Female masturbation

[James78]

Hi, i have been wigh my partner for 8 years and our relationship on the whole is good.

I came home from work early recently and could hear noises from upstairs. To be honest I thought my partner was in pain. When i went upstairs she was red faced and flustered. I asked if she was ok and she assured me she was.

I spoke with a friend who said he thought she was masturbating.

I am not sure whether this is something that I should ask her about or ignore. If she was masturbating does this suggest that she is not fulfilled?

[melancholia]

She could have been, but why does it matter if she was? Does it mean a guy is not fulfilled sexually if he jerks off? Not usually. She probably enjoys it. You can ask her about it, but it's up to her if she wants to discuss it with you or not.

[James78]

I guess it doesn't matter so long as i know that she is satisfied with me. It is not something that I have thought about before and maybe naively something i assumed she didn't do

[melancholia]

It's naïve to assume she didn't, most women do. Just like most men do. It's really not a big deal if she does, and most likely, it has nothing to do with you or your performance in the bedroom. It has more to do with her own exploration of her own body, and a quick way to get off when she needs to. If you are concerned about your sex life, or about her happiness with you, then you should ask her about that.

[James78]

Thanks melancholia. I should ask her happiness. That is what is important to me. I will ignore the masturbation as it sounds like that is mire to do with my own insecurities

[shrah25]

Thanks melancholia. I should ask her happiness. That is what is important to me. I will ignore the masturbation as it sounds like that is mire to do with my own insecurities

Hi [MENTION=85347]James78[/MENTION]


You've actually brought up a really point that I hope the viewers of this thread can really learn from it.
What you're experiencing is very common and in reality, it is absolutely no difference to a guy going off and masturbating.
However, there is one point that I want to make here which I believe is crucial here.
For a masculine male, the single most important thing is to make his woman happy. Nothing lights a man up more and when this isn't happening, he feels worthless. He feels insecure. He feels like he's not good enough.
What i'm pointing out here is, in all my experience working with men and women, nothing affects a man more.

So whilst this is most likely bringing up a number of negative emotions for you, it actually represents a huge opportunity for you to develop your your relationship. The tendency in these situations is to focus on you and what you're doing wrong but it's really important to set outside of yourself and focus on your partners needs. If you can do this at levels she's never experienced before, then her feelings for you will completely skyrocket!

There are a number of strategies you can use to address this. I'll PM you shortly and give you a couple of bits of advice to get you on your way.

Hope that helps :-)

[breathe123]

Something clearly got her turned on, & then she masturbated, I am sure it isn't the first time she has masturbated, only the first time you were aware of it. Normal to masturbate, doesn't mean anything bad towards you, and sex with you.

[James78]

Thanks shrah25. I read your PM but I am new here so couldn't reply. I would be interested to know how to find your blog.

[shrah25]

Hi [MENTION=85347]James78[/MENTION]

No problems at all. How about you just send me a quick email to sri@srcoaching.co.nz and then I know where to send you the link when it's done?

Thanks