Her affection and sexdrive are lower?

Printable View

19-04-09, 09:22 PM
LoneWolfie

Her affection and sexdrive are lower?

Hi,

First time poster here, feels kinda silly doing this but i would like some advice on my situation.

I have known my 19 year old GF for about 9 months. We are together for about 6 months now. Ever since i met her she has always been the most affectionate and clingy girl ever. Always wanting to cuddle, hug, make out, snog, etc. And telling me "i love you" a couple times an hour. Really cute and i enjoyed it since i have always lacked affection in my life before her. And the feeling of a girl always wanting to show how much she loves me really melts my heart and makes me feel safe.

Since we started dating and become sexually active she also turned out to be sexually extremely active. Pretty much having sex or making love every day we could have it.

The past week i have needed her affection more because i was nervous about a university graduation presentation that i have in a few days. :horror: It caused me to be more clingy.

Her affection seemed to slow down a bit at the same time i became a bit more clingy to try to stimulate her into giving me a little more back. It didnt seem to work as she started to only give affection in response to me, not out of her own doing. She also had no interest in sex. I talked to her about it after a few days and she said she also noticed her decline in active affection and dissapearing sexdrive. She added has had a very active sexdrive since she was in her early teens.

That talk also made her reveal a small hint that she was a bit overpowered by my clinginess. So i stopped and only give her affection as much as i always have given, hoping she would spring back up. A few hours after the talk, and me 'backing off' she did start to cuddle with me again and seemed her usual self. But the following day she again seemed a bit distant, distracted and not talking to me as much or giving as much affection as she used to. Which is kind of ironic because if i were to do that to her she would likely feel sad and a bit neglected.

Last night i asked her if something changed this week and if she was still happy. She almost seemed insulted by the question and told me "yes, something has changed." after a little pause that seemed like an eternity she said: "i love you more then last week".

In short:
- I gave her more affection while at the same time she gave me less.
- Her usually very active sexdrive seems gone.
- She seems a bit distant and not as interested in me as she used to be.
- This change seemed to happen rather suddenly.

Anyone know what could be wrong? Or is it all in my head and i just need to relax and stop worrying?
(EDIT: maybe i should add that im 25, and that this is my first serious relationship. So i have no idea if these things 'just happen' and if it will blow over.)
19-04-09, 10:30 PM
vashti

It's possible she is reconsidering your relationship - that is common after dating this long. You need to back off the clinginess. WAY off. It sounds like she is needing to see you being more masculine, and clinginess/neediness is not associated with masculinity.

BTW - for young girls, being very sexually active is not the same thing as having a strong sex drive. Many teenage girls are very sexually active, but it is because they want the attention and affection from a male. Haven't you ever noticed that many of the young girls who are sexually active have home issues, and often an absent father? Your g/f may have come in to this relationship with some deep-seated issues that you may just be beginning to see.
19-04-09, 10:39 PM
LoneWolfie

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It's possible she is reconsidering your relationship - that is common after dating this long. You need to back off the clinginess. WAY off. It sounds like she is needing to see you being more masculine, and clinginess/neediness is not associated with masculinity.

I see, that reconsidering part has me a bit worried. But yeah ill back off and see if she comes back out of her 'shell' on her own.

I hope i can turn this around. :horror:
19-04-09, 10:54 PM
vashti

She's only 19 - just a kid. She isn't meant to be in long term relationships at that age, my friend. You might want to reconsider the age of your dating partners if this ends up not working out...
19-04-09, 11:12 PM
LoneWolfie

Ok she just hugtackled me to the ground and told me she loved me.....

women...
20-04-09, 05:10 AM
alovehangoverr

Sounds like the honeymoon stage is wearing off and she's reconsidering things. It's not unusual for someone in this stage to go back and forth from super affectionate to barely at all. It blows-- but it happens.

I've also noticed the younger the person is, the quicker the honeymoon ends haha.

If you've let the issue be known to her, just back off it. She'll make the decision about what she wants to do.. you being clingy and continuously confronting her about it won't change that.. more than likely it'll make it worse.
20-04-09, 06:09 AM
LoneWolfie

Quote:

Originally Posted by alovehangoverr [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Sounds like the honeymoon stage is wearing off and she's reconsidering things. It's not unusual for someone in this stage to go back and forth from super affectionate to barely at all. It blows-- but it happens.

I've also noticed the younger the person is, the quicker the honeymoon ends haha.

If you've let the issue be known to her, just back off it. She'll make the decision about what she wants to do.. you being clingy and continuously confronting her about it won't change that.. more than likely it'll make it worse.

Ill remember that. Thanks for the advice, im new at this 'relationship' thing. :nerd:
20-04-09, 06:56 AM
cewzp4

I would probably freak out if there was so much clingy-ness in my relationship. She tells you she loves a few times an hour? That would totally ruin the importance of the phrase.

I think you two should slow it down a little bit. Maybe she feels like she needs some space. I know I would.
20-04-09, 07:17 AM
LoneWolfie

Quote:

Originally Posted by cewzp4 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I would probably freak out if there was so much clingy-ness in my relationship. She tells you she loves a few times an hour? That would totally ruin the importance of the phrase.

I think you two should slow it down a little bit. Maybe she feels like she needs some space. I know I would.

Sometimes i want her to slow down a bit yeah, and i gently tell her and she will slow down and just enjoy holding my hand or something like that. :)

But i think this was the first time she had a bit too much mushiness from me for a change. After the talk we had she promised she would do the same and tell me insted of just nodding and keeping quiet.
20-04-09, 07:22 AM
cewzp4

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoneWolfie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

After the talk we had she promised she would do the same and tell me insted of just nodding and keeping quiet.

Well its definitely a good thing that you two can at least talk about the issue.