media is YOUR call. Is it stressing you out? Is it letting you live your life and be happy? Those answers wil tell you the right route.
    As for "but we were perfect".. yes.. to YOU you were. By him breaking up it means it was not for HIM. Which probably means you were having all your needs taken care of but HIS were not.

    For a relationship to work you need to think of BOTH of you not yourself.
    It takes 2 --- not just 1 --- for a relatoinship.

    So start thinking in terms of BOTH fo you and his side, his needs - if ou want to figure out what happened (he's told you he couldn't be himself around you - did you make demands on him? expectations? tell him what to do or how to do it? asked him to change things about himself? how to spend his time? what to wear? etc.?)

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    yeah I guess I didn't think I wasn't doing what he needed. He never spoke about it yet said we didn't communicate how he wanted. I never put limits on him or criticized him for anything he ever did as he never did that to me either. I obviously don't know from his perspective what I didn't do but as I said I felt I was doing everything he was enjoying. But to say we don't communicate and never even try to communicate left me with no chance to even understand. I understand what you are saying and you are right....I just didn't think I wasn't reciprocating .

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    Sounds like he feels guilty and is why he is liking. Like breaking up with you is made all better because he likes posts online???some people are clueless that way. I'd block him and leave it at that.
    “The world would be a nicer place if everyone had the ability to love as unconditionally as a dog.”

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    just ask?
    at least ten characters
    If you think I am insulting you with my post or bashing you: You do not get the point.
    I am not here to insult or bash anyone. I offer up my free time to help. Take from my post what is useful to you.
    If you are angry about my post or myself, then please stop and think how that happened. Usually that is the way the brain responds if a critical belief system is challenged (its called cognitive dissonance). If you have trouble with it please answer in the thread. I will come back to you.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by lovebroken View Post
    Sounds like he feels guilty and is why he is liking. Like breaking up with you is made all better because he likes posts online???some people are clueless that way. I'd block him and leave it at that.
    Yes, it does look like he's feeling guilty about what he did. But it might not be that he actually thinks that it will make things better, it might be a way for him to try and show that he does not house any ill feelings about you, that while you broke up, he still likes you in some way (just not in a romantic way).
    If he's worth keeping around or not, that's not something anyone here can answer. If it causes you too much pain, don't feel bad about removing him for now, but if you just find his behavior annoying, try talking to him.

  7. #7
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    Social media adds a whole new spectrum to "love". The divorce rate is higher than ever right now. In the past, your crush from high school wasn't just "a click away". Your lovers mom didn't "like" your dinner picture from last weekend. Briefly, social media makes finding love easy, but, at the same time, it makes ending a relationship even more complicated.
    After my divorce, I cut off all social media. When I was ready, about a year after separating, I created new accounts. My past social media "account"s were the past and moving on required starting from scratch.
    My advice? If you had a loving relationship with someone and that relationship is over, cut all social media ties ASAP.

  8. #8
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    Whether or not you contributed to what lead him to break up, and whether or not you were aware of it if you did.... it doesn't change the fact that he chose just to cast you aside rather than to give you the chance to talk about it. Now, if he wasn't interested in you then he did you a favor, frankly. Rather than continuing to lead you on, it was much better he let you go.

    Now, though, he's making himself a constant present in your life, albeit very passively, through your social media. To be perfectly honest with you, I don't think any of us could answer the why.... but I also think the why doesn't matter. If it is upsetting to you, then just go ahead and remove him from your social media. You have no obligation to keep him there. You do not owe him a thing. Frankly, I am generally always a promoter of the idea that it is best to leave your exes completely in your past. There doesn't even have to be any hard feelings. It isn't malicious, it's just you've moved on and don't need him in your life anymore.

    You have to decide what feels right to you, but there is nothing wrong with removing him from your social media. If it upsets you seeing him there, especially as he continues to like/comment/whatever on your posts, then you really owe it to yourself not to let him upset you anymore. Good luck!

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