Does she like me? What do I do next?

**SpinningWheel** · 12-03-17, 03:36 PM

Hi all,
I've got a dilemma with a girl and not knowing if she might like me or not...I know I'm probably overthinking things but I'm not that experienced in the dating game.
Story is this...I've worked at the same law firm as this girl for a few years and we became quite friendly, not speaking all that frequently but every now and again and always had a good laugh. She left a couple of months back to go work at a different law firm and I dropped her a cursory message afterwards wishing her well etc. We were chatting a bit of message and she suggested we go for a couple of drinks, which we do the following week. Drinks were good but nothing really happened for a couple of weeks then when I text her suggesting we meet up again. We did soon after and we went for drinks again also for a meal. We really hit it off well that evening and were making each other laugh and opening up, seemed like we were both very comfortable with each other. I messaged her a couple of times that week and then suggested that we go out the following week to a cafe, again she was up for this so we headed out again. We were in this cafe for a few hours and again had a good laugh and got on well where we continued to be quite open with each other, almost like I feel that we were both more open with each other than we would be with others. Since then we have messaged each other a few times with her initiating a couple of times and me a couple of times. I haven't suggested meeting up again since as I tried to leave the ball in her court with that one.
I'm a bit confused at where we stand with this? I really like her and people I speak to find it peculiar that we are doing all this as friends (we weren't all that close even when we worked at the same firm). Because nothing to the contrary had been said, i hadn't considered these dates but is it possible that she did? What else should i consider doing next?
Also, it's worth noting that I am low in confidence when it comes to women so that's why I need a push in the right direction. In my opinion, she is stunning and I feel I'm not and am a bit out of shape (you can see the lack of confidence...). Any advice you guys can offer would be greatly appreciated

Thanks
Ian

**pcmaster** · 12-03-17, 11:29 PM

Well she for sure is open to things. So just keep meeting her once - trice a week, as much as you want.

Man dont have to be beautiful, man have to be smart. When you are confident you are fooling a girl that you are better looking than you actually are. Its the confidence that makes you attractive. Girls are not attracted to guys with lower confidence than they are. - See vid on youtube - 5 things that hook up women like crack by actualized.org

Also if looks are that important for you then you can visit myprotein.co.uk and find a meal plan for you as well as supplements that will add results to your training efforts.
Weight, looks dont matter when you are feeling good with person and have something to talk about.
Also confidence will come from experience and getting comfortable with the girl. Also girls likes guys who are adventurous.

**Hooo!** · 13-03-17, 04:47 PM

what do you want?

**SpinningWheel** · 15-03-17, 03:22 PM

Hooo! Without being too blunt about it, i want her. I really like her but need to have more confidence in myself. We've not spoken now for a week and I'm letting my poor confidence take over me again! Based on what I've said above, what would you recommend I do as he next step?

**pcmaster** · 15-03-17, 09:04 PM

This is not just about what You want. This is about what she want as well. Dont forget about her wishes when You think about Yours.

**Hooo!** · 16-03-17, 03:56 PM

call her and set a time where you can meet.
for a coffee
cooking at your place
lasertag
outdoor activity
something youd do on weekends anyways.

- - - Updated - - -

Originally Posted by pcmaster

This is not just about what You want. This is about what she want as well. Dont forget about her wishes when You think about Yours.

no you are wrong.
it is not about what she wants.

his actions are solely focussed on what he wants.
it doesnt matter what she wants. He doesnt know it yet and his actions would be the same if he knew it or not. Since he doesnt know his actions (seduction and attraction) are not based on her intentions at any rate.

On the contrary. That is why it is called the hunt.
Sometimes the game doest want to be caught.
Soemtimes the girl pretends she doesnt want to be caught or you mus plow through her "defenses" (aka bitch shield).
the girls intentions do not matter until the point where you change your intentions because of them.
If she really is very uninterested then that will matter. You will realise you are wasting your time and therefore will change your own intentions (or stop the hunt).

**lovebroken** · 16-03-17, 08:54 PM

Did you ever kiss her? even once during all this "dates"? If not she probably thinks you only like her as a hang out buddy, you have to make your intentions clear to people if you like them as more than friends or only as friends.

**lovemenot** · 16-03-17, 09:27 PM

totally agree with lovebroken.
You have to make your intentions clear.
Ask her out again, maybe diner and some drinks (since alcohol usually gives people more confidence) and make a move.
If you are not confident enough to kiss her, maybe then hold her hand or put your arm around her at some point (maybe if you are both standing at a bar or smth).
Also try to look for signals from her: is she flirting or being more like a buddy..

But still go for it! Just kiss her. and see what happens. even if she doesn't respond the way you would like and will only want to stay friends, you will at least know that you tried and did what you could and you will now where you stand. And whatever that is it is still better than not knowing and torturing yourself and then later blaming yourself for not doing anything. It is better to regret things that you did than regret things that you didn't do. Trust me on this - I speak from loads of similar experience ;]

Last time i was on a date I didn't even realize it was a date (we were with more friends in the beginning and then only the two of us left) until he just kissed me out of the blue on the way to a bus stop. And it just totally swept me of my feet and was pure magic. And the element of surprise had a lot to do with that. Since I didn't even think that anything could happen between the two of us up until that kiss. And since then we've been together for six weeks now and it was magical in the beginning, though now everything is kind of going downhill fast, but that's another story ;]

good luck!

**SpinningWheel** · 27-03-17, 04:08 PM

Hey all,
Thanks for the replies and lovemenot, hope things have got better with your relationship? What happened after the good times at the beginning to send it downhill?
I know that I need to make my intentions clear and try to make a move but, being so shy, it's hard to pluck up the confidence. The current situation is that we're meant to be heading out again this week, possibly for drinks. What do you recommend I do to subtly hint what my intentions are? Is there anything that I should look for from her as possible hints? Is it a good sign that she is agreeing to meet me again?
Thanks for your advice, as you can see I'm clearly hopeless :-(
Ian

**pcmaster** · 27-03-17, 06:42 PM

Its good idea to go out for drinks. But even better idea would be to go to her place or your place and take booze from a shop. Thats why its cheaper and more intimate and romantic. Also you could end up kissing what is unlikely to happen in public place.

If shes brave girl and like you then she will agree. SO take good shot at it you can only gain. In worst case you could go out for drinks at public place.

**SpinningWheel** · 02-04-17, 04:25 AM

Thanks pcmaster, that would be ideal but I don't think going round to her house is very realistic at the moment!
We're going out this week I think so i need to decide how to behave and how to know if many she wants more? Any female opinions would be great?
Ian

**pcmaster** · 02-04-17, 12:41 PM

Man thats realistic. At least for me. You should for sure try and you might get lucky. Its worth the risk.

**shrah25** · 03-04-17, 01:05 PM

Originally Posted by SpinningWheel

Hi all,
I've got a dilemma with a girl and not knowing if she might like me or not...I know I'm probably overthinking things but I'm not that experienced in the dating game.
Story is this...I've worked at the same law firm as this girl for a few years and we became quite friendly, not speaking all that frequently but every now and again and always had a good laugh. She left a couple of months back to go work at a different law firm and I dropped her a cursory message afterwards wishing her well etc. We were chatting a bit of message and she suggested we go for a couple of drinks, which we do the following week. Drinks were good but nothing really happened for a couple of weeks then when I text her suggesting we meet up again. We did soon after and we went for drinks again also for a meal. We really hit it off well that evening and were making each other laugh and opening up, seemed like we were both very comfortable with each other. I messaged her a couple of times that week and then suggested that we go out the following week to a cafe, again she was up for this so we headed out again. We were in this cafe for a few hours and again had a good laugh and got on well where we continued to be quite open with each other, almost like I feel that we were both more open with each other than we would be with others. Since then we have messaged each other a few times with her initiating a couple of times and me a couple of times. I haven't suggested meeting up again since as I tried to leave the ball in her court with that one.
I'm a bit confused at where we stand with this? I really like her and people I speak to find it peculiar that we are doing all this as friends (we weren't all that close even when we worked at the same firm). Because nothing to the contrary had been said, i hadn't considered these dates but is it possible that she did? What else should i consider doing next?
Also, it's worth noting that I am low in confidence when it comes to women so that's why I need a push in the right direction. In my opinion, she is stunning and I feel I'm not and am a bit out of shape (you can see the lack of confidence...). Any advice you guys can offer would be greatly appreciated

Thanks
Ian

HI [MENTION=85287]SpinningWheel[/MENTION]

Thanks for your message.

There have been a number of people here who have talked about confidence, making a move etc and whilst these are important, it's also important to read the situation well, yet stack the cards in your favour.

At this point, you have been on a number of 'catchups' with her so it's important that take the appropriate action before you fall into the friends bucket potentially. From what you've stated so far, I think there is a real chance here hence the importance of reading the situation.

Like one of the others said, grabbing the bull by the horns is actually a really important skill to develop. A true feminine woman loves it when a man takes charge, is decisive and adds spontaneity to the mix as well. This does require you to operate with real confidence and self assurance which she will thrive on.

One of the things that I think will be really important for you here is to develop some skills around flirting. I'm making an assumption here that it's a skill you don't have much of - primarily because of your comments on having low confidence with women. If you can create even more of a spark by adding flirting to the mix, then one of two things could happen here - (1) She jumps on board and flirts back or (2) She doesn't reciprocate and then you know in advance that she's not interested in you on a romantic level. This way, you can prevent all the awkwardness should you try and kiss her and get shut down. This is something that works time and time again - that is, building up to the moment, rather than just going in for the kill.

You mentioned below that you are meeting her this week. What have you guys got planned?

I Hope this all makes sense.

Any questions, please let me know.

Cheers
Sri

**SpinningWheel** · 06-04-17, 02:54 PM

Hi Sri,
Thanks for your comments, they make a lot of sense.

We are going out next week sometime, probably for drinks and some food. How would you suggest I go about "stacking the cards in my favour" in this setting?

I wouldn't necessarily say I'm a poor flirt but I don't really do it that often because of my low confidence in that department. Do you have any tips for that?

Appreciate your help here

Thanks,
Joe

**shrah25** · 06-04-17, 03:04 PM

Originally Posted by SpinningWheel

Hi Sri,
Thanks for your comments, they make a lot of sense.

We are going out next week sometime, probably for drinks and some food. How would you suggest I go about "stacking the cards in my favour" in this setting?

I wouldn't necessarily say I'm a poor flirt but I don't really do it that often because of my low confidence in that department. Do you have any tips for that?

Appreciate your help here

Thanks,
Joe

Hi Joe

There are a lot of tips I can give you for sure but i'm a little pressed for time right now to write them all here. I've sent you a PM - just email me and i'll put together a short video for you if you like with some pointers.

Cheers
Sri

Thread: Does she like me? What do I do next?

Thread Tools

Does she like me? What do I do next?

Posting Permissions