I am going to try to be as brief as possible with my saga because I don’t want anyone to fall asleep.
I was married for 5 years. No kids. My mother got sick and I lived with her until she passed away which put strain on my relationship. I could not handle the fighting with my husband and caring for my mother at the same time so I filed for divorce (STUPID).
Shortly thereafter, I started dating someone. It got serious and he proposed a year and a half later. I was happy but not as happy as when I got engaged to my previous husband. My current fiancé had started law school the year before we got engaged. I have been there from the beginning.
Anyway, my fiancé is very negative about everything. He is very critical and impatient with others as well. He gets this from his mother. She is the same way and they butt heads because they are just alike. I am a very upbeat person and always try to find the positive in things and I enjoy my friends and family.
My fiancé started draining me with the constant negativity. I tried to point it out to him several times but he blew up at me. Finally, after 3 short months of being engaged, I moved out because I couldn’t take it.
He was very apologetic and swore that he would change. I told him to give me a few months and we would see. We continued to see each other but we were no longer engaged. His attitude improved dramatically and I moved back in 3 months later. A few months later, he gave the ring back.
Fast forward about 6 months and Christmas is coming up. Because both of my parents are dead, I look forward to the holidays with his family because I love family interaction and being with the ones you care about. He decides we weren’t going to go this year because he just wants to relax during his school break and he doesn’t feel like driving 16 hours each way. Fair enough. He has been under a lot of stress with school and I could understand where he was coming from.
Fast forward another 5 months and it is his last semester in law school. Graduation is coming up. I am so proud and excited for him. I ask of work in advance so I can attend the big event. His parents are scheduled to come down for a couple of days and stay at a hotel nearby.
I spend my after work hours cleaning and getting ready for his parents. I even wash and vacuum his car because he is picking them up at the airport and there was dog hair all over the inside of the vehicle.
Here’s the shocker…the day before his family arrives, he tells me that his parents don’t know we are engaged. In fact, they don’t even know we are as serious as we are! He told his mom that he takes care of my cat when I am out of town for work. She doesn’t know I live with him. I asked why and he said he never told them that we got engaged again after the initial break-up. He said he was so hurt that he opened up to his mom and she said things about me like I wasn’t ambitious enough for him (I have a Masters and she has a GED). He said he also wanted to see if we had any more problems before he told them (we have been re-engaged for over a year).
Anyway, I wasn’t allowed to visit or go to dinner with them. I didn’t even get to see them while they were here because after the whole 3 years I was with him in law school, I wasn’t allowed to go to his graduation! Oh, and after graduation, they stopped in to see the dog and he asked me to go in the back room so they wouldn’t see me.
I have never felt so disrespected and unwanted. He thinks I am being unreasonable. He thinks it is no big deal. I wanted to share my story. I am hurt. I am sad.
