My gf broke up with me and says she needs some time apart from me.

[whaywardj]

Stepping down a moment from the height of my years to mingle with you plebeians:

AENARION! Wake the **** up! You said it yourself. "...had a crush on her the first day...left me stranded..." Read between your own lines. Odds are, you were smothering her with your need and the arguments were, REALLY, all about her trying to get a little oxygen through the emotional stranglehold you had her in.

[Asip4u]

Stepping down a moment from the height of my years to mingle with you plebeians:

AENARION! Wake the **** up! You said it yourself. "...had a crush on her the first day...left me stranded..." Read between your own lines. Odds are, you were smothering her with your need and the arguments were, REALLY, all about her trying to get a little oxygen through the emotional stranglehold you had her in.

Ahh, Hayward, it's gonna take awhile till this sinks in for him. Some people are also really good at ignoring the obvious.

[Aenarion]

thanx for the advice, i think i knew it already in my heart. just didnt want to admit it cos it hurts. however, i am not a person which graps himself to others, i have my own life and such. It was the moment that i said "we need to see eachother less often, that way we can work things out" that things start to get even worse.

thx asip4u for advice, i think all was obvious already, i just had to realise it. from next week on i have a have a appointment with a shrink :S hope he can help me further before i start to lose my mind.

[independent]

Its been a few days since your last post - all okay on your end?

I was just curious about the break up itself. All you really said was that she said she needed some time apart from you. Obviously this left you with hope that the two of you would work things out. Any ideas why she needed that time apart (something specific - or just tired of fussing?)... ?

[Aenarion]

It's because my ex gf said there might be still hope that eats me from the inside. Each day i only feel sadder instead of slowly getting over with it. And she needs some time apart (but i start wondering if she will ever come back) because she wants to sort out what she really wants in life, and she says she can do that only by herself, withhout me.

I have medicins now and i have a weekly appointment at the psychiatrist, i just hope that one day i can forget her. Because i don't think she will ever come back to me, i would only fool myself (i think she say'd that because she cares for me and doesn't want to hurt but it causes the opposite)

I am aware with what i SHOULD do, but it isn't that easy. I feel like i have lost someone who is irreplaceable, it's quite easy to give advice when u are not in it. But if you do, well, things gets more complicated.

[independent]

I just re-read your thread... and it occurred to me that you could easily be MY bf. Just sort of creeped me out there for a sec.

All things considered, I'm probably not the best person to offer you advice. Or maybe I am, since I can relate to the "unknown" in your equation.

Is it too personal to tell us what it is she felt she needed to "straighten out in her life" or why she needed time to herself? I assume there was a good reason for the request - it it one you can accept?

I'm sorry you're hurting.

[fear_21]

you will get over that, i know you feel now like shes the ony one in your life....bla bla bla... Thats always human. That stuff she told you, she needs time and so on,....bullthit, she doesnt want to see you anymore. So my friend,...get out...meet new one...there are millions of ths. of girls you can talk to, meet and f.... them in the end. Be human...be the winner...laugh and party all your free time. you will prevale

[Aenarion]

i was feeling better for 2 days already for the first time in two months, then she contacted me by email, and i only fell back in this black hole again

In the mail she said we'd better not see eachother for a while but still could have contact and maybe she would visit me in a while. Well, thats one thing i cant take anymore, it's too much. When i see her my heart starts melting and i realise myself again that i have lost her, which drives me insane.

I just don't know myself anymore, that feeling of being not whole anymore is breaking me apart. I have start exercising again, from next week on i will start doing volunteering work, university is quite busy now and i work in the weekend and go out with friends.

but still even when i go out i can't stop thinking about my ex

The main reason why she wanted she straighten out things is her future, her dad does not see in me the perfect and idealistic friend for her perfect daughter, then comes the problem: my ex is very close with her family and their opinion is quite important. I had many arguments with her dad which sees me as somebody who is way too much of a softy, my daughter needs a guy who can take care for her, not a sissy.

Those were the beginning days of our troubles, because i didnt feel comfortable being in their home anymore i decided to see Lisa less often(see my last posts) The atmosphere was always quite tence when i was there and i got annoyed quite easy. Resulting in silly arguements which went out of control.

Another thing (which is important to me) is that i am going to the states to the university of arizona for about 7 weeks in may, when i get back she will be gone for 1 year to study abroad.

I can give many many other examples but that would require a book!

[Asip4u]

Sorry to hear that Aenarion. If her parents are like that and she always listens to them, you better move on and fast cause it can only get worse. You have to start doing other things to get your mind away from this. There are many girls out there with whom you can easily be happy with but i know it's too hard for you to imagine that at this point.